3rd ♒ text

Nov 17, 2011 02:07

FILTERED FROM KARKAT

so normally i dont ask this but ( Read more... )

not like i need your help or anything, eridan's got swwag, eridan ampora: romance expert, baby got a first date

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So long I'm sorry dfkjhsjdk sciencebipches November 17 2011, 19:21:37 UTC
shooosh youll get ovver i knoww im such a prize an all
but uh i havve my black ashen and pale open still seein as this date is definitely goin dowwn the flushed path an i kinda promised him that id dedicate that solely to him anywway
but as far as quadrants there are our four different types a romance
pale is for moirallegiance wwhich is kinda a shitty quadrant basically like grubsittin im sure its important but not like i need anyone to keep a eye on me
then the black is kismesisitude wwhich is fuckin awwesome alright its based around bein fated rivvals
wwhere you fuckin hate the person wwith all your soul and bein an strivve to be the vvery fuckin misery in their life evvery inconvvenience they encounter should be fuckin you
evvery fuckin failure they face needs to be at your fins
not to mention the hate make outs yeah those are rightly fuckin amazin
then theres flushed wwhich is just as good its based on pity its about as close to your human romance based on lovve
close but not exactly the same basically since wwe trolls are pretty fuckin vvicious it means wwhen it comes to another trolls wweakest moments wwe cant bring ourselvves to fuckin strike them dowwn because a all the pity that wwe feel for em
that instead wwe just wwant to protect and care for em and shit
take em on dates an the like
oh an then theres ashen wwhich is wwhere twwo trolls sneer at each other in somesuch a funny enough wway and need someone to mediate betwween em basically
since kismesises are the ones meanin to be bellicose wwith each other and tryin to be hateful to anyone other than your kismesis is definitely the fuckin wwrong thing to do because that rightly leads to black infidelity an if you wwant a thrivvin rivvalry wwith that special malodorous troll in your black quadrant you cant be havvin that
also it helps prevvent death but like that really fuckin matters sometimes the hate gets too much to handle and someone wwinds up dead
but ovverall i dont see the big deal
one less fuck you gotta deal wwith

[HOW SCANDALOUS ROBIN!]

ANYWWAY
wwell wwe eat grubs an grubloaf an tasty mucus an so forth
delicious shit like that wwhich i see not many a you humans part takin in wwhich is a dowwnright shame considerin some a the wweird shit you eat
but wwait are you serious

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NO NO NO I LOVE IT <3 hackintheaster November 17 2011, 21:17:00 UTC
Wait so which one would I be? Because I'm not your freaking pale/pity one for sure. But the black.

Wait.

The black slash kimsemsisitude one is the one you have a rival with but you fuck? And make out with? Hate-fully? [Excuse him because neither of these options seem anywhere near okay. This kid is just now fourteen, my friend.] And wouldn't your flushed whoever get jealous if you're having sex with your black?

And if you only have black and pale open, who is your ashen?

Also, since I don't like pale of black, we're going to make you a new relationship-possibility. So that I can fit into it.

[He's just going to kind of not mention the food and now none of that sounds in any way delicious and oh god did he say mucus? Definitely no aster there.]

Am I serious about what?

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Eridan butchering the quadrants, I'm sure Karkat's off crying somewhere sciencebipches November 17 2011, 21:26:18 UTC
wwhy the fuck wwould your flushed quadrant get jealous ovver that
hate and pity are twwo vvery different emotions youre expected to havve a kismesis an a matesprit not only for the sake a killin off loneliness but so you dont get killed off yourself wwhen the drone comes
but yeah a kismesis is someone you hate but also havve a attraction to but fuck im only fuckin 6 swweeps im not talkin about pailin anyone right noww
god

no i said i havve black ASHEN an pale open i dont got anyone in my ashen quadrant
but wwait so you wwant to make your owwn quadrant wwith me is that wwhat youre sayin

an about you wwhiskin me awway on a secret date

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FUCK THE SYSTEM. hackintheaster November 17 2011, 21:35:49 UTC
Because that's a normal reaction? Humans are very... monogamous. We don't like to share.

And dude okay I was worried there. I still don't understand your whole sweep thing with regards to earth years so give me a break.

Oh, my bad. So you don't have anyone in any of your quadrants other than Kar? [He's going to pretend that he feels kind of bad for Eridan about that. So he was definitely right about his original 'lonely' assumption. Good to know, but also not. THAT'S OKAY ERIDAN ROB IS HERE NOW.]

Yes that's what I'm saying. Let's make our own quadrant. Because I'm that special.

And um, that was my plan, yes. Why? Do you have a problem with it?

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sciencebipches November 17 2011, 22:18:43 UTC
wwell thats not howw it is for us trolls
i knoww the majesty a our quadrants are a lot to take in all at once but surely youll get used to it

oh uh i think im roughly 13 years or somethin like that talked to heath about it before and it came to about that

i USED to havve a moirail an a kismesis but
wwell they both kinda left me at the same time wwas a shitty situation so
yeah all i got is kar an evven noww its not a for sure thing yet wwere wworkin towwards it

[Yep, he certainly is lonely, Rob. You definitely pegged him right. He really is lacking even in the friends department.]

er wwell okay if wwere gonna do that then wwhat exactly is this quadrant goin pertain to

wwell dependin on wwhat kinda date wwere talkin about it might be a problem

[HE'S TRYING TO PROVE HIS DEDICATION TO KARKAT ROBIN, JEEZ YA HOMEWRECKER.]

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hackintheaster November 18 2011, 01:12:41 UTC
I'm sure I will. I just have to make sure I have it all organized and the like.

And aw, sweet man! We're roughly the same age. This works out perfectly.

Oh. Well, uh. [Rob definitely wants to ask him about this situation, but doesn't think now is the right time. Soon. He will learn very soon.]

Um... I don't know. The other ones are pity and rivalry, right? What else could be make it based on?

I would say friendship, but that doesn't translate over to troll.

As for the date, I'm between two options. We can either have a bro-date, and eat a lot of foot and watch stupid movies and play video games, or I can woo you with my hopeless romantic side that I keep tucked away for special occassions. Take your pick.

[ROB IS SO TOTALLY A HOMEWRECKER. Even if Rob will totally end up being the therapist if there is any drama at all, too. He's just too good at being everyone.]

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sciencebipches November 19 2011, 03:38:24 UTC
take your time i dont wwant you to damage your sponge or anythin

yeah wwe are huh does make things easier in a wway

dont wworry about it its hardly fuckin important

as for the quadrant wwell quadrants are a troll thing so wwhy not make it a human based concept then
im not particularly opposed to it i mean itll be somethin kneww i guess kinda odd but makin a neww quadrant in an of itself is odd so wwhatevver
wwhat wwould wwe evven call this haha

fuck [It's almost sad the fact that he's having trouble picking here...]

i think the brodate wwould probably be the best option if im wwantin to make shit wwork wwith kar
sorry to disappoint cuz im sure you wwere hopin to fuckin romance me

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hackintheaster November 19 2011, 03:54:29 UTC
I'm sure I can handle it, though your concern is adorable.

[Eridan's refusal to talk about it definitely puts up a red flag. This will have to be brought up again.]

Based off a human concept. A very whelming idea, huh. We could make it based off being, like, bros. The Bro Quadrant or something. That would work, right?

Aw, we can go on both if you'd like. [But awwww, he wants to make it work with Kar that's so cute~] Though I'd rather not have Kar more jealous of me than he already is, so we'll stick with just the brodate for now. I can always work on my wooing skills another time, because I know you're excited about that.

We'll find time, I'm sure.

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sciencebipches November 23 2011, 18:02:55 UTC
hahahaha more like suavve as fuck adorable is fittin for a fuckin wwriggler and a wwriggler i aint

yeah that could wwork i mean id havve to kinda get used to the idea a it but wwhatevver sure

a brodate sounds like itd be fuckin fun
kinda makes me think a wwhen fef and i wwould hang out
uh
so yeah lets definitely do that but i dont knoww if youll be able to wwoo me im pretty fuckin stricken wwith kar youd havve to wwork your fuckin nook off to swweep me off my flippers an all

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hackintheaster November 24 2011, 04:40:04 UTC
Suave? Are you trying to seduce me here?

But dude, you can get used to the idea. Because we're bros now and that's how things work.

Fef? Do I or should I know a fef?

And awesome man, a brodate it is. I'm sure there's an arcade somewhere we can chill at, too. It'll be sweet.

And aww, that's cute. I might not even try since you're working so hard at being loyal. Maybe you'll just fall for my natural charm and I won't even have to do anything~

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sciencebipches November 24 2011, 17:54:09 UTC
you say try like its somethin i could possibly fail at

wwell yeah certainly wwont be hard but as fef no you wwouldnt knoww her shes just a friend a mine kinda
i think wwere still friends anywway

considerin this place yeah id be surprised if there wwasnt this place has damn near evverythin

hahahaha you can hope rob but i dont knoww if you can compare to the his natural charm wwhat wwith him bein so small an grumpy

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hackintheaster November 26 2011, 04:44:39 UTC
Then you have me all wrong, sir. I say try like it's something you're putting effort into doing.

Is there a story there I should know about in case I randomly come across her?

Do you have any requests as far as things to do? I mean, my date-planning skills are above average, but I always love input.

What, you don't think I can be small and grumpy? I can be pretty grumpy. >:C

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sciencebipches November 26 2011, 19:25:57 UTC
hahah theres no effort wwhen im naturally this charmin

nothin you need to wworry about

none at all just amaze me wwith your plannin rob i mean if it IS abovve avverage an all

i dont doubt you can but its not the same

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hackintheaster November 30 2011, 18:13:30 UTC
Well that's good to know.

And whatever you say, man. As long as it won't be awkward like it was when that Sollux guy and I first met over the network.

Ohhhhh, okay then. Be prepared to have the best brodate of your entire life.

Ugh, fine. I'll just accept second place and forever mourn over my unrequited love.

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