Arts Festival 2010
A weekend full of poetry...and other assorted madnesses.
Saturday I worked all day then had to book over to the Arts Festival for my feature, only to find it rained out. Once the rain passed I got to squeeze in some of the feature, but my heart wasn't in it at that point and I didn't know it was being cut short. I was tired, wet, hungry and had just got off a job I hate. Audience was light, naturally, considering God had just flushed the city down the curb. I went ahead and did the two poems I'd spent all day trying to write while at work, which is never easy. The shorter piece - which is a better idea than a poem right now - is called "Credit". It's a turn of phrase piece on being a credit to one's race, as opposed to other things one could be (the poem supposes).
I did another one I felt much stronger about, called "Method Man". This one came to me as a form rather than a poem so I tried the experiemnt of it and it worked...I got a poem out of the form that I liked. It was full of big words, was long and rather ludicrous...like me! The poem has about 3 lines about rapper Method Man and two pages of material about how to kill Kanye West with a corndog stick and hand lotion (if it comes to that). The crowd was polite in any event, so I wrapped it up, got a Polish Sausage, a corn dog, and a folding chair, content to watch the rest of the poets' features. Enjoyed most of the poetry and all of the food.
I was slated to participate in the slam that night being run by Tyrone and Teri, and pretty much knew what I would lead with: "The Gospel According to the Matrix". I needed something to wake me up after a long, wet day. I did a rendition of this that had me leave the stage altogether, pacing the crowd like a revivalist preacher, yelling at the world and handling people in the crowd. I just said, "Dude, it's the Arts Festival. Have fun." That was pretty awesome.
Me preaching.
In the second round I decided to read "Method Man" AGAIN. Fuck you; no one from the slam was there at 5:30, and I still liked it enough to want to see how a real crowd might respond to it. Turns out my instincts were correct: the poem was funny as hell and I got a 30. I also got the biggest time penalty in the history of Columbus slams...6 points. Like I care. Good lord, it's the ARTS FESTIVAL SLAM. That's not a real slam! It's like trying to score with a sex doll that isn't even anatomically correct. You don't try to WIN an Arts Festuival slam...you try to make the audience have a good time, and guess what: they've been watching poets stand in front of a microphone all day. Mix it up!
All I can say is Burt's Bees owes me some money or some shampoo bars. "Method Man" is basically a lotion commercial wrapped in free-flowing violence.
(Don't ask. Just know that it is lovely in all the wrong ways.)
Today I returned to the scene of the gospel crime that was the "Matrix" poem and the unfolding mystery of the missing 6 slam points from the night before to MC the 9-round Decathlon Slam. (Not doing 10 rounds lets me make the jokes about poets not being able to count. Jokes are greater than math.) Unlike previous efforts, I had the teams picked before the show by about four days. Vernell Bristow and Ed Plunkett basically had a secret draft, then a public draft when things got tight. To make matters even more hilarious, I put together a top-secret duo-squad of Rachel Wiley and Ethan Rivera as The Wonder Twins Team (only unveiled on the spot!) and they had to do all of the rounds that the other teams were doing with five poets.
This was a lot of fun, and the crowd was really into it. The highlight for me was Izetta doing a Shel Silverstein poem as Whitney Houston...NOW. Oh my god, the hilarity that ensued. There was Crazy String, my patented dozens round, and all sorts of goodies in the Decathlon, and I hope the Arts Festival folks get the message for next year.
Vernell's Vixens got blasted, son.
Very tired, but found the strength to do another "track" tonight. I'll post it in the morning when more people will see it. It's a rap song (another!) about poets based on the song linked below. I will eventually get back to my new video game, Red Dead Redemption, because it is completely awesome, probably tomorrow after work.
I'm tired.
Saturday I worked all day then had to book over to the Arts Festival for my feature, only to find it rained out. Once the rain passed I got to squeeze in some of the feature, but my heart wasn't in it at that point and I didn't know it was being cut short. I was tired, wet, hungry and had just got off a job I hate. Audience was light, naturally, considering God had just flushed the city down the curb. I went ahead and did the two poems I'd spent all day trying to write while at work, which is never easy. The shorter piece - which is a better idea than a poem right now - is called "Credit". It's a turn of phrase piece on being a credit to one's race, as opposed to other things one could be (the poem supposes).
I did another one I felt much stronger about, called "Method Man". This one came to me as a form rather than a poem so I tried the experiemnt of it and it worked...I got a poem out of the form that I liked. It was full of big words, was long and rather ludicrous...like me! The poem has about 3 lines about rapper Method Man and two pages of material about how to kill Kanye West with a corndog stick and hand lotion (if it comes to that). The crowd was polite in any event, so I wrapped it up, got a Polish Sausage, a corn dog, and a folding chair, content to watch the rest of the poets' features. Enjoyed most of the poetry and all of the food.
I was slated to participate in the slam that night being run by Tyrone and Teri, and pretty much knew what I would lead with: "The Gospel According to the Matrix". I needed something to wake me up after a long, wet day. I did a rendition of this that had me leave the stage altogether, pacing the crowd like a revivalist preacher, yelling at the world and handling people in the crowd. I just said, "Dude, it's the Arts Festival. Have fun." That was pretty awesome.
Me preaching.
In the second round I decided to read "Method Man" AGAIN. Fuck you; no one from the slam was there at 5:30, and I still liked it enough to want to see how a real crowd might respond to it. Turns out my instincts were correct: the poem was funny as hell and I got a 30. I also got the biggest time penalty in the history of Columbus slams...6 points. Like I care. Good lord, it's the ARTS FESTIVAL SLAM. That's not a real slam! It's like trying to score with a sex doll that isn't even anatomically correct. You don't try to WIN an Arts Festuival slam...you try to make the audience have a good time, and guess what: they've been watching poets stand in front of a microphone all day. Mix it up!
All I can say is Burt's Bees owes me some money or some shampoo bars. "Method Man" is basically a lotion commercial wrapped in free-flowing violence.
(Don't ask. Just know that it is lovely in all the wrong ways.)
Today I returned to the scene of the gospel crime that was the "Matrix" poem and the unfolding mystery of the missing 6 slam points from the night before to MC the 9-round Decathlon Slam. (Not doing 10 rounds lets me make the jokes about poets not being able to count. Jokes are greater than math.) Unlike previous efforts, I had the teams picked before the show by about four days. Vernell Bristow and Ed Plunkett basically had a secret draft, then a public draft when things got tight. To make matters even more hilarious, I put together a top-secret duo-squad of Rachel Wiley and Ethan Rivera as The Wonder Twins Team (only unveiled on the spot!) and they had to do all of the rounds that the other teams were doing with five poets.
This was a lot of fun, and the crowd was really into it. The highlight for me was Izetta doing a Shel Silverstein poem as Whitney Houston...NOW. Oh my god, the hilarity that ensued. There was Crazy String, my patented dozens round, and all sorts of goodies in the Decathlon, and I hope the Arts Festival folks get the message for next year.
Vernell's Vixens got blasted, son.
Very tired, but found the strength to do another "track" tonight. I'll post it in the morning when more people will see it. It's a rap song (another!) about poets based on the song linked below. I will eventually get back to my new video game, Red Dead Redemption, because it is completely awesome, probably tomorrow after work.
I'm tired.
Click to view