Change of Plans: Friends Locking
I've always liked having an open journal. The problem is that I read it at work, a lot, and there have been too many times lately when people have materialized at my desk, reading over my shoulder before I even realized they were there. This includes my boss. Half the office could know my LJ name by now. So, finally, I've come to the decision that
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a) I want to keep a professional demeanour with them, and I think it would be hard for them to respect me if they knew some of my sillier fannish exploits.
b) It's none of their business. When I did read LJ at work, I was always careful not to click on any non-worksafe fic or picture posts, because I don't think it's appropriate to read porn at work. Plus, I don't necessarily want the people I work with knowing that I get turned on thinking about one hot guy going down on another. It just seems like information about my private life that they don't need.
c) I want to keep distance between work me and non-work me. I spend a lot of time there, and I want some separation.
Besides, gossip zooms round an office like crazy, and even if the first person who knew thought it was completely harmless, it might eventually reach the ears of someone who would be uncomfortable with it, and I might hypothetically be denied promotion because of my 'deviant' hobbies. I'm not saying that's particularly likely, but it's not impossible either.
I get along well with most of the people I work with, but I have to be with them a *lot*. You know how on a crowded bus or train, people get that far-away look in their eyes as they're squished in close to strangers. They have no personal space, so they increase their mental personal space by closing their eyes or listening to music or just daydreaming. There's nobody with a more aloof expression than the person I'm squished in next to on a crowded bus.
I think work space is similar to bus space. Rather than crowding you physically, the people around you crowd you because you have to spend so much time with them, and you have to get along with them whether you really want to or not. So you keep part of yourself private as a way of holding on to your personal space. My closest friend at work is probably going to be leaving soon, and I'm actually looking forward to that, because I think I'll be more comfortable and more able to be honest with her when she's solely someone I see in my social life. I'll miss chatting with her at work, but I won't miss having to keep that emotional reserve with a person who I think could potentially be a really close friend.
Maybe I'm just paranoid. Maybe other people don't separate out work friends and social friends like this. But I guess what I'm trying to say is that the people you work with don't have to be unsympathetic for you to be uncomfortable sharing intimate details of your life with them. And LJ can get pretty intimate, even when it's not about sex stuff. There's a definite confessional attitude encouraged by LJ's anonymity, and it's sometimes hard to remember that the anonymity can be illusory, that a public post can be read by *anyone*.
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Friend? prettypleasewithcherryontop
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