(no subject)
I'm always amazed at how androgynous emo boys can be. It's amazing-- they all dress and (for the most part) act the same way, so it's impossible to feel out their sexual tendencies by simply glancing at them. You have to really watch those fuckers to even get a hint.
And if I were a skinny-ass bean pole of a guy, I would be such a queen. Oh my god, the more green nail polish I see, the more I want some. And eyeliner. And to straighten my hair and get it cut. I think I'll straighten and cut my hair anyway but... I'm totally just going to not eat and see how skinny I can get. It's a funny little game I'll play with myself. I think the pants I bought yesterday are too big. I didn't realize it then (maybe I'd just eaten or something...) but I pulled at the waist band a little today and noticed I probably could have gone down to a 34. I mean... that's always a good thing, but still.
I remember when I used to wear 40-42's. Yuck. Yuck yuck yuck. If I ever go back above a 36, I'm just going to give up and shoot myself. Or my love handles. Off my body.
Oh, but the pants I bought. Absolutely beautiful, I say. They appear to be regular khakis, but upon closer inspection and (the best part) FEELING, you discover that they are MICROFIBER! Ah, the silky smoothness of these pants on my legs is too much to handle! I had a pantgasm right in the middle of Banana Republic. AND they were on sale. Only $50.00, bitches-- yeah, you just wish you were me. So I bought those and some black pinstriped ones. And two shirts at $20.00 a piece. The shirts are both... straight cut, short sleeve/button ups, kind of Hawaiian-styled, you know? And they kind of look like that (d'oh... that's not supposed to happen), but they'll be fun to wear in summer next year. It was an end of summer sale, after all.
I've bought so many new clothes since we got out of school. I'll be sad when I can't wear them anymore because I'm too tiny. Actually... no I won't. Because I'll be tiny. I think I'm going to work on toning up, though-- at least chest and ab-wise. I keep swearing up and down that I'll go to the Y, but I never do. I need to start going every day and just making myself work. It'll pay off after just a month, I'm sure. And then SPE will start, anyway, and I'll need to be in shape for that. I look at Davis and Charles and die at their bodies. They have the perfect, not-too-skinny-not-too-wide, built-like-a-fucking-brick bodies. And they're twins. Twins, I tell you. And gorgeous. And sweethearts, oh my god. It's impossible to describe how perfect they are. How goofy and perfect they are.
That's okay. I'd rather get with a certain someone else, anyway.
Alexa, I keep thinking of how dude-man dresses, the way you were saying he layers up, and I keep thinking that that's what I need to do. So I think I'm going to try that. And I have some new white T-shirts, so those won't be the problem anymore (oh my god, folks, I was wearing a Large white undershirt with my medium regular shirt-- not a good idea.) I need to go buy a brown shirt for this button-up I have, because... it has green and brown in it, and no white, so wearing a white undershit with it looks hoaky. But I wore it today and just said "fuck it," because I was in the mood to wear my new clothes. I'd like to wear my black pin-stripes tomorrow, but I have no black shoes to wear with them. In this book I'm reading this guy has black platforms, and that makes me giggle. I wouldn't be able to handle platforms. I'm simply not that kind of queen. But those heels I had were quite hysterical.
And if you've read this far, I'm going to take a poll. I've been thinking long and hard about what I want to do for my senior recital, and even though I already have all this music picked out and crap, I don't think I want to do a run-of-the-mill performance (if I can avoid it.) Since in the future I would like to become a music director and conduct/organize the music in musical theatre performances, for my own senior recital I would like to do just that: put on a show. This would, of course, require a small number of performers (actor/singers)-- like 2 to 4, perhaps. I'm considering doing one of two Jason Robert Brown shows, because they have very difficult piano parts that I think would convince the music department teachers of their worthiness. And basically I'm suffering from no Nunsense stuff. I wish Nunsense hadn't fallen through. And so I really want to do a good show of my own.
What the hell. Ashley hasn't mailed back the Nunsense stuff. I could just do that.
But no. The Jason Robert Brown musicals are either "The Last 5 Years," which has a trio (I think) of piano, violin and cello or "Songs for a New World" which has a band consisting of many different things-- percussion, bass (guitar), some reed instruments, a keyboard. I know I can find the full vocal score, instruments and all, online for "Songs for a New World" for about $50.00. Performance-wise, though, I'm not sure if I could put on a show without getting JRB's permission or the permission of those who have licensed the show. I'm sure they'd let me, royalties or not.
Anyway. Do you think it's a good idea? I'm not asking whether or not you think the teachers will let me do it (because even I think they'll say no)-- just whether or not you'd attempt it. I want to do something different.
Love. Hugs and kisses.
And if I were a skinny-ass bean pole of a guy, I would be such a queen. Oh my god, the more green nail polish I see, the more I want some. And eyeliner. And to straighten my hair and get it cut. I think I'll straighten and cut my hair anyway but... I'm totally just going to not eat and see how skinny I can get. It's a funny little game I'll play with myself. I think the pants I bought yesterday are too big. I didn't realize it then (maybe I'd just eaten or something...) but I pulled at the waist band a little today and noticed I probably could have gone down to a 34. I mean... that's always a good thing, but still.
I remember when I used to wear 40-42's. Yuck. Yuck yuck yuck. If I ever go back above a 36, I'm just going to give up and shoot myself. Or my love handles. Off my body.
Oh, but the pants I bought. Absolutely beautiful, I say. They appear to be regular khakis, but upon closer inspection and (the best part) FEELING, you discover that they are MICROFIBER! Ah, the silky smoothness of these pants on my legs is too much to handle! I had a pantgasm right in the middle of Banana Republic. AND they were on sale. Only $50.00, bitches-- yeah, you just wish you were me. So I bought those and some black pinstriped ones. And two shirts at $20.00 a piece. The shirts are both... straight cut, short sleeve/button ups, kind of Hawaiian-styled, you know? And they kind of look like that (d'oh... that's not supposed to happen), but they'll be fun to wear in summer next year. It was an end of summer sale, after all.
I've bought so many new clothes since we got out of school. I'll be sad when I can't wear them anymore because I'm too tiny. Actually... no I won't. Because I'll be tiny. I think I'm going to work on toning up, though-- at least chest and ab-wise. I keep swearing up and down that I'll go to the Y, but I never do. I need to start going every day and just making myself work. It'll pay off after just a month, I'm sure. And then SPE will start, anyway, and I'll need to be in shape for that. I look at Davis and Charles and die at their bodies. They have the perfect, not-too-skinny-not-too-wide, built-like-a-fucking-brick bodies. And they're twins. Twins, I tell you. And gorgeous. And sweethearts, oh my god. It's impossible to describe how perfect they are. How goofy and perfect they are.
That's okay. I'd rather get with a certain someone else, anyway.
Alexa, I keep thinking of how dude-man dresses, the way you were saying he layers up, and I keep thinking that that's what I need to do. So I think I'm going to try that. And I have some new white T-shirts, so those won't be the problem anymore (oh my god, folks, I was wearing a Large white undershirt with my medium regular shirt-- not a good idea.) I need to go buy a brown shirt for this button-up I have, because... it has green and brown in it, and no white, so wearing a white undershit with it looks hoaky. But I wore it today and just said "fuck it," because I was in the mood to wear my new clothes. I'd like to wear my black pin-stripes tomorrow, but I have no black shoes to wear with them. In this book I'm reading this guy has black platforms, and that makes me giggle. I wouldn't be able to handle platforms. I'm simply not that kind of queen. But those heels I had were quite hysterical.
And if you've read this far, I'm going to take a poll. I've been thinking long and hard about what I want to do for my senior recital, and even though I already have all this music picked out and crap, I don't think I want to do a run-of-the-mill performance (if I can avoid it.) Since in the future I would like to become a music director and conduct/organize the music in musical theatre performances, for my own senior recital I would like to do just that: put on a show. This would, of course, require a small number of performers (actor/singers)-- like 2 to 4, perhaps. I'm considering doing one of two Jason Robert Brown shows, because they have very difficult piano parts that I think would convince the music department teachers of their worthiness. And basically I'm suffering from no Nunsense stuff. I wish Nunsense hadn't fallen through. And so I really want to do a good show of my own.
What the hell. Ashley hasn't mailed back the Nunsense stuff. I could just do that.
But no. The Jason Robert Brown musicals are either "The Last 5 Years," which has a trio (I think) of piano, violin and cello or "Songs for a New World" which has a band consisting of many different things-- percussion, bass (guitar), some reed instruments, a keyboard. I know I can find the full vocal score, instruments and all, online for "Songs for a New World" for about $50.00. Performance-wise, though, I'm not sure if I could put on a show without getting JRB's permission or the permission of those who have licensed the show. I'm sure they'd let me, royalties or not.
Anyway. Do you think it's a good idea? I'm not asking whether or not you think the teachers will let me do it (because even I think they'll say no)-- just whether or not you'd attempt it. I want to do something different.
Love. Hugs and kisses.