(no subject)
I feel kind of weird these days. I'm calmer than I have been in a long time, and in a better mood. My favorite movie of late has been Pleasantville. It's not a movie that apeals to all, but I feel completely in touch with what the filmakers are trying to say in a way I'm not in touch with most movies. I bought a cell phone, but so far only three people have bothered to get my number (tear), and only two have called me on the thing. Then again, I've only really called those three people recently too, so if there's anyone to blame for my suddenly less-than-booming social life, it's me (and the return of high school).
Anyways, I feel like I've arrived at a cross roads point. My transtition period from high school life to young adult/college life seems to be nearly complete, the only big step left (and it is a very big step for me, I will admit) is moving out of the house. But I don't have to worry about that right at the moment, seeing as my financial situation would not allow for such a step to take place. I'm starting my major finally this semester (theater), and hopefully that'll consume most of my time this semester. If not, I should get a better job and start putting away some real money for the road ahead. At any point, I'll see where I am come winter break and decide where to go from there.
I'm tired of being a loser. I'm tired of having all the free time in the world and being too scared/lazy/broke to do anything about it. A real job would probably be the best thing for me, but I can't decide what on earth I want to do. I'm already sick of customer service, and watching clerks doesn't make me want a job like that so much. I wish I could get paid to make movies or something. I suppose I could, but that requires breaking in, and I'm affraid of just about everyone on the planet, which makes the prospect of getting funding for a movie and pitching it and all that good stuff almost ridiculously unatainable. Hopefully I can work some of this out with a therapist, but there's only so much a person can do to help, in the end it's me that's gotta make the changes. I don't know how...l....
Anyways, I feel like I've arrived at a cross roads point. My transtition period from high school life to young adult/college life seems to be nearly complete, the only big step left (and it is a very big step for me, I will admit) is moving out of the house. But I don't have to worry about that right at the moment, seeing as my financial situation would not allow for such a step to take place. I'm starting my major finally this semester (theater), and hopefully that'll consume most of my time this semester. If not, I should get a better job and start putting away some real money for the road ahead. At any point, I'll see where I am come winter break and decide where to go from there.
I'm tired of being a loser. I'm tired of having all the free time in the world and being too scared/lazy/broke to do anything about it. A real job would probably be the best thing for me, but I can't decide what on earth I want to do. I'm already sick of customer service, and watching clerks doesn't make me want a job like that so much. I wish I could get paid to make movies or something. I suppose I could, but that requires breaking in, and I'm affraid of just about everyone on the planet, which makes the prospect of getting funding for a movie and pitching it and all that good stuff almost ridiculously unatainable. Hopefully I can work some of this out with a therapist, but there's only so much a person can do to help, in the end it's me that's gotta make the changes. I don't know how...l....