Apr 28, 2006 23:42
But I fear that to fall in love with you
Would be to fall from a great and gruesome height
Dar Williams "Iowa"
When I fall, I fall deeply in love. Platonic love or otherwise. Right now it's a platonic love. I think about hir a lot. I push out my bottem lip when he has to leave early, or when someone who talks a lot shows up to dominate the conversation and turn it from our gentle seriousness to blantant, crude humor. It was Rachel, it was Sam, it was Pixie, it was Sam again, and now it's hir. I don't understand how to communicate my need for touch in platonic relationships, too. Ze was reading what I have written on my jacket and the hood was in the way so ze lifted it up. That's, like, the first time ze's actually touched me. I want hir to know--I want to explain this love thing I've got going on for hir but...it'd be too awkward and dangerous to explain. I had a dream of hir the other night and, in it, I reached for hir hand, and when we wrapped out hands together, walking together across this field in Wisconsin, his hand was warm and familiar: to be precise, it was a cross between Sam and Papa's hands.
Anyway. That's what's on my mind. The way things--friends--come and go, come and go. Such as how this fall ze'll be leaving. And me and Sam broke up. And I never see Pix anymore. Come and go, come and go. I fall so crazy in love, and get so low-done lonely.
I'm going to bed now. Maybe I'll make some tea. I'll go read maybe. Or do sudoku or crosswords. And I'll listen to the CD ze gave me. Bjork.
As much as I definitely enjoy solitude
I wouldn't mind perhaps
Spending little time with you
Bjork "Possibly Maybe"
love,
friends,
lyrics,
music