(no subject)
My previous writing just disappeared, but I'm strangely calm about it. Oh well. I'll start again.
Today:
*breakfast with Rowen, Joe, Matt and family
*emailing Riley
*calling eli* and not being terrified
*finally getting my rental app faxed
*Pride in Oly with Emily - yay!
*working 4-10:30 with Jaime
*some really good conversations with Jaime
*finally meeting creepy cookie man! (he always wears a green striped shirt, buys three cookies with all change, and hits on who ever is working, including Jaime when her girlfriend is around...)
*dancing to Cat Stevens in the back
*quality time with Billy Collins (work was super slow)
*writing poetry that might be good
*body ache w/ unknown cause
*no response from Riley
Tomorrow:
*working 8-4
*second to last day of work
*waiting for a response from Riley
*maybe seeing Emily (if she stops in to work)
*probably some packing
Other:
*more contemplating over how drastically my self image has changed over the past...three weeks (was it really that long ago that this started?!)
*marlboro
*noticing that accepting that I was feeling guilty made those feelings go away
*re-realizing that needing to mourn and greive isn't always a rational thing
*worrying about friends
*worrying about changes
*worrying about what I'll lose
*worrying about what I might not be able to gain
*Pride making me rethink how I've been feeling about my extra weight
*worrying a little about how me and * aren't talking and how cold I'll have to be the next time * calls just to make sure I don't forgive too early
Thanks to the Sudden Boy in my life:
*having feeling in my body - I don't know that this has ever happened before
*feeling pretty
*feeling capable physically
*not hating my body/fat
*worrying about how trust/commitment relates to physical freedom in my relationships
*feeling free in my body
*planning
Today:
*breakfast with Rowen, Joe, Matt and family
*emailing Riley
*calling eli* and not being terrified
*finally getting my rental app faxed
*Pride in Oly with Emily - yay!
*working 4-10:30 with Jaime
*some really good conversations with Jaime
*finally meeting creepy cookie man! (he always wears a green striped shirt, buys three cookies with all change, and hits on who ever is working, including Jaime when her girlfriend is around...)
*dancing to Cat Stevens in the back
*quality time with Billy Collins (work was super slow)
*writing poetry that might be good
*body ache w/ unknown cause
*no response from Riley
Tomorrow:
*working 8-4
*second to last day of work
*waiting for a response from Riley
*maybe seeing Emily (if she stops in to work)
*probably some packing
Other:
*more contemplating over how drastically my self image has changed over the past...three weeks (was it really that long ago that this started?!)
*marlboro
*noticing that accepting that I was feeling guilty made those feelings go away
*re-realizing that needing to mourn and greive isn't always a rational thing
*worrying about friends
*worrying about changes
*worrying about what I'll lose
*worrying about what I might not be able to gain
*Pride making me rethink how I've been feeling about my extra weight
*worrying a little about how me and * aren't talking and how cold I'll have to be the next time * calls just to make sure I don't forgive too early
Thanks to the Sudden Boy in my life:
*having feeling in my body - I don't know that this has ever happened before
*feeling pretty
*feeling capable physically
*not hating my body/fat
*worrying about how trust/commitment relates to physical freedom in my relationships
*feeling free in my body
*planning