[His response is not immediate. He's been here long enough to know what these things are, posts one is not aware of, invasions of privacy. It's why he doesn't bother to question it.]
It is always a waste. [Quiet, not forceful, but not lacking that certain quality of pride that comes with Byakuya. It's a waste. He can wish until the end of time for her to come back to him, but the reality is, she won't. It'll only cause unnecessary pain.]
It would not be a wish if it could be granted so easily. [Even though he knows that isn't necessarily true, he also knows that the things a person wishes for... are the things they can't ever have.]
[She's quiet for a long time. She should be used to this by now. It's a stark contrast to the man she's interacted with these past few weeks, but she knows very well that people are often not what they seem when you scratch the surface.
And these Forges really like to scratch the surface. More like dig at it.
And people always surprise you.
She's touched - it's a sad, sweet thing (dream? memory? it doesn't matter) but it's an intrusion, and this isn't really hers - shouldn't be hers to see.
So she'll clear her throat very softly and even out her voice, before:]
[Pretty sure you know what your forge just showed. Not going there. You don't seem the type to like your wounds opened, and she can't say she doesn't understand. So her condolences are given by changing the subject. Because she did have something to ask you anyway, and now seems as good of a time as any.]
I wanted your permission on something. To make sure it's not against the rules here. I'd like to start offering specialized services to the Anatolians, if they have need of it. Old cases, overlooked ones. People that still want answers.
It won't interfere, and it might foster some goodwill. Which would be pretty welcome right about now.
[ video ]heartbetweenFebruary 21 2011, 01:48:38 UTC
[Kaien smiles softly into the Forge after watching the dream. Normally his grin would be quite a bit broader and this dream would put him into full-on teasing mode, but in light of recent events...a little more delicacy is required.]
That was really sweet, Byakuya.
[Pause!]
...I'm sure she'll be back sometime. I know she will.
[Sweet, he says. Byakuya would call it cruel. He wasn't like that with her here, always afraid that if he allowed himself contentment, she'd be taken away. It reminds him of the moments he could have had but never gave himself the chance because of some silly fear.
He could tell Kaien to go away, or ignore him, but he already knows. He'll come over. He might, still. But at least this gives him a little time to straighten himself, make himself presentable after this last failure, disappointment, before he sets himself up for another.
He doesn't look directly at the Forge when he replies. It makes it easier to pretend it doesn't matter.]
I don't wish. [That's what it sounds like, a wish.]
[ video ]heartbetweenFebruary 21 2011, 20:49:09 UTC
[Kaien's known him too long for that act to work. That pretense like he is unruffled, as if losing her wasn't the most painful thing Anatole could have ever done to him. Especially because it's her. More than anything else in the world, Byakuya loved his wife. There was no way Kaien would believe that he wasn't upset.]
It's okay to miss her, you know. To want her to come back. It's normal. I'd be more worried if you didn't.
[There's a flash of emotion when he says that, that 'it's okay' line that he keeps hearing. It's not okay. Hisana died a long time ago. It's not okay to feel as if his world has fallen apart around him again and there is no Rukia, no Renji, no Ukitake and Kyouraku to remind him of that persona he created to make it easier.
He definitely going to pretend there is something more interesting off screen.]
I don't want her here. [It's safer if she isn't here. She won't suffer. She won't be forced to see what he's become or chase him across a distance he thinks is impossible to cross.]
[There are some things we can't attain, no matter how powerful we are. It's what sits in his head by the time the dream finishes. He could say it aloud, but he doesn't. It might not be rubbing salt in the wound, but it wouldn't be right to say.
Neither would an 'I'm sorry.' Not for this man.] Wishing never changes anything. Hard work does. But I think she was right, wishing can make us happy sometimes. It's like hope.
[He's not really expecting a response. Hell, he knows he probably shouldn't have said anything anyway.]
Don't you know already? [Maybe he sounds surprised, but it's a subtle thing. His voice is too quiet for anything else.]
Wishes are selfish, at the end of the day. We make them so we can feel better, so we can hope. But they're not for everyone. Some people don't really know how to wish.
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It is always a waste. [Quiet, not forceful, but not lacking that certain quality of pride that comes with Byakuya. It's a waste. He can wish until the end of time for her to come back to him, but the reality is, she won't. It'll only cause unnecessary pain.]
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And these Forges really like to scratch the surface. More like dig at it.
And people always surprise you.
She's touched - it's a sad, sweet thing (dream? memory? it doesn't matter) but it's an intrusion, and this isn't really hers - shouldn't be hers to see.
So she'll clear her throat very softly and even out her voice, before:]
Captain.
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What is it? [Something to do. A distraction. He really... could use one.]
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I wanted your permission on something. To make sure it's not against the rules here. I'd like to start offering specialized services to the Anatolians, if they have need of it. Old cases, overlooked ones. People that still want answers.
It won't interfere, and it might foster some goodwill. Which would be pretty welcome right about now.
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How do you intend to do this?
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This only serves to stoke that fire he's smothered with ice for so long. She is the one he could not kill for her transgressions. It's even worse.]
Be gone. [Cold fire. He won't deal with you.]
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Has your hearing failed you?
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That was really sweet, Byakuya.
[Pause!]
...I'm sure she'll be back sometime. I know she will.
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He could tell Kaien to go away, or ignore him, but he already knows. He'll come over. He might, still. But at least this gives him a little time to straighten himself, make himself presentable after this last failure, disappointment, before he sets himself up for another.
He doesn't look directly at the Forge when he replies. It makes it easier to pretend it doesn't matter.]
I don't wish. [That's what it sounds like, a wish.]
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It's okay to miss her, you know. To want her to come back. It's normal. I'd be more worried if you didn't.
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He definitely going to pretend there is something more interesting off screen.]
I don't want her here. [It's safer if she isn't here. She won't suffer. She won't be forced to see what he's become or chase him across a distance he thinks is impossible to cross.]
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Neither would an 'I'm sorry.' Not for this man.] Wishing never changes anything. Hard work does. But I think she was right, wishing can make us happy sometimes. It's like hope.
[He's not really expecting a response. Hell, he knows he probably shouldn't have said anything anyway.]
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... and yet, they are distractions.]
What purpose, then, is there to wish? [He doesn't sound curious or confused. It might be more of a statement. He already knows the answer.]
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Wishes are selfish, at the end of the day. We make them so we can feel better, so we can hope. But they're not for everyone. Some people don't really know how to wish.
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[Because that's really all he heard. 'Feel better' and 'hope'. Things someone like him has no need for.]
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