[video] 010 - my heart is sinking, i know winter's on its way
Sunlight streams through the window and bright light illuminates the cheerfully decorated bedroom. The window is open and through that, waves can be heard. Birds chirp and the smell of sea air wafts gently in the air. It’s a peaceful place, this quaint getaway.
The chintz bedspread rustles as you wake up. There are two of you in that bed. As much as you adore your partner, it’s nothing when compared to what he feels for you. He adores you. He finds your clumsiness endearing. He likes you for you and he’s a gentlemen. He’d never ask you to be something that you’re not. He’d never ask you to look a special way. What strikes you most is his kindness. You've never met anyone so kind.
It’s the way love should start.
You look at the window before turning your attention back to the man in the bed. You smile and first brush a kiss on his shoulder. It would be a delightful to be kissed until awake, you think as you press another kiss into his neck. He stirs and you reach up to gently caress his face. You smile when he smiles.
It’s always the way love should start.
He wraps his arm around you and pulls you close. He kisses your cheek and then your lips. You pull the bedspread over the two of yours heads. You giggle and he smiles.
It’s a dream, though. No matter how beautiful and no matter how much you wish it wouldn’t end, it does end. Reality seeps in and you’re no longer in a comfortable cottage bedroom by the sea. You’re in a dark room and you’ve been there for days.
You think you are going to die in this room. It gets to a point where you long for death. It is the much preferred alternative. Death is so much better than this state of existence and you no longer care if that makes you weak. You just want the pain to stop.
It doesn’t stop, it doesn’t end. Your tormentor is relentless. She has planned this well.
One day, when you are sitting in your cell and she enters. She, Bellatrix, your aunt, your enemy, your tormentor, the woman has many names and you’ve called her by most. Bellatrix could've been beautiful, at one time she was considered as such. Now she looks dilapidated, much like an old house. You can see traces of what once was but they're gone now.
She’s not alone when she enters the cell. She has a person with her, another victim..
Her victim immediately drops to the ground under the effects of the Cruciatus Curse. He screams. You know what it feels like. You know what the repeated application of the curse feels like, what it makes you long for.
You tell Bellatrix to stop it and she does stop it. She affixes you with a gaze that makes your blood run cold, colder than it ever has. Why did you even open your mouth? It wasn't you being tortured so why do you speak?
Bellatrix approaches you. She sits down next to you and lifts your hand to rest on her wand. She says the spell for the painful curse again and the victim screams one more time. But he doesn’t have to scream again, you have that choice. You could end it; it’s just two words, two tiny little words. It is all you need say.
You don’t want to do that. The Killing Curse is unforgivable for a reason. You say that you don’t want to do it, you won’t. Bellatrix simply smiles and tells you that you’re going to watch as she takes them apart. You lose count of how many times the victim screams. Finally, you can’t take it anymore.
You’ll do it. You will put this person out of their misery. If you were in their shoes, and you are, you would hope that a person would do the same for you. There’s too much suffering. It needs to end and so you say the words. A jet of green light shoots out from Bellatrix’s wand and the person dies.
You think it’s the end but it’s not. The person was just the first in a long line of unfortunate souls. As the number of victims increase, the time it takes for you to use the killing curse decreases. You arrive at a place where you don’t wait for Bellatrix to torment the victim. You kill them on the spot and you die on the inside, right along with your victim.
It’s not a nightmare. It’s your reality.
The chintz bedspread rustles as you wake up. There are two of you in that bed. As much as you adore your partner, it’s nothing when compared to what he feels for you. He adores you. He finds your clumsiness endearing. He likes you for you and he’s a gentlemen. He’d never ask you to be something that you’re not. He’d never ask you to look a special way. What strikes you most is his kindness. You've never met anyone so kind.
It’s the way love should start.
You look at the window before turning your attention back to the man in the bed. You smile and first brush a kiss on his shoulder. It would be a delightful to be kissed until awake, you think as you press another kiss into his neck. He stirs and you reach up to gently caress his face. You smile when he smiles.
It’s always the way love should start.
He wraps his arm around you and pulls you close. He kisses your cheek and then your lips. You pull the bedspread over the two of yours heads. You giggle and he smiles.
It’s a dream, though. No matter how beautiful and no matter how much you wish it wouldn’t end, it does end. Reality seeps in and you’re no longer in a comfortable cottage bedroom by the sea. You’re in a dark room and you’ve been there for days.
You think you are going to die in this room. It gets to a point where you long for death. It is the much preferred alternative. Death is so much better than this state of existence and you no longer care if that makes you weak. You just want the pain to stop.
It doesn’t stop, it doesn’t end. Your tormentor is relentless. She has planned this well.
One day, when you are sitting in your cell and she enters. She, Bellatrix, your aunt, your enemy, your tormentor, the woman has many names and you’ve called her by most. Bellatrix could've been beautiful, at one time she was considered as such. Now she looks dilapidated, much like an old house. You can see traces of what once was but they're gone now.
She’s not alone when she enters the cell. She has a person with her, another victim..
Her victim immediately drops to the ground under the effects of the Cruciatus Curse. He screams. You know what it feels like. You know what the repeated application of the curse feels like, what it makes you long for.
You tell Bellatrix to stop it and she does stop it. She affixes you with a gaze that makes your blood run cold, colder than it ever has. Why did you even open your mouth? It wasn't you being tortured so why do you speak?
Bellatrix approaches you. She sits down next to you and lifts your hand to rest on her wand. She says the spell for the painful curse again and the victim screams one more time. But he doesn’t have to scream again, you have that choice. You could end it; it’s just two words, two tiny little words. It is all you need say.
You don’t want to do that. The Killing Curse is unforgivable for a reason. You say that you don’t want to do it, you won’t. Bellatrix simply smiles and tells you that you’re going to watch as she takes them apart. You lose count of how many times the victim screams. Finally, you can’t take it anymore.
You’ll do it. You will put this person out of their misery. If you were in their shoes, and you are, you would hope that a person would do the same for you. There’s too much suffering. It needs to end and so you say the words. A jet of green light shoots out from Bellatrix’s wand and the person dies.
You think it’s the end but it’s not. The person was just the first in a long line of unfortunate souls. As the number of victims increase, the time it takes for you to use the killing curse decreases. You arrive at a place where you don’t wait for Bellatrix to torment the victim. You kill them on the spot and you die on the inside, right along with your victim.
It’s not a nightmare. It’s your reality.