you ask me to pray for rain
Who: Riza Hawkeye (firebornfidelis) and Utena Tenjo (princely_calyx), eventually "Jim Standfast" (re_formed) and Scar (lonestray)
When: Late late evening June 23, after this and this
Where: The ruins, to start
Format: paragraph
What: Riza is alone and grief-stricken. Utena to the rescue! Or something.
Warnings: Yelling, despair, possibly thoughts of suicide. tl;dr intro.
Riza had tried, she really had. She had thought she could make it. Everyone was telling her to get up, get moving, get away, but in her heart she had no desire to move. She may as well have died right there beside him for all anything mattered to her now.
But the voices over the Forge, they told her to get up. In the absence of any other orders, she had obeyed them. She didn't know how they all knew everything, didn't realize the Forge had been recording everything. But she didn't really think about it. It didn't matter how they knew, or even that they knew. What mattered was that she had failed to protect him, and he was dead. Gone. And with him, everything she had ever lived for. Everything they had worked for for the last ten years, everything they had sacrificed. It was now meaningless, because his blood was everywhere and he wasn't going to get up again. He couldn't cauterize his torn windpipe. He couldn't rise from the dead the way he had last time, with Lust. He wasn't going to stand and start a fire and save her from this despair. There was nothing that could save her now.
But she had tired to move. She stood up, she walked, and she had covered a good distance. If she looked over her shoulder, she would no longer see the place where his body was, a pool of blood soaking into the dirt, unblinking eyes staring into a sky as empty as they were.
She had tried. But she had failed. Again. She fell to her knees, breathing harsh as unbidden sobs choked her again, unendingly. She sat for a moment, remembering. Replaying the scene. The creature, its teeth covered in blood, the sound his body made as it hit the ground. She threw up.
Her hands were covered in blood. His blood, her blood, it was all the same. Her skin felt sticky, covered in it, drying in the night air. She tried again.
And failed. She made it a few more steps before her body gave up. Digging her fingers into the ground, she wished this was over. Wished everything was over. How could she keep going with the weight of everything - all of her failures, all of her sins - like stones, pressing her down, pressing the life out of her. She wanted to go back. To lie beside him and wait for the monster to return and kill her, too. It wasn't fair. He wasn't supposed to die, not before she did. But she couldn't move at all. There was no strength left in her body. So she sat and wept and wanted nothing.
When: Late late evening June 23, after this and this
Where: The ruins, to start
Format: paragraph
What: Riza is alone and grief-stricken. Utena to the rescue! Or something.
Warnings: Yelling, despair, possibly thoughts of suicide. tl;dr intro.
Riza had tried, she really had. She had thought she could make it. Everyone was telling her to get up, get moving, get away, but in her heart she had no desire to move. She may as well have died right there beside him for all anything mattered to her now.
But the voices over the Forge, they told her to get up. In the absence of any other orders, she had obeyed them. She didn't know how they all knew everything, didn't realize the Forge had been recording everything. But she didn't really think about it. It didn't matter how they knew, or even that they knew. What mattered was that she had failed to protect him, and he was dead. Gone. And with him, everything she had ever lived for. Everything they had worked for for the last ten years, everything they had sacrificed. It was now meaningless, because his blood was everywhere and he wasn't going to get up again. He couldn't cauterize his torn windpipe. He couldn't rise from the dead the way he had last time, with Lust. He wasn't going to stand and start a fire and save her from this despair. There was nothing that could save her now.
But she had tired to move. She stood up, she walked, and she had covered a good distance. If she looked over her shoulder, she would no longer see the place where his body was, a pool of blood soaking into the dirt, unblinking eyes staring into a sky as empty as they were.
She had tried. But she had failed. Again. She fell to her knees, breathing harsh as unbidden sobs choked her again, unendingly. She sat for a moment, remembering. Replaying the scene. The creature, its teeth covered in blood, the sound his body made as it hit the ground. She threw up.
Her hands were covered in blood. His blood, her blood, it was all the same. Her skin felt sticky, covered in it, drying in the night air. She tried again.
And failed. She made it a few more steps before her body gave up. Digging her fingers into the ground, she wished this was over. Wished everything was over. How could she keep going with the weight of everything - all of her failures, all of her sins - like stones, pressing her down, pressing the life out of her. She wanted to go back. To lie beside him and wait for the monster to return and kill her, too. It wasn't fair. He wasn't supposed to die, not before she did. But she couldn't move at all. There was no strength left in her body. So she sat and wept and wanted nothing.