[...her fingers snake from her hand, longer and longer, till they wrap about the Forge and draw it closer.]
[She stares at the camera, her face blank, empty... for a moment. And then she looks away, and she looks young again, and fragile.]
Arthur. I had a dream. I lived in a little castle in the snow. It was cold, always cold, like living inside winter. And there were always stars and never light. Not after the dusk came, and turned everything all red, and then blue, and then black.
And the land was so barren that the towns were spread and spread, and you could walk for days and never see anyone except... that one person. [A little pause.] No, two. But the second changes... sometimes.
I was always looking... searching for who I was.
And I had a dream that I lived in a castle by the edge of the city. And there were always people everywhere, and they loved me, and sometimes I loved them. Even the ones I hated, I loved, in some ways. And I hated the ones I loved, in some ways.
[She stares past the camera, past the screen, into the distance.]
At first, I was afraid, kneeling in the rocks at that woman's feet. I thought I would disappear. And I was so angry - at her for killing, and at me, because I couldn't make it right. But I did make it right. And I didn't disappear. I-- no. I was dying, wasn't I? Luciela... she hit me, and there were holes left in my flesh by that doll in the ruins. Too much pain. Too much to heal, even for me. ...I didn't want to die. So I was afraid then, too. Is that the right story? Is that how it happened?
...but it doesn't matter, does it? All this time, there's never been any reason to hold back.
It didn't make me disappear, like I thought it would. It only set me free.
I mean it. Priscilla believed in people. She was defined by her restraint, not her power. She kept trying to be the best she could be, and made silly mistakes along the way. She was a real person. She was my best friend.
You're just the monster that's been living in her body.
If you see too much, you become... blinded. By everything. There's s saying about it. I don't remember... Senji taught me, once. Or maybe someone else. A forest, and trees?
But it's the other way around. Sometimes all I see are forests. The trees just seem so small.
I wonder. [At this, she smirks. A little dark.] I can be your monster, you know. Seven years, I starved, until my body shrank away. After seven years, nothing is enough.
Would that be easier?
[...her fingers snake from her hand, longer and longer, till they wrap about the Forge and draw it closer.]
[She stares at the camera, her face blank, empty... for a moment. And then she looks away, and she looks young again, and fragile.]
Arthur. I had a dream. I lived in a little castle in the snow. It was cold, always cold, like living inside winter. And there were always stars and never light. Not after the dusk came, and turned everything all red, and then blue, and then black.
And the land was so barren that the towns were spread and spread, and you could walk for days and never see anyone except... that one person. [A little pause.] No, two. But the second changes... sometimes.
I was always looking... searching for who I was.
And I had a dream that I lived in a castle by the edge of the city. And there were always people everywhere, and they loved me, and sometimes I loved them. Even the ones I hated, I loved, in some ways. And I hated the ones I loved, in some ways.
I knew who I was, then. But not now.
[Another pause, she looks at the camera.]
Did you imagine it often?
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I know who you are. You're the monster Priscilla was frightened of.
[ He doesn't answer her question. ]
I thought she was strong enough to hold you back.
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[She stares past the camera, past the screen, into the distance.]
At first, I was afraid, kneeling in the rocks at that woman's feet. I thought I would disappear. And I was so angry - at her for killing, and at me, because I couldn't make it right. But I did make it right. And I didn't disappear. I-- no. I was dying, wasn't I? Luciela... she hit me, and there were holes left in my flesh by that doll in the ruins. Too much pain. Too much to heal, even for me. ...I didn't want to die. So I was afraid then, too. Is that the right story? Is that how it happened?
...but it doesn't matter, does it? All this time, there's never been any reason to hold back.
It didn't make me disappear, like I thought it would. It only set me free.
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Think what you like. We're all entitled to our little lies.
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You're just the monster that's been living in her body.
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[A little tip of her head.]
We believe the things that make us happy. Or let us live another day. Or let us live with ourselves, and our world, and others.
...I remember that. It wasn't so long ago, in one life.
[And then, a little flicker of curiosity.]
Do you think I'm not "real?"
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If you see too much, you become... blinded. By everything. There's s saying about it. I don't remember... Senji taught me, once. Or maybe someone else. A forest, and trees?
But it's the other way around. Sometimes all I see are forests. The trees just seem so small.
[And then, the words no one wants to hear...]
...I'm so. Hungry.
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[But no, actually...]
Nothing was ever enough.
Why am I holding back now?
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...it's kind of... annoying. To forget yourself. To lose years. To never know where you come from, or where you've been. What you are.
To unlock something like that... it's worth any price.
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If you'll forgive me being cold, I doubt you would be welcomed warmly if you started feeding. There is only a limited amount of people, besides.
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But of course, I do know, now.
Enough to know I've little to fear from being welcome, or unwelcome.
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Just try not to kill people.
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