x the empty apartment x

[scratchxmexout]

choking on nothing. wishing for something; anything. i'm so afraid of everything. i'm so afraid of you [all of you] because you don't know me & i don't know you. why do you intimidate me? i really wish i thought i was worth your glance. i really wish i thought i was allowed to walk the earth the same way you do. with your gorgeous hair, your beautiful eyes, your flawless skin, your perfect clothes. i'm not like you & i will probably never be. i'm sorry i don't know how it feels to be normal. i wish i didn't know the things i do. i wish i was naive, perfect, beautiful like the rest of you.

i'm so sick of myself. my writing. my mind. please....get me out of this head. get me out of this town. i'm suffocating.

hows your life, what's it like there?
is it all what you want it to be?
does it hurt when you think about me?
and how broken my heart is.

** my favorite song of the moment **
Lying soaked in sweat tonight
Your knuckles white, you try to fight....
The need for more to get you by
You've had enough you wonder why...
Even now your body cries
for chemicals to blind your eyes
Wonder can you stay this high
when the cells begin to die forever

Crush it up crush it up
Take it down take it down
Smash it up smash it up
Falling down

Swallowed like the medicine
that's broken down my happy friend
Wonder if he'll let me in
if I come to see him when he's better

There's power
in the powder
dissolving in your guts

I'm falling
I'm falling
I'm falling
I'm falling down