The Last Poetry Feature You'll Ever Give
(This is all going to sound more morbid than I intend. Really, it’s quite celebratory.)
Barring suicide or an act of the state, there would be a number of cool things about knowing when you would die.
You could say goodbye to all of the people you want in the way that you want. You could get away with a lot of stuff, like stiffing bills. You could stop buying certain things (like clothes) and start spending your money on here-and-now stuff that will enhance the quality of what life you have left (like Cajun food or festival barbecue or circus popcorn or every pizza in town).
One of the obvious things that would appeal to me the most under such a circumstance would be to do a really awesome feature. It's the feature as the poet you will go down in the books as, the last set of poems you'll ever read. There were moments during a couple of 24-hour poetry features when I feared I might just be doing that, so I picked good poems that hour. But seriously, you could sit down and plot what poems you would do, what things you wanted to say before you go and compose those messages specifically, and really throw yourself into the reading in a way you don't when you got 20 minutes at the local poetry show.
(This is the part where someone jumps in and goes, "I ALWAYS perform like it might be my last." Yeah, I'm going to go ahead and call bullshit on that one so that you don't even have to bother posting. You may perform like you won't get another chance at a gig, but you ain't performing like you are gonna DIE when you're done performing. I can think of maybe one or two cats that might or might have been true of, and it is very unlikely that if you are reading this that you are one of them.)
A two-hour set would be best I think, with an intermission in the middle. I think you'd need a little break in the middle of your last feature to collect yourself, to gauge if the next batch of poems is the way you want to go out. I'd mix it up with old and new work. I'd try to squeeze in as many poems as possible without compromising their performances. Now's not the time to sound desperate. You know what's happening and you know when the venue closes, so what's the rush?
I'd wear something flattering. People are going to be taking pictures of me, and I might cry. I'm cute when I cry, but you still don't want to see it and I sure as heck don't want a picture of it going down in the books. It'd be like having a picture of Bukowski bent over a toilet after a bender. I'd rather remember him on the couch with a bottle of wine and a cigarette. So I'd wear something flattering, probably black with blue jeans. My uniform. Maybe boots this time, but not new ones. I don't want to wear anything new.
I'd try to memorize one poem. Just one. Has nothing to do with ego. I just want to do one when I say exactly what I mean and look at everyone directly for every moment of it. I don't want to have to sell that poem; I want to be that poem, that one final poem. I'd make it the last poem of the night. I don't think you should have to read your prayers.
I’d have a book done up for sale, but all of the money would go toward funeral expenses. I’d have all of the poems I read that night in it of course. Why hold on to them? I’d also have all of my poetry there for people to peruse, all the notebooks, all the papers, all of the scribbled notes. Not giving it away or anything - that stuff is already willed out - but part of sharing poetry for me is sharing the process. A feature only gives you a piece of the puzzle with any poet. I want all of my poetry pieces out there.
I don't know what I'd read. I don't even want to speculate as a "non-dying" person. I think that kind of clarity only comes to you properly when you're faced with it. Sure, you could name a poem or two that you know you'd HAVE to read, but I'm not that cat. I don't really possess "HAVE TO" poems. I've got too many and rotate their sharing too frequently to be married to them like that.
And then, when it’s all said and done, I’ll say goodbye to everyone who came and go die. That’s a good way to die, if you have the option. I don’t know that I want the option, but if I had the chance to know, that would be a good way to go, poetry-wise.
Not that I’m looking to do that show, mind you.
Barring suicide or an act of the state, there would be a number of cool things about knowing when you would die.
You could say goodbye to all of the people you want in the way that you want. You could get away with a lot of stuff, like stiffing bills. You could stop buying certain things (like clothes) and start spending your money on here-and-now stuff that will enhance the quality of what life you have left (like Cajun food or festival barbecue or circus popcorn or every pizza in town).
One of the obvious things that would appeal to me the most under such a circumstance would be to do a really awesome feature. It's the feature as the poet you will go down in the books as, the last set of poems you'll ever read. There were moments during a couple of 24-hour poetry features when I feared I might just be doing that, so I picked good poems that hour. But seriously, you could sit down and plot what poems you would do, what things you wanted to say before you go and compose those messages specifically, and really throw yourself into the reading in a way you don't when you got 20 minutes at the local poetry show.
(This is the part where someone jumps in and goes, "I ALWAYS perform like it might be my last." Yeah, I'm going to go ahead and call bullshit on that one so that you don't even have to bother posting. You may perform like you won't get another chance at a gig, but you ain't performing like you are gonna DIE when you're done performing. I can think of maybe one or two cats that might or might have been true of, and it is very unlikely that if you are reading this that you are one of them.)
A two-hour set would be best I think, with an intermission in the middle. I think you'd need a little break in the middle of your last feature to collect yourself, to gauge if the next batch of poems is the way you want to go out. I'd mix it up with old and new work. I'd try to squeeze in as many poems as possible without compromising their performances. Now's not the time to sound desperate. You know what's happening and you know when the venue closes, so what's the rush?
I'd wear something flattering. People are going to be taking pictures of me, and I might cry. I'm cute when I cry, but you still don't want to see it and I sure as heck don't want a picture of it going down in the books. It'd be like having a picture of Bukowski bent over a toilet after a bender. I'd rather remember him on the couch with a bottle of wine and a cigarette. So I'd wear something flattering, probably black with blue jeans. My uniform. Maybe boots this time, but not new ones. I don't want to wear anything new.
I'd try to memorize one poem. Just one. Has nothing to do with ego. I just want to do one when I say exactly what I mean and look at everyone directly for every moment of it. I don't want to have to sell that poem; I want to be that poem, that one final poem. I'd make it the last poem of the night. I don't think you should have to read your prayers.
I’d have a book done up for sale, but all of the money would go toward funeral expenses. I’d have all of the poems I read that night in it of course. Why hold on to them? I’d also have all of my poetry there for people to peruse, all the notebooks, all the papers, all of the scribbled notes. Not giving it away or anything - that stuff is already willed out - but part of sharing poetry for me is sharing the process. A feature only gives you a piece of the puzzle with any poet. I want all of my poetry pieces out there.
I don't know what I'd read. I don't even want to speculate as a "non-dying" person. I think that kind of clarity only comes to you properly when you're faced with it. Sure, you could name a poem or two that you know you'd HAVE to read, but I'm not that cat. I don't really possess "HAVE TO" poems. I've got too many and rotate their sharing too frequently to be married to them like that.
And then, when it’s all said and done, I’ll say goodbye to everyone who came and go die. That’s a good way to die, if you have the option. I don’t know that I want the option, but if I had the chance to know, that would be a good way to go, poetry-wise.
Not that I’m looking to do that show, mind you.