i wish i was 8 again because all you had to do was tag me and i was it
So today, as many of you know, was my party. I was cool I guess. I don't know what to say about it. People came we chilled, broke a swing, broke a hamick, ya know same old same old. Then everyone went for a swim. Even if they were in their clothes. Sean was first in. He didnt wear his bathingsuit haha. He just jumped in in his shorts and a tee shirt. Um then I went in and other people joined/ were pulled in. It was cool. We played truth or dare. It wasn't cool because it just died. But Kerry came and I was plesently surprised. I loved her hair. I missed her a lot. Thanks for coming Tiff heh. My mother didn't approve of a lot of stuff that we did but whatever. If my mother had known of the things I do/say when the lights are off the doors are closed and the music blasted- she'd be ashamed. So yea that was cool. And I hugged Joe before him and sean walked home. And Lauren Kris and Alyssa stayed for that nakedness of the after party haha. Its 9:13 on Monday June 28th and I would like you to know- I'm naked. Haha. Fake organism noices haha. Good times...
But, the last few days I've realized a lot. Like there are some things not worth holding on to and some worth. And there are some people only meant to be your friend. Sometimes you realize the more you get to know some one the less they mean to you and the less perfect they truely are. They aren't a bad person, but not right. Not worth holding on to in a sense. Holding on to the feelings you have for them at least.
I've also realized you need to give people a chance before you can just lable them. I've met/gotton to know would be more approprate, two people. And they aren't at all how I thought of them. And I didn't even know them and I just decided that I could judge them.
But I've also reunited with some one. And I know I've said in the past I've hated him- but I read an only journal enrty that said something along the lines of "There will always be a part of me that wants to need you and wants to love you and wants to hold on". And you still have a piece of me. You still have that piece of me that laughs, that smiles, thats crys, that loves, that I cherish. That peice of me that I hope you always have because although I'm missing a piece of me, I know that you will fill in the missing pieces. Maybe I'm just reading into things that arent written but I know I still miss you. I'll always miss you. I'll always hold on. I could never forget you. Honestly I could forget everything, and yet still there would be that part of me, the part you still have, that part of me would remember you. And cherish you. And love you. I guess sometimes I forget how special you are. I guess sometimes I don't want to remember... Because it hurts. Because I don't think you remember how special I was.