[public] "I'll have ______, please!" "_____? _____ what?" "... I forget..."
I'm now up to 20 days without a second spent on time-wasting games. no Tetris, no backgammon, nothing of that sort.
I have had two or three nights of TF2 in that time. this doesn't make me feel nearly as guilty as the others, especially if Cy is playing along. but it's still another time expenditure that doesn't make me feel better and that I could cut out.
I continue to do far more reading of actual books than before. I have two days left before I must return Change Anything, so I'm hurrying to make sure I finish my notetaking on it. in my most recent library run I checked out How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big: Kind of the Story of My Life, by Scott Adams (creator of Dilbert), listed in the Biography section even though I got it for the life lessons.
so far, it's proven to be another book that is full enough of insights and lessons I never got anywhere else that I know I'll be taking notes to save forever.
in particular, the paramount importance of systems and habits -- and NOT (outcome-based) goals -- is something that all these successful writers agree on but that nobody ever taught me anywhere.
(Adams writes bluntly that "goals are for losers." the Change Anything folks don't go that far, but they do agree that you should "reward what you do, not what you achieve.")
based on how they raised me, I infer that my parents thought that if I kept my grades up and graduated from a good college with a lucrative major, and also knew a thing or two about personal finance and investing, I would be set for success. I say this because they never mentioned anything about the importance of habits, systems, hard work, mental fortitude, or social skills (another huge gap in my personal skill set) to achieving success, which I'm beginning to believe exceed that of actual knowledge and talent.
I suppose they may have had the excuse of coming of age in a different time, being able to ride the wave that was the rise of computing in the 80s and 90s to what should have been a fairly comfortable lifestyle (absent my mother's still-troubling spending habits), which might have brought one to the conclusion that a good degree in science/tech was all one needed. to his credit, my father realized in the 90s that he needed to update his skills, and went to the community college and got certifications in C/UNIX (apparently they were considered inseparable at the time) and web design/HTML (back when you pretty much had to code everything by hand).
that wasn't enough to stop him from getting downsized in 2008, when he was 53 and out recovering from an aortic aneurysm, but by then I was two years out of college and my future looked so promising that I didn't really learn anything from the event.
and I suppose further that I actually am in a pretty successful spot by the metrics others use. an in-law of mine pointed out that I have such things as a house, two cars (cheap and used but reliable), a fairly high-paying job with career upside in a job category that has perennially low unemployment rates, and a wife.
and yet I still don't feel like a success. I feel like I still haven't found the things I want from life.
... as for just what those things would be, I still haven't quite figured that out yet (if you're a long-time reader, then you know this is not a new problem), but let's start with freedom from needing to work for a living. that would be huge.
This entry was originally posted at: https://scintilla72.dreamwidth.org/759900.html. Please comment wherever you prefer.
I have had two or three nights of TF2 in that time. this doesn't make me feel nearly as guilty as the others, especially if Cy is playing along. but it's still another time expenditure that doesn't make me feel better and that I could cut out.
I continue to do far more reading of actual books than before. I have two days left before I must return Change Anything, so I'm hurrying to make sure I finish my notetaking on it. in my most recent library run I checked out How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big: Kind of the Story of My Life, by Scott Adams (creator of Dilbert), listed in the Biography section even though I got it for the life lessons.
so far, it's proven to be another book that is full enough of insights and lessons I never got anywhere else that I know I'll be taking notes to save forever.
in particular, the paramount importance of systems and habits -- and NOT (outcome-based) goals -- is something that all these successful writers agree on but that nobody ever taught me anywhere.
(Adams writes bluntly that "goals are for losers." the Change Anything folks don't go that far, but they do agree that you should "reward what you do, not what you achieve.")
based on how they raised me, I infer that my parents thought that if I kept my grades up and graduated from a good college with a lucrative major, and also knew a thing or two about personal finance and investing, I would be set for success. I say this because they never mentioned anything about the importance of habits, systems, hard work, mental fortitude, or social skills (another huge gap in my personal skill set) to achieving success, which I'm beginning to believe exceed that of actual knowledge and talent.
I suppose they may have had the excuse of coming of age in a different time, being able to ride the wave that was the rise of computing in the 80s and 90s to what should have been a fairly comfortable lifestyle (absent my mother's still-troubling spending habits), which might have brought one to the conclusion that a good degree in science/tech was all one needed. to his credit, my father realized in the 90s that he needed to update his skills, and went to the community college and got certifications in C/UNIX (apparently they were considered inseparable at the time) and web design/HTML (back when you pretty much had to code everything by hand).
that wasn't enough to stop him from getting downsized in 2008, when he was 53 and out recovering from an aortic aneurysm, but by then I was two years out of college and my future looked so promising that I didn't really learn anything from the event.
and I suppose further that I actually am in a pretty successful spot by the metrics others use. an in-law of mine pointed out that I have such things as a house, two cars (cheap and used but reliable), a fairly high-paying job with career upside in a job category that has perennially low unemployment rates, and a wife.
and yet I still don't feel like a success. I feel like I still haven't found the things I want from life.
... as for just what those things would be, I still haven't quite figured that out yet (if you're a long-time reader, then you know this is not a new problem), but let's start with freedom from needing to work for a living. that would be huge.
This entry was originally posted at: https://scintilla72.dreamwidth.org/759900.html. Please comment wherever you prefer.