Updates are long overdue
It has been an age since I last posted here. Livejournal has been replaced by the more succinct Facebook and the Newspeak-like world of Twitter. Words, my friends, are important. In their infinite variety they help us express our ideas and understand our world with their broad strokes and nuanced minutiae. Ahh words…I revel in words. Then again, I revel in many things. Lately I have reveled in food, dance and the company of good people. Since my last entry, my engagement has been shattered and I have taken stock of myself in a phase of singledom. Dre is an amazing woman and, I thought, my ideal partner, but as it turns out, my happiness with her required certain constraints on me that eventually needed either resolution together or the dissolution of us. The latter occurred and I have spent these many months finding lost regions of me. So many things are yet uncertain: Dad’s Cancer is back, although he seems to miraculously fight it; I want to join Dave and Patrick in Baltimore, yet it cannot happen right now; my own health is so tumultuous that I spend much of my time alone simply trying to control the spinning of the world and the vice-like pain that causes in my head…
And yet, there is happiness in my daily life. I live alone again and have a wonderful neighbor whose kids I have the pleasure of bonding with. I can devote my kitchen time and space to the kinds of foods I truly enjoy. I have reclaimed my body, bringing my weight back to where it belongs. I have fought vertigo to dance. Dizzy, though I may be…I do love to dance. I fight the vertigo actively (no longer with drugs, but by playing guitar). I have loved and lost. I have reminded myself that I am (on some level) a scoundrel and have taken the roads that I want to take.
Speaking of roads….I drive now. I had my first accident and walked away alright. I now own a wonderful car and adore driving it. So many changes…too many to even begin to explain. All things considered, I am reasonably content. There is Light.
And yet, there is happiness in my daily life. I live alone again and have a wonderful neighbor whose kids I have the pleasure of bonding with. I can devote my kitchen time and space to the kinds of foods I truly enjoy. I have reclaimed my body, bringing my weight back to where it belongs. I have fought vertigo to dance. Dizzy, though I may be…I do love to dance. I fight the vertigo actively (no longer with drugs, but by playing guitar). I have loved and lost. I have reminded myself that I am (on some level) a scoundrel and have taken the roads that I want to take.
Speaking of roads….I drive now. I had my first accident and walked away alright. I now own a wonderful car and adore driving it. So many changes…too many to even begin to explain. All things considered, I am reasonably content. There is Light.