Rock Star
I was having so much fun at work last night that I think I talked myself into forming a rock band. It will be an absurdist mission, an envelope-pushing stream of mayhem: Greg on drums, Tony on crunch guitar, Sparky on bass (if he acts right) and myself on random microphone madness.
Two rules for my as-yet unnamed band:
1) No Black Power songs.
Just because we're an all-Black band doesn't mean we're going to do the Living Colour thing and point that out. In fact, one of my songs shall be called "White Power" and will have that barnyard Nazi post-punk crunch sound, with the heavy shouting and the jerking stomp across the stage in black boots.
Chorus:
"White Power, White Power!
Kneel at the grave of the dead fuhrer"
(repeat)
2) We don't use gimmicks...we use "intriguing engagement devices".
1 minute song medleys. 3 songs with the same lyrics but different music. 50 pedals for the guitarist, of which he will bounce from at random moments, much like a game of Punch-The-Gopher. By contrast, the bassist will have one 4-foot-long pedal he has to put his weight into to switch, which will go with his fake 12 foot tall cabinet (housing a 4 foot tall amp).
It will go to 13.
Some of my titles will be:
Gimme My Prince Records
No Gimmick
Dig In
Lunch (Don't Ask)
...and of course, White Power.
I've TOTALLY got to get this out of my system before the actual live music show I'm putting on in the spring, lest this act actually end up on the stage in front of real people and not just my bored co-workers.
Man, don't let me come up with a cool name or it's sealed.
Got to get ready for a gig at Otterbein tonight. I'm Audi.
Oh yeah: I get married Sunday. I may be out of the loop for the next couple of weeks trying to, you know, change my entire life.
Two rules for my as-yet unnamed band:
1) No Black Power songs.
Just because we're an all-Black band doesn't mean we're going to do the Living Colour thing and point that out. In fact, one of my songs shall be called "White Power" and will have that barnyard Nazi post-punk crunch sound, with the heavy shouting and the jerking stomp across the stage in black boots.
Chorus:
"White Power, White Power!
Kneel at the grave of the dead fuhrer"
(repeat)
2) We don't use gimmicks...we use "intriguing engagement devices".
1 minute song medleys. 3 songs with the same lyrics but different music. 50 pedals for the guitarist, of which he will bounce from at random moments, much like a game of Punch-The-Gopher. By contrast, the bassist will have one 4-foot-long pedal he has to put his weight into to switch, which will go with his fake 12 foot tall cabinet (housing a 4 foot tall amp).
It will go to 13.
Some of my titles will be:
Gimme My Prince Records
No Gimmick
Dig In
Lunch (Don't Ask)
...and of course, White Power.
I've TOTALLY got to get this out of my system before the actual live music show I'm putting on in the spring, lest this act actually end up on the stage in front of real people and not just my bored co-workers.
Man, don't let me come up with a cool name or it's sealed.
Got to get ready for a gig at Otterbein tonight. I'm Audi.
Oh yeah: I get married Sunday. I may be out of the loop for the next couple of weeks trying to, you know, change my entire life.