jealousy rears its ugly head
hmmm, is it normal to look at someone and see everything you were supposed to have and more and get so jealous it makes you nauseous, and the shit of it is, the person who has it all.. doesnt even realize what they have. To stop beating around the bush, I know another pregnant lesbian, who actually cheated on her girlfriend and is having a baby, and her girlfriend and her are getting married, and happy, and the girl forgave her, I didnt cheat on my girlfriend, I got pregnant before we got significantly together, and my "ex girlfriend" now hates me for it... we have tried to be friends and we cant even do that cuz she really hates me, she told me the other night its cuz every time she looks at me and sees something that could have been "so wonderful" and she has a hard time dealing with the fact that i fucked it up so bad... I look at the other couple, and it kills me that I cant have that, what the hell have i done wrong to always get the shitty ass end of the deal? yeah i know im having a pity party, but thats what i use my livejournal for, and I cant help the way I fuckin feel about the whole damm thing... my baby is due in 4 weeks, Im scared, Im so very scared, am I going to make it this time? I cant handle another adoption, I really cant...