life
life is so depressing lately. I don't want to live here and i feel torn between wanting to be in NY, but I know i'll miss my family. I know that i don't get along with them, and i rarely even see them. Still there's something that hurts to neglect them. I worry about them, i feel like i keep them together, and that hurts. However, Los Angeles is the toilet of the United States.
I spent the weekend looking at BOXES of baby pictures that i'd never even knew existed. My mother ACTUALLY WROTE a whooooooooole calendar of the first year i was born. (((Now, for those of you who know my mother, you'll probably fall to the floor in shock.))) She wrote about everything that we did together, she even wrote about my bowel movements! My sneezes, my sicknesses, my crawls, when i used to wrinkle my nose, my first words, allll kinds of things. I remember when we were close, but i kind of forgot HOW close. As long as i've ever remembered my mother is the QUEEN of neglect, her writing in a calendar about me is the biggest compliment of my life. We didn't even know they existed, hundreds of them newborn, and toddler ones.
I miss my family. I miss my brother, when he was sweet little andrew. Now we all have drug problems. It's REALLY sad. I see those pictures and I didn't even see ONE where i was crying, or didn't have the BIGGEST smile on my face. TIMES HAVE CHANGED.
I spent the weekend looking at BOXES of baby pictures that i'd never even knew existed. My mother ACTUALLY WROTE a whooooooooole calendar of the first year i was born. (((Now, for those of you who know my mother, you'll probably fall to the floor in shock.))) She wrote about everything that we did together, she even wrote about my bowel movements! My sneezes, my sicknesses, my crawls, when i used to wrinkle my nose, my first words, allll kinds of things. I remember when we were close, but i kind of forgot HOW close. As long as i've ever remembered my mother is the QUEEN of neglect, her writing in a calendar about me is the biggest compliment of my life. We didn't even know they existed, hundreds of them newborn, and toddler ones.
I miss my family. I miss my brother, when he was sweet little andrew. Now we all have drug problems. It's REALLY sad. I see those pictures and I didn't even see ONE where i was crying, or didn't have the BIGGEST smile on my face. TIMES HAVE CHANGED.