its all part of a grander plan thats coming true.
update time... Not in the mood to talk about work, but to recap: I'm officially a NY state licensed real estate agent. hollerrrrrrrrr, haha no, but I took the test on the 31st, found out I passed 3 days after, so there's still a lot more ahead of me. blah blah blah, etc etc etc. I'm not gettin into work, thats all I ever seem to talk about here.
lesson learned: DON'T GIVE OFF MIXED SIGNALS.
sounds pretty obvious right? yeh, in my head i know that... Let me break this down, because it's probably not what you're thinking. I've come to terms that I'm not one of those annoying girls when i'm around guys. I've been secure with myself for awhile, so I really don't have to be a ditzy, front like I'm a bitch, slutty, give me attention type. Plus, I have a lot of guys friends. I'm pretty comfortable around them, so pretending I'm " ___ " would make no sense, and might I add it's pretty irritating to see let alone be. I'm sure all you girls can agree. We've all been out and seen "those girls" make a fool out of themselves, as we say "ughhh" just loud enough for ours and quite possibily for their ears to hear. Anyway, if a guy is attracted to me for whatever reason I can usually pick up on it. Sometimes I can't, because some guys are just naturally flirty and i'm probably in my own world not even thinking about picking somebody up. I don't go out purposely to find guys anyway. Whatever, I like to have a guy friends and I'm nice to them half the time anyway. If they start getting interested, and ask to hang out... yes, I'll hang out, but on the FRIENDS ONLY terms. My actions on the day of are pretty clear (at least I think so). I never make it a ONE on ONE. I never hang on him like I'm with him. He's there.. I'm there.. I know him.. He knows me.. thats pretty much the basics of what we have in common. I'm not ignoring him. We have a good time together, but as a friend. Sometimes I can't hang out, because I have other things I need to take care of.... I'm not blowing them off, I do have a busy life and sincerely apologize if I can't make it...which is why I always make it a group thing so he can have his fun regardless. No big deal right? Yeh, OKAYY. Here's the problem. He realizes I'm not interested. Some take it just fine - usually the mature ones who can take a hint. The others who expected something out of it, end up calling me, IMing me, whatever and saying they thought I was someone special, thought we had something, blah blah blah. Just because we're both single, we get along - laugh, have fun together, doesn't mean I'm into you or even that I'm looking. Yes, I enjoy your company, but it takes more than that for me to be interested. I realize that some girls are socially retarded when it comes to meeting someone of the opposite sex for the first time, but damn... I dunno, maybe I shouldn't laugh so much? Maybe I should put on some unattractive qualities and drive them away? I wanted a friend out of it, but some guys can't handle that. I guess that question, "can men and women really have a friendship" (however it goes) comes into play. I'm a firm believer they can, because I have guy friends... i think. Unless they're harboring feelings I don't know about, but I really doubt it. I'm nothing special. I'm aware that it's a maturity thing. Most boys my age are obviously incapable because thinking with their dick probably seems easier. I guess I just need to make it more clear to them. I mean, I understand how it can come off confusing. DUH. I just think at the time I have different ideas of what a friendship with a guy could be.... Most probably haven't even had the thought of good girlfriend - uh, friend thats a girl - dawn on them. Whatever, the lesson's learned. It's happened a few times, and I'm tired of guys thinking I'm leading them on when I never do, or hurting their feelings. I'll just have to make things a little more clearer and not expect to have a friendship out of it. Everyone's different.
Although its kind of funny to think about because I know a lot of guys who purposely do the same exact thing, with no regrets and pretty much to a level that breaks our heart. Some just love to lead girl's on knowingly and play with their heads. Maybe I've just been giving out payback...lol.
In other news: my lil grammy review + girly stuff
I'm so not a U2 fan. Although I listen to everything and your mom's shit (true story), they do nothing for me. If it works for someone else, by all means let me know the secret. I'm a big Gwen and Kanye fan, so of course I think either should have one. Their albums were awesome... and although Kanye's ego is riding on all that publicity garb he still has undeniable talent.
I missed the Christina Aguilera performance... which sucks. Anyone that knows me, knows I love her. I mean my tastes vary like no other, - no i'm lying there a lot of people that listen to everything and their moms too - but I have a thing for contemporary/R&B mixes.
I watched the preshow though... how awesome would it be to go to the grammys. I mean duh, but I wanna get all dressed up. Prom was gay because not just 1 but 2 other girls had my dress, so I need a recovery. I've been in a girly mindset lately. I bought 4 dresses the other day. I think its because I'm used to being couped up in trousers and button downs, that the professionalness is getting me bogged down. I can't wait for spring so I can actually wear them without a heavy coat to cover up their prettiness.
well that was a random... back to reality.
lesson learned: DON'T GIVE OFF MIXED SIGNALS.
sounds pretty obvious right? yeh, in my head i know that... Let me break this down, because it's probably not what you're thinking. I've come to terms that I'm not one of those annoying girls when i'm around guys. I've been secure with myself for awhile, so I really don't have to be a ditzy, front like I'm a bitch, slutty, give me attention type. Plus, I have a lot of guys friends. I'm pretty comfortable around them, so pretending I'm " ___ " would make no sense, and might I add it's pretty irritating to see let alone be. I'm sure all you girls can agree. We've all been out and seen "those girls" make a fool out of themselves, as we say "ughhh" just loud enough for ours and quite possibily for their ears to hear. Anyway, if a guy is attracted to me for whatever reason I can usually pick up on it. Sometimes I can't, because some guys are just naturally flirty and i'm probably in my own world not even thinking about picking somebody up. I don't go out purposely to find guys anyway. Whatever, I like to have a guy friends and I'm nice to them half the time anyway. If they start getting interested, and ask to hang out... yes, I'll hang out, but on the FRIENDS ONLY terms. My actions on the day of are pretty clear (at least I think so). I never make it a ONE on ONE. I never hang on him like I'm with him. He's there.. I'm there.. I know him.. He knows me.. thats pretty much the basics of what we have in common. I'm not ignoring him. We have a good time together, but as a friend. Sometimes I can't hang out, because I have other things I need to take care of.... I'm not blowing them off, I do have a busy life and sincerely apologize if I can't make it...which is why I always make it a group thing so he can have his fun regardless. No big deal right? Yeh, OKAYY. Here's the problem. He realizes I'm not interested. Some take it just fine - usually the mature ones who can take a hint. The others who expected something out of it, end up calling me, IMing me, whatever and saying they thought I was someone special, thought we had something, blah blah blah. Just because we're both single, we get along - laugh, have fun together, doesn't mean I'm into you or even that I'm looking. Yes, I enjoy your company, but it takes more than that for me to be interested. I realize that some girls are socially retarded when it comes to meeting someone of the opposite sex for the first time, but damn... I dunno, maybe I shouldn't laugh so much? Maybe I should put on some unattractive qualities and drive them away? I wanted a friend out of it, but some guys can't handle that. I guess that question, "can men and women really have a friendship" (however it goes) comes into play. I'm a firm believer they can, because I have guy friends... i think. Unless they're harboring feelings I don't know about, but I really doubt it. I'm nothing special. I'm aware that it's a maturity thing. Most boys my age are obviously incapable because thinking with their dick probably seems easier. I guess I just need to make it more clear to them. I mean, I understand how it can come off confusing. DUH. I just think at the time I have different ideas of what a friendship with a guy could be.... Most probably haven't even had the thought of good girlfriend - uh, friend thats a girl - dawn on them. Whatever, the lesson's learned. It's happened a few times, and I'm tired of guys thinking I'm leading them on when I never do, or hurting their feelings. I'll just have to make things a little more clearer and not expect to have a friendship out of it. Everyone's different.
Although its kind of funny to think about because I know a lot of guys who purposely do the same exact thing, with no regrets and pretty much to a level that breaks our heart. Some just love to lead girl's on knowingly and play with their heads. Maybe I've just been giving out payback...lol.
In other news: my lil grammy review + girly stuff
I'm so not a U2 fan. Although I listen to everything and your mom's shit (true story), they do nothing for me. If it works for someone else, by all means let me know the secret. I'm a big Gwen and Kanye fan, so of course I think either should have one. Their albums were awesome... and although Kanye's ego is riding on all that publicity garb he still has undeniable talent.
I missed the Christina Aguilera performance... which sucks. Anyone that knows me, knows I love her. I mean my tastes vary like no other, - no i'm lying there a lot of people that listen to everything and their moms too - but I have a thing for contemporary/R&B mixes.
I watched the preshow though... how awesome would it be to go to the grammys. I mean duh, but I wanna get all dressed up. Prom was gay because not just 1 but 2 other girls had my dress, so I need a recovery. I've been in a girly mindset lately. I bought 4 dresses the other day. I think its because I'm used to being couped up in trousers and button downs, that the professionalness is getting me bogged down. I can't wait for spring so I can actually wear them without a heavy coat to cover up their prettiness.
well that was a random... back to reality.