(Untitled)

[pratservant]

Who: calamitousnaiad & pratservant
When: Right after this.
Where: Verity's room, Outlander block.
Format: Action
What: Two sadfaises. :(
Warnings: See above.

Comments

[calamitousnaiad]

You died?

[Part of her wants to ask how, but a lot of her curiosity has been killed for the moment. It may as well have been thrown in the waste yard with the bones for how little she wants to talk about death right now. But there are things she must know, or must at least try to understand, so as not to lose hope that the continuum can still right itself.]

He is strong. Brave. He was amazing in that camp.

[To face what they were facing and trying to look out for her at the same time. She wonders how much of a burden she had been to him, if she hadn't done him more harm than good by staying near him. If she'd left him, maybe he wouldn't have died.]

[She shakes her head a little. If she starts to think that way, she'll never be able to go outside again.]

Yes. If anyone, then him. I'm sure. Do you know... is it common? To come back?

[She looks down again, at her lap, and bites her lip.]

I'm sorry, I shouldn't bother you with all these questions. And after... everything.

[She takes a breath. Fidgets. Change the subject, change the subject...]

I don't suppose you know of anywhere I might be able to get a bulldog, do you?

[pratservant]

[Merlin nods in response, attempts a smile.]

And here I am.

[His smile both warms and saddens when she tells him how amazing Arthur was. He's not surprised. Arthur would accept nothing less of himself.]

The people who vanish seem to just...vanish. The dead usually come back.

[Usually. But not always. But he's trying to give them both hope. Merlin shakes his head dismissively when she starts apologizing.]

You're no burden, Verity. But...uhm.

[His expression goes puzzled.]

What's a bulldog?

[calamitousnaiad]

I am glad.

[So Arthur must come back. There is nothing else for it. There is nothing else that can put the continuum back to rights. So she believes this with the panicky intensity of a person whose life depends on the outcome.

I was speaking with Irene. She came back as well. But she was missing something. That she came back... different. Without her strength. Was it like that for you, too?

[And she pauses. Looks up at him.]

You don't have to answer that if you don't like.

[But the question, the dog. She smiles slightly at it. Still a bit hollow, but teaching herself to cope a little at a time. Merlin's presence helps, too. As she describes bulldogs to him, she moves her arms, seemingly to demonstrate the shape of the dog, frowning exaggeratedly and turning her hands into fists to approximate paws.]

I guess they are a bit after your time. They're dogs. They're heavyset and their front feet turn in a bit. Great bit shoulders. Flat face with jowls. They're sweet dogs, lovely and friendly, but intimidating when they want to be. They were bread to fight bulls. And win. But they actually make lovely pets. I think I would like to get one if one can be found.

[pratservant]

No, I don't mind. For a few days after I came back, I couldn't hardly move. Felt more dead than alive.

[But he did recover, and that's actually reassuring.]

Those sound like really brave, strong dogs.

[Fight bulls and win. Merlin's eyebrows raise before he smiles softly.]

When you find one, might I suggest 'Arthur' for a name?

[calamitousnaiad]

As if your body was returning slowly? Or was it like a bad illness?

[Interested green-grey eyes watch him, her never-ending questions clearly not having suffered much damage.]

They are. I think if I had one around, I might feel safer when I'm alone.

[And less lonely, too. Despite how much the dog would remind him of Cyril and Terrence and Ned. Especially Ned.]

[She smiles at that suggestion, affection warming in her eyes.]

That sounds like a very good name for a bulldog.

[pratservant]

A little bit of both, I guess. I couldn't get out of bed. I knew I was alive, but I was just weak.

[Merlin looks up at her, holds her gaze for a moment before shaking his head.]

I hope you never have to know.

[A faint smile crosses his lips. He really hopes she'll find her bull fighting dog.]

I will keep an eye out for one.

[calamitousnaiad]

Is it always like that? I was speaking to Irene - I don't know if you know her, but I believe she's from the same place as Priscilla - she described it as "losing her powers." I wasn't really sure what that meant.

[She frowns slightly, sadly.]

I wish you hadn't either.

[And she matches his expression as it changes, smiling just slightly.]

Do you remember the man I told you about when you were a little boy? Ned, with the crooked mustache? He and I were thinking of getting one together. A bulldog. As a companion for our cat.

[She scans the room and spots Penwiper now perched on the windowsill. It seems incomplete, this kitten of Arjumand's without a bulldog to keep her company.]

[pratservant]

I think it's different each time. There's no way of knowing with this place, no way of predicting-

[He stops there before he just depresses them both again.]

That sounds nice, actually.

[Merlin smiles in spite of himself.]

A happy little family.

[calamitousnaiad]

[She nods. He knows he doesn't have to continue. She understands.]

It was nice. It was the continuum in a way, that brought us all together.

[That ghost of a smile brightens just slightly as she thinks of Ned. But it's a double edged sword. She doesn't know if she'll get to see him again, and it is hard to believe in something like the stabilizing force of the continuum after what has just happened.]

Yes. Our family. It was meant to be, yes.

[Our wedding, our children. Things she can't have here. She sniffles and wipes at her eyes with the back of her hand to try to stop herself before she starts again. Her eyes already hurt from crying.]

[pratservant]

You'll still have your family.

[He whispers, reassuring himself as much as her.]

And you will dance with Ned on your fiftieth wedding anniversary. And you will remember that I told you as much.

[calamitousnaiad]

[She folds her hands up in her lap and stares down at them. Breathing slowly, trying to keep herself on just this side of a breakdown.]

I want to believe that, Merlin. I really do. We always said... we were meant to spend our lives together. That we were destined.

[She looks up at him sideways and bites the insides of her cheeks.]

It's hard to believe in destiny when something like this happens.

[pratservant]

Or maybe that's when we need to believe in it the most.

[The last hope of desperate men. And women.]

[calamitousnaiad]

[She reaches for his hand and squeezes it, an attempt to provide them both a bit of comfort in their connection, even if there is very little to be found elsewhere.]

You're right. Of course you are. We must have faith.

[She nods and presses her lips together and squeezes her eyes shut to try to keep herself from crying anymore.

[pratservant]

[Merlin takes her hand and squeezes it.]

I should get going.

[Because already he knows there are things that need doing.]

I'll take care of the doors first though. You'll be safe here.

[calamitousnaiad]

[She nods and lets go of his hand. She doesn't want him to leave but she knows. He must have things to do.]

Of course. Thank you, Merlin.