(no subject)
I'm desperately trying to gain control of my life back. It's been a mess too long. I can't believe there are so many one year anniversaries coming up. I'm afraid to say that this will be a very hard time for me. I try so hard to keep my head. My dearest friend I have called me one of the strongest people she knows. I want to believe it, but inside, I feel like I'm just a piece of rock crumbling away. Slowly eroding.
Work is hard. I can keep going. And work isn't the end of it. I guess I want a good job, that's what I'm actively searching for now. No one contacts you back though... I suppose patience is what I have to remember too.
It's like I'm constantly going towards this giant black hole but I've got one hand holding onto the ledge and my feet are dangling from the force of it all. I haven't let go. I won't. I don't want to. I just wish I could have more motivation to force myself out of this dead end tunnel.
Anyway. It's time for sleep. I'm so exhausted but I continue to stay awake. I think I prefer the stillness of being alone, listening to the rain on the rooftop.
Till another day...
Work is hard. I can keep going. And work isn't the end of it. I guess I want a good job, that's what I'm actively searching for now. No one contacts you back though... I suppose patience is what I have to remember too.
It's like I'm constantly going towards this giant black hole but I've got one hand holding onto the ledge and my feet are dangling from the force of it all. I haven't let go. I won't. I don't want to. I just wish I could have more motivation to force myself out of this dead end tunnel.
Anyway. It's time for sleep. I'm so exhausted but I continue to stay awake. I think I prefer the stillness of being alone, listening to the rain on the rooftop.
Till another day...