2014 holiday fic roundup! (yuletide, yuleterrible)
GIFT STORIES RECEIVED
Between Yuleterrible and Yuletide I had some amazing motherfuckers gift me some amazing motherfucking stories. READ THEM. CELEBRATE THEM. What a goddamn flawlesss year.
YULETIDE
Io Saturnalia (4043 words) by linaerys
Fandom: Coriolanus - Shakespeare
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Tullus Aufidius/Caius Martius
Summary: Attius Tullus Aufidius tries to write his memoirs.
Excerpt: Here Tullus put down his pen many nights previous. He can set nothing more in words. Martius had few enough words when he lived. Now, long since dust, no words can capture him, draw him for future generations to build in their minds and admire. Even now, Tullus cannot help but mix his love with his hate, longing with his bitter gall.
Note from me: FUCKING READ THIS!!!!!!!!!!!
YULETERRIBLE
Sure, It's a Coffee Stain. (1169 words) by waldorph
Fandom: Folgers "Home for the Holidays" Commercial
Rating: Explicit
Additional Tags: Sibling Incest
Note from me: When this appeared in my inbox, A Thousand Years started playing in my heart and hasn't stopped since. THIS IS FRIENDSHIP.
The Last Of Us (1830 words) by gyzym
Fandom: The Lord of the Rings (Movies)
Rating: General Audiences
Relationships: Boromir & Faramir, Éowyn/Faramir
Characters: Boromir (son of Denethor II), Faramir, Denethor, Éowyn
Additional Tags: Rule 63
Summary: A promise, a letter, and a moment of recognition. (Rule!63 Boromir and Faramir. Warnings for canonical character death.)
Excerpt: “I shall promise to remain here, and be all right,” says Faramir slowly, “if you shall promise to return here, and be all right.”
On The Way To Something New (2316 words) by leupagus
Fandom: The Lord of the Rings (Movies), The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Boromir (son of Denethor II), Faramir, Thorongil
Additional Tags: Rule 63, Genderswap, Pre-Canon, Alternate Universe - Pre-Canon
Summary: “Faramir,” Boromir said as patiently as she could, “We’ve already decided-“
“You decided that my vote only counts as a half because I’m shorter than you,” Faramir argued.
“Well that’s just democracy,” she reasoned.
Note: AS YOU CAN SEE, I asked for Rule 63 Boromir and Faramir and now it's ALL I FUCKING WANT.
LANYON IS FUCKING WONDERFUL AND WROTE ME A RANDOM TFLN PROMPTED STORY AAAAHAHAHA
We could just stay in and save each other (1179 words) by lanyon
Fandom: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Captain America (Movies), Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Rating: Not Rated
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers
Characters: Peggy Carter, James "Bucky" Barnes, Steve Rogers, Sharon Carter, Antoine Triplett, Tony Stark, Clint Barton cameo
Additional Tags: AU: Peggy is a Winter Soldier, Cock-blocked, Established Relationship, Tripp lives
Summary: Peggy is upset at being stood up for a date. It takes Steve and Bucky a couple of days to figure out why.
Excerpt: “Steve showed up two hours late and Bucky didn’t show up at all because he was in Medical because he lost his arm.”
Antoine stares at her, in shock.
“The left one,” says Peggy, dismissively. “Stark can make him another.”
“Oh, good,” says Antoine. “That makes it okay.”
GIFT STORIES WRITTEN
And in return, I wrote three stories for Yuletide and three for Yuleterrible! BEHOLD.
YULETIDE
a little night murder (4867 words) by screamlet
Fandom: QI RPF, British Comedy RPF, Actor RPF, British Actor RPF
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Relationships: Victoria Coren/David Mitchell, Abigail Burdess/Robert Webb, Stephen Fry/Jack Whitehall
Characters: David Mitchell, Victoria Coren, Robert Webb, Stephen Fry, Jack Whitehall
Additional Tags: Christmas Party, Rants, Bickering, Banter, Dialogue Heavy
Summary: God help them, the (Coren) Mitchells and Webbs are hosting a party this year.
Excerpt: And when David finished yelling into the now-empty skull of Jack Whitehall, TOTAL FUCKHEAD, he took another breath and said:
“YES, WE WILL BE HOSTING A PARTY THIS YEAR. AT ROBERT’S HOUSE, AS THIS YEAR I WON’T HAVE TIME TO CONVERT OUR SEX TORTURE DUNGEON INTO A DICKENSIAN WONDERLAND FOR YOUR SHITTY PLEASURE, JACK. HERE’S TO 2015, YOU WALKING, BLISTERING RECTUM.”
Note from me: Ummmmmm in case you can't tell, I loved writing this story. I loved it SO MUCH.
around the world in 80 beds (3988 words) by screamlet
Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF, Captain America (Movies) RPF, Actor RPF
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Relationships: Chris Evans/Sebastian Stan
Characters: Chris Evans, Sebastian Stan, Scarlett Johansson, Anthony Mackie, Tom Hiddleston
Additional Tags: Travel, Touring, Dialogue Heavy, Reverse Chronology, First Time, Storytelling, Long-Distance Relationship, 5 Times
Summary: It started with Tom choosing his karaoke song.
Well, no, it started before that. It started in New York.
Actually, it started even before that.
Excerpt: The night ended after Scarlett brought down their tiny private room-house with a rendition of “American Pie” that she stretched out into 12 excruciating minutes by tapping into a ley line that connected straight to hell. Her lyrics took a dark turn into the truth about Channing Tatum and his quest for the still-beating hearts of men.
Note from me: I promised lanyon eons ago, maybe a whole entire year ago, that one day I would write her Evans/Sebstan, and I FINALLY fucking did it, writing this in a fugue state. The scene at the train station might be one of my favorite things?? IF I AM ALLOWED TO CHOOSE FAVORITES.
a way up (1050 words) by screamlet
Fandom: Only Lovers Left Alive (2013)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Adam (Only Lovers Left Alive)/Eve (Only Lovers Left Alive)
Additional Tags: Post-Canon, Immortals in Space, Space Flight, Vampires, VAMPIRES IN SPACE
Summary: It takes a while before space becomes a viable travel destination.
Adam spends that time wondering about the sun.
Excerpt: She closes her eyes to think on the richness of space, the vast emptiness where a sound could travel for years without being heard.
“Just once,” Eve says. “I would like to see it all just once.”
Note from me: I wrote this in like, two hours the Saturday before the archive opened, on a whim, bc the prompt was so good! "These super intelligent and stylish vampires are going to live forever! WHAT IF THEY GO TO SPACE?" Ugh, not letting that premise go anytime soon.
YULETERRIBLE
Dwarf-Elf Relations at the Close of the Third Age (7030 words) by screamlet
Fandom: The Hobbit (Jackson movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Rating: General Audiences
Relationships: Kíli/Tauriel
Characters: Kíli, Tauriel, Fíli, Dís, Thorin Oakenshield, Bilbo Baggins, Thorin's Company
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Weddings, Drinking Games, Female Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield, Banter, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Post-Battle of Five Armies, Fix-It
Excerpt: “Legolas has had word from his father today. Well. He told me today, I can only assume he had it today.”
“How is the Lord of Robes Aplenty?” Kíli asked. “You never did tell me where he found a battle elk. Rams are one thing, but that elk. Really.”
Note from me: The ONE RULE we have for Yuleterrible, I mean the ONE RULE (because of me) is that NO ONE DIES. So, everyone lives! And there's a WEDDING! And a DRINKING CONTEST!
it's family time (6080 words) by screamlet
Fandom: Girl Meets World, Boy Meets World
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Shawn Hunter/Cory Matthews/Topanga Lawrence
Characters: Maya Hart, Eric Matthews (Boy Meets World), Riley Matthews
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Polyamory, Adoption
Excerpt: “All anyone would have to pay are maintenance fees and utilities,” Cory said.
Shawn nodded and continued the tour through the rooms (already furnished).
“And it’s not haunted,” Cory said, “Unless the kids ask and then yes, it’s haunted. One of the ghosts is named Grandma Ruth, who died of loneliness when her grandkids didn’t send thank you notes.”
“Nice touch,” Shawn said.
Note from me: The story behind this story I wrote for waldorph will always be that she CALLED ME as she was READING IT to shriek and cry into the phone, sooooooooo bye
a very on-brand holiday (1754 words) by screamlet
Fandom: Actor RPF, Into the Woods (2014) RPF
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Anna Kendrick, Chris Pine, Elizabeth Banks
Additional Tags: Banter, Workplace Relationship, Crack, Mentions of Taylor Swift, Based on a Taylor Swift Song, Dialogue Heavy, POV Female Character, mocking male celebrities for no reason
Summary: “Banks. Banks, I need help. Code Dick. Code Hair Plugs. Code I just had a sex dream about Chris Pine.”
“DO NOT TOUCH THAT DICK.”
Note from me: Another fugue state fog written the day of our deadline LOL DO ENJOY.
Between Yuleterrible and Yuletide I had some amazing motherfuckers gift me some amazing motherfucking stories. READ THEM. CELEBRATE THEM. What a goddamn flawlesss year.
YULETIDE
Io Saturnalia (4043 words) by linaerys
Fandom: Coriolanus - Shakespeare
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Tullus Aufidius/Caius Martius
Summary: Attius Tullus Aufidius tries to write his memoirs.
Excerpt: Here Tullus put down his pen many nights previous. He can set nothing more in words. Martius had few enough words when he lived. Now, long since dust, no words can capture him, draw him for future generations to build in their minds and admire. Even now, Tullus cannot help but mix his love with his hate, longing with his bitter gall.
Note from me: FUCKING READ THIS!!!!!!!!!!!
YULETERRIBLE
Sure, It's a Coffee Stain. (1169 words) by waldorph
Fandom: Folgers "Home for the Holidays" Commercial
Rating: Explicit
Additional Tags: Sibling Incest
Note from me: When this appeared in my inbox, A Thousand Years started playing in my heart and hasn't stopped since. THIS IS FRIENDSHIP.
The Last Of Us (1830 words) by gyzym
Fandom: The Lord of the Rings (Movies)
Rating: General Audiences
Relationships: Boromir & Faramir, Éowyn/Faramir
Characters: Boromir (son of Denethor II), Faramir, Denethor, Éowyn
Additional Tags: Rule 63
Summary: A promise, a letter, and a moment of recognition. (Rule!63 Boromir and Faramir. Warnings for canonical character death.)
Excerpt: “I shall promise to remain here, and be all right,” says Faramir slowly, “if you shall promise to return here, and be all right.”
On The Way To Something New (2316 words) by leupagus
Fandom: The Lord of the Rings (Movies), The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Boromir (son of Denethor II), Faramir, Thorongil
Additional Tags: Rule 63, Genderswap, Pre-Canon, Alternate Universe - Pre-Canon
Summary: “Faramir,” Boromir said as patiently as she could, “We’ve already decided-“
“You decided that my vote only counts as a half because I’m shorter than you,” Faramir argued.
“Well that’s just democracy,” she reasoned.
Note: AS YOU CAN SEE, I asked for Rule 63 Boromir and Faramir and now it's ALL I FUCKING WANT.
LANYON IS FUCKING WONDERFUL AND WROTE ME A RANDOM TFLN PROMPTED STORY AAAAHAHAHA
We could just stay in and save each other (1179 words) by lanyon
Fandom: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Captain America (Movies), Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Rating: Not Rated
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers
Characters: Peggy Carter, James "Bucky" Barnes, Steve Rogers, Sharon Carter, Antoine Triplett, Tony Stark, Clint Barton cameo
Additional Tags: AU: Peggy is a Winter Soldier, Cock-blocked, Established Relationship, Tripp lives
Summary: Peggy is upset at being stood up for a date. It takes Steve and Bucky a couple of days to figure out why.
Excerpt: “Steve showed up two hours late and Bucky didn’t show up at all because he was in Medical because he lost his arm.”
Antoine stares at her, in shock.
“The left one,” says Peggy, dismissively. “Stark can make him another.”
“Oh, good,” says Antoine. “That makes it okay.”
GIFT STORIES WRITTEN
And in return, I wrote three stories for Yuletide and three for Yuleterrible! BEHOLD.
YULETIDE
a little night murder (4867 words) by screamlet
Fandom: QI RPF, British Comedy RPF, Actor RPF, British Actor RPF
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Relationships: Victoria Coren/David Mitchell, Abigail Burdess/Robert Webb, Stephen Fry/Jack Whitehall
Characters: David Mitchell, Victoria Coren, Robert Webb, Stephen Fry, Jack Whitehall
Additional Tags: Christmas Party, Rants, Bickering, Banter, Dialogue Heavy
Summary: God help them, the (Coren) Mitchells and Webbs are hosting a party this year.
Excerpt: And when David finished yelling into the now-empty skull of Jack Whitehall, TOTAL FUCKHEAD, he took another breath and said:
“YES, WE WILL BE HOSTING A PARTY THIS YEAR. AT ROBERT’S HOUSE, AS THIS YEAR I WON’T HAVE TIME TO CONVERT OUR SEX TORTURE DUNGEON INTO A DICKENSIAN WONDERLAND FOR YOUR SHITTY PLEASURE, JACK. HERE’S TO 2015, YOU WALKING, BLISTERING RECTUM.”
Note from me: Ummmmmm in case you can't tell, I loved writing this story. I loved it SO MUCH.
around the world in 80 beds (3988 words) by screamlet
Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF, Captain America (Movies) RPF, Actor RPF
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Relationships: Chris Evans/Sebastian Stan
Characters: Chris Evans, Sebastian Stan, Scarlett Johansson, Anthony Mackie, Tom Hiddleston
Additional Tags: Travel, Touring, Dialogue Heavy, Reverse Chronology, First Time, Storytelling, Long-Distance Relationship, 5 Times
Summary: It started with Tom choosing his karaoke song.
Well, no, it started before that. It started in New York.
Actually, it started even before that.
Excerpt: The night ended after Scarlett brought down their tiny private room-house with a rendition of “American Pie” that she stretched out into 12 excruciating minutes by tapping into a ley line that connected straight to hell. Her lyrics took a dark turn into the truth about Channing Tatum and his quest for the still-beating hearts of men.
Note from me: I promised lanyon eons ago, maybe a whole entire year ago, that one day I would write her Evans/Sebstan, and I FINALLY fucking did it, writing this in a fugue state. The scene at the train station might be one of my favorite things?? IF I AM ALLOWED TO CHOOSE FAVORITES.
a way up (1050 words) by screamlet
Fandom: Only Lovers Left Alive (2013)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Adam (Only Lovers Left Alive)/Eve (Only Lovers Left Alive)
Additional Tags: Post-Canon, Immortals in Space, Space Flight, Vampires, VAMPIRES IN SPACE
Summary: It takes a while before space becomes a viable travel destination.
Adam spends that time wondering about the sun.
Excerpt: She closes her eyes to think on the richness of space, the vast emptiness where a sound could travel for years without being heard.
“Just once,” Eve says. “I would like to see it all just once.”
Note from me: I wrote this in like, two hours the Saturday before the archive opened, on a whim, bc the prompt was so good! "These super intelligent and stylish vampires are going to live forever! WHAT IF THEY GO TO SPACE?" Ugh, not letting that premise go anytime soon.
YULETERRIBLE
Dwarf-Elf Relations at the Close of the Third Age (7030 words) by screamlet
Fandom: The Hobbit (Jackson movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Rating: General Audiences
Relationships: Kíli/Tauriel
Characters: Kíli, Tauriel, Fíli, Dís, Thorin Oakenshield, Bilbo Baggins, Thorin's Company
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Weddings, Drinking Games, Female Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield, Banter, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Post-Battle of Five Armies, Fix-It
Excerpt: “Legolas has had word from his father today. Well. He told me today, I can only assume he had it today.”
“How is the Lord of Robes Aplenty?” Kíli asked. “You never did tell me where he found a battle elk. Rams are one thing, but that elk. Really.”
Note from me: The ONE RULE we have for Yuleterrible, I mean the ONE RULE (because of me) is that NO ONE DIES. So, everyone lives! And there's a WEDDING! And a DRINKING CONTEST!
it's family time (6080 words) by screamlet
Fandom: Girl Meets World, Boy Meets World
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Shawn Hunter/Cory Matthews/Topanga Lawrence
Characters: Maya Hart, Eric Matthews (Boy Meets World), Riley Matthews
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Polyamory, Adoption
Excerpt: “All anyone would have to pay are maintenance fees and utilities,” Cory said.
Shawn nodded and continued the tour through the rooms (already furnished).
“And it’s not haunted,” Cory said, “Unless the kids ask and then yes, it’s haunted. One of the ghosts is named Grandma Ruth, who died of loneliness when her grandkids didn’t send thank you notes.”
“Nice touch,” Shawn said.
Note from me: The story behind this story I wrote for waldorph will always be that she CALLED ME as she was READING IT to shriek and cry into the phone, sooooooooo bye
a very on-brand holiday (1754 words) by screamlet
Fandom: Actor RPF, Into the Woods (2014) RPF
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Anna Kendrick, Chris Pine, Elizabeth Banks
Additional Tags: Banter, Workplace Relationship, Crack, Mentions of Taylor Swift, Based on a Taylor Swift Song, Dialogue Heavy, POV Female Character, mocking male celebrities for no reason
Summary: “Banks. Banks, I need help. Code Dick. Code Hair Plugs. Code I just had a sex dream about Chris Pine.”
“DO NOT TOUCH THAT DICK.”
Note from me: Another fugue state fog written the day of our deadline LOL DO ENJOY.