"This is such a tease!...."
Warning: This entry is long to the EXTREME, please allow yourself an extra block of time to waste reading this journal. Thank you.
It's been quite some time since I last posted, my sincerest apologies to my fans. There has been a buttload of things that have happened since we last chatted, I know you're dying to know what I've done with my incredibly exciting life the past month, but you'll have to wait until I get through the first couple orders of business. Firstly, congratulations to Bobby Lu and Lu on getting engaged. I was quite shocked to discover this tidbit of information, considering the fact that even Bobby had a piece of action on the "Bobby's Future Pool" (I had "will have 5 illegitimate children" {which is still a possibility} and Bobby had "always a bridesmaid, never a bride"). All joking aside, congratulations and good luck Bobby. You've found a good girl and I can tell you're happy; it couldn't have worked out better for you. You definitely deserve it (sheds tear {not really but it makes me seem sensitive}). This "engagement" thing seems like it's been going around like the plague (and not in a good way), everywhere I look someone else I know is getting engaged like...I don't have any other examples as of yet, but it sure does seem like it. Secondly, Burkity-Burkenstock is back from Iraq (Burke was Steve & D's next-door-neighbor at Riverpointe). He's back and had some ridiculous stories to tell. I've determined that he has a "horseshoe covered with Lucky Charms with an attached rabbit's foot" up his ass (not that I personally discovered it {who knows what really went on during those club hockey parties}, but he's incredibly lucky (it's called a metaphor}). It's great to see him alive and well, especially considering everything he went through in Iraq and the US. Thirdly, I've found an amazing addictive game on the internet that I'm about to share with you. It was brought to my attention by my lovely girlfriend. It's called the "Pilsner Strip Game" it's not what you think, girls get naked not the beers. I'll give you the link and offer the challenge, if you can beat my score you will gain extra points in my book. Warning this game contains nudity and is highly addictive regardless or not if you are attracted to the women taking off their clothes. My girlfriend maybe more addicted than I am (which I can honestly say is a bit of a turn-on). "that's such a tease, she's not even taking any clothes off!" & "I used to spend hours trying to get their clothes off" were a couple of my favorite quotes of the night.
The first image is a demonstration of the game and the image on the right is my personal high score 12,300 (I censored their breastesses, if you want to see them you have to do the work). Beat that bitches! By the way I now have 2 people that say I'm cool, my mom and this half-naked-simulated-girl...
Wow, that was a crazy introduction, I apologize about the filler. Feel free to use the restrooms before you continue on. I'll wait......
Shortly after classes had ended (don't worry I'm still attending college, they didn't drive me out with pitchforks....yet) I decided it was time to bring Niki to meet my parents. For the trip we split room on my iPod and prepared a roadtrip mp3 playlist to end all roadtrip playlists (I think I forgot to send Niki that memo because half the list definitely brought the other half down [Look at this music Meatloaf? Starland Vocal Band? Michael Bolton? now look at her music....]). The trip went surprisingly fast but with a few more casualties than normal. I was hanging my arm out the window when WHAP! (sorry I can't quite afford good sound effects yet). The juices from a bug oozing on my palm. There was no solid evidence of a bug, just its bladder exploding as the bug was caught off-guard.
Hand: BOO!
Bug: AWWW, you scared the hell out of me. See what you made me do? (sigh) That's going to take forever to get out.
Hand: I've got a joke for you. What did the 5 fingers say to the face? SLAP!
Niki's first encounter of my parents went well (they didn't chase her out of town with flaming-pitchforks so I'm assuming it went well). I think they made it easier for her by stashing the mounted-heads of my exes in the basement. We didn't anything that exciting, just hung out and had some kick-ass homecooked meals. It was Niki's first experience with Frolfing though. She did alright for the first time out, but let's just say she's not joining the PDGA (Professional Disc Golf Association, and yes it actually does exist) circuit anytime soon. Although she didn't impress me all that much on the course, she thoroughly impressed me during the Grand Masters of Funk challenge (after a round of Frolf we made a competition to "chip" into a basket from an average distance, being the first to sink it bestows upon you the title of "Grand Master of Funk"). She made her first shot, the first and only time ever recorded in the challenge. Later on during the week the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (Greggy & me) joined forces against Niki in a extreme game of croquet. We didn't start out helping each other, but since we realized she was kicking our asses before the end of the first shot we knew we had to join forces against a common enemy. It was pretty ingenious we thought, I sent my brother closer to her and the next turn he sent her. We were maniacally laughing the whole time and somehow distracted us enough to lose to her in the last turn. I'm not proud to say it but she beat me. Overall we both ended up 2-2, she won all of the multiple opponent game and I won all of the head-to-head games (I had to win at some point and regain what little dignity I had left). The rest of our trip was filled with playing with the new kitten (who looks a lot like me I'm told, must be the sideburns).
We returned home for a couple of days and for Niki's birthday we decided to go to a Bison's game. Joe had previously mentioned this "Labatt Blue Zone" where for $20 you get 2 free drinks, unlimited snacks, cheaper beer prices and a bar in your section. I don't think anyone was paying that much attention to the game, we were discussing the normal stuff like zebras and lions and their strategies. I was impressed that Mike, Steve and Bobb-O (not to be confused with Bobby [pronounced like Jell-O, but in Bobby form]) all gave Niki a gift for her B-Day (Curse those handsome devils trying to upstage me!). Mike caught a T-Shirt being launched into the crowd for her, Steve caught a stuffed-fish (not the food, a teddybear typed stuffed) with a dinner coupon and Bobb-o gave the wonderful gift of his ass as he mooned us going back to Niki's apartment. When we arrived at back at Niki's apartment we set records for some of the longest, most boring beer-pong games ever. It might have been the fact that the cups weren't regulation PBPL (National Beer Pong League and yes it does exist).
Her birthday weekend we went back to Rochester and I experienced one of the many delicacies of the area. The Garbage Plate or "Plate" as the natives call it (kinda like no one from WNY calls them Buffalo Wings, they're known as wings). Basically it's a fast-food joint with all of the food and condiments piled on top of each other. For instance a hamburger plate consists of home-fries, 2 burgers and condiments (the hot sauce is actually mixed in with ground beef for an extraspecial meatiterian surprise). They were groin-grabbingly transcendent. I'm told it's Rochester's answer to Mighty or Colaso Taco, trust me they're worth a try.
Shortly after that trip Bridge, Joe, Niki and I decided to go see a movie. Joe's pick: Madagascar. I got out of work @11 and I rushed to get ready. When Joe came to us up I was carrying Niki's purse while cramming our smuggled-movie-snacks.
Joe: Nice Purse!
D: It's European!
Joe: Let's go to Madagascar! Yippy-Skippy!
D: (Decided there was no reason to insult back to continue this conversation).
The movie was alright, I've seen much better and much worse, but it was still a good time. On the way back from the Transit Regal Theatres we took the Thruway back to Amherst, but there was a sobriety checkput right before the tollboth. We were lucky that this was the first time Joe had driven sober in awhile.
Cop: Hello folks, you have anything to drink tonight?
Joe: Nope
Cop: Where are you coming from?
Joe: The movies
Cop: Oh, what did you see
Joe: (Chuckles) Madagascar
Cop: (Look of disgust) How was it?
Joe: Alright, not as good as I expected. I was hoping it would be more like Shrek
Cop: It's obvious that you didn't drink, but I think you'd been better off saying you'd been drinking instead of readily admitting you'd just seen Madagascar.
Joe: Thanks for the advice...
More to come very soon...
It's been quite some time since I last posted, my sincerest apologies to my fans. There has been a buttload of things that have happened since we last chatted, I know you're dying to know what I've done with my incredibly exciting life the past month, but you'll have to wait until I get through the first couple orders of business. Firstly, congratulations to Bobby Lu and Lu on getting engaged. I was quite shocked to discover this tidbit of information, considering the fact that even Bobby had a piece of action on the "Bobby's Future Pool" (I had "will have 5 illegitimate children" {which is still a possibility} and Bobby had "always a bridesmaid, never a bride"). All joking aside, congratulations and good luck Bobby. You've found a good girl and I can tell you're happy; it couldn't have worked out better for you. You definitely deserve it (sheds tear {not really but it makes me seem sensitive}). This "engagement" thing seems like it's been going around like the plague (and not in a good way), everywhere I look someone else I know is getting engaged like...I don't have any other examples as of yet, but it sure does seem like it. Secondly, Burkity-Burkenstock is back from Iraq (Burke was Steve & D's next-door-neighbor at Riverpointe). He's back and had some ridiculous stories to tell. I've determined that he has a "horseshoe covered with Lucky Charms with an attached rabbit's foot" up his ass (not that I personally discovered it {who knows what really went on during those club hockey parties}, but he's incredibly lucky (it's called a metaphor}). It's great to see him alive and well, especially considering everything he went through in Iraq and the US. Thirdly, I've found an amazing addictive game on the internet that I'm about to share with you. It was brought to my attention by my lovely girlfriend. It's called the "Pilsner Strip Game" it's not what you think, girls get naked not the beers. I'll give you the link and offer the challenge, if you can beat my score you will gain extra points in my book. Warning this game contains nudity and is highly addictive regardless or not if you are attracted to the women taking off their clothes. My girlfriend maybe more addicted than I am (which I can honestly say is a bit of a turn-on). "that's such a tease, she's not even taking any clothes off!" & "I used to spend hours trying to get their clothes off" were a couple of my favorite quotes of the night.
The first image is a demonstration of the game and the image on the right is my personal high score 12,300 (I censored their breastesses, if you want to see them you have to do the work). Beat that bitches! By the way I now have 2 people that say I'm cool, my mom and this half-naked-simulated-girl...
Wow, that was a crazy introduction, I apologize about the filler. Feel free to use the restrooms before you continue on. I'll wait......
Shortly after classes had ended (don't worry I'm still attending college, they didn't drive me out with pitchforks....yet) I decided it was time to bring Niki to meet my parents. For the trip we split room on my iPod and prepared a roadtrip mp3 playlist to end all roadtrip playlists (I think I forgot to send Niki that memo because half the list definitely brought the other half down [Look at this music Meatloaf? Starland Vocal Band? Michael Bolton? now look at her music....]). The trip went surprisingly fast but with a few more casualties than normal. I was hanging my arm out the window when WHAP! (sorry I can't quite afford good sound effects yet). The juices from a bug oozing on my palm. There was no solid evidence of a bug, just its bladder exploding as the bug was caught off-guard.
Hand: BOO!
Bug: AWWW, you scared the hell out of me. See what you made me do? (sigh) That's going to take forever to get out.
Hand: I've got a joke for you. What did the 5 fingers say to the face? SLAP!
Niki's first encounter of my parents went well (they didn't chase her out of town with flaming-pitchforks so I'm assuming it went well). I think they made it easier for her by stashing the mounted-heads of my exes in the basement. We didn't anything that exciting, just hung out and had some kick-ass homecooked meals. It was Niki's first experience with Frolfing though. She did alright for the first time out, but let's just say she's not joining the PDGA (Professional Disc Golf Association, and yes it actually does exist) circuit anytime soon. Although she didn't impress me all that much on the course, she thoroughly impressed me during the Grand Masters of Funk challenge (after a round of Frolf we made a competition to "chip" into a basket from an average distance, being the first to sink it bestows upon you the title of "Grand Master of Funk"). She made her first shot, the first and only time ever recorded in the challenge. Later on during the week the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (Greggy & me) joined forces against Niki in a extreme game of croquet. We didn't start out helping each other, but since we realized she was kicking our asses before the end of the first shot we knew we had to join forces against a common enemy. It was pretty ingenious we thought, I sent my brother closer to her and the next turn he sent her. We were maniacally laughing the whole time and somehow distracted us enough to lose to her in the last turn. I'm not proud to say it but she beat me. Overall we both ended up 2-2, she won all of the multiple opponent game and I won all of the head-to-head games (I had to win at some point and regain what little dignity I had left). The rest of our trip was filled with playing with the new kitten (who looks a lot like me I'm told, must be the sideburns).
We returned home for a couple of days and for Niki's birthday we decided to go to a Bison's game. Joe had previously mentioned this "Labatt Blue Zone" where for $20 you get 2 free drinks, unlimited snacks, cheaper beer prices and a bar in your section. I don't think anyone was paying that much attention to the game, we were discussing the normal stuff like zebras and lions and their strategies. I was impressed that Mike, Steve and Bobb-O (not to be confused with Bobby [pronounced like Jell-O, but in Bobby form]) all gave Niki a gift for her B-Day (Curse those handsome devils trying to upstage me!). Mike caught a T-Shirt being launched into the crowd for her, Steve caught a stuffed-fish (not the food, a teddybear typed stuffed) with a dinner coupon and Bobb-o gave the wonderful gift of his ass as he mooned us going back to Niki's apartment. When we arrived at back at Niki's apartment we set records for some of the longest, most boring beer-pong games ever. It might have been the fact that the cups weren't regulation PBPL (National Beer Pong League and yes it does exist).
Her birthday weekend we went back to Rochester and I experienced one of the many delicacies of the area. The Garbage Plate or "Plate" as the natives call it (kinda like no one from WNY calls them Buffalo Wings, they're known as wings). Basically it's a fast-food joint with all of the food and condiments piled on top of each other. For instance a hamburger plate consists of home-fries, 2 burgers and condiments (the hot sauce is actually mixed in with ground beef for an extraspecial meatiterian surprise). They were groin-grabbingly transcendent. I'm told it's Rochester's answer to Mighty or Colaso Taco, trust me they're worth a try.
Shortly after that trip Bridge, Joe, Niki and I decided to go see a movie. Joe's pick: Madagascar. I got out of work @11 and I rushed to get ready. When Joe came to us up I was carrying Niki's purse while cramming our smuggled-movie-snacks.
Joe: Nice Purse!
D: It's European!
Joe: Let's go to Madagascar! Yippy-Skippy!
D: (Decided there was no reason to insult back to continue this conversation).
The movie was alright, I've seen much better and much worse, but it was still a good time. On the way back from the Transit Regal Theatres we took the Thruway back to Amherst, but there was a sobriety checkput right before the tollboth. We were lucky that this was the first time Joe had driven sober in awhile.
Cop: Hello folks, you have anything to drink tonight?
Joe: Nope
Cop: Where are you coming from?
Joe: The movies
Cop: Oh, what did you see
Joe: (Chuckles) Madagascar
Cop: (Look of disgust) How was it?
Joe: Alright, not as good as I expected. I was hoping it would be more like Shrek
Cop: It's obvious that you didn't drink, but I think you'd been better off saying you'd been drinking instead of readily admitting you'd just seen Madagascar.
Joe: Thanks for the advice...
More to come very soon...