white paint by any other name would still be white.

[schneptune]

The Deutsch and I decided that the remodeled bathroom would be white. White to show off the lovely colors in the slate shower and the ash vanity and contrast with the dark gray grout between the Arctic White hex tiles on the floor. I knew there was a bewildering blizzard of "white" paints out there, so I planned to neatly sidestep the question by asking for "plain white". Primer white. Whitewash white. The white that sits there patiently in all those gallon cans lined up on racks in the hardware store, waiting to be blended with a few drops of color to become one of the fancy-pants whites. I knew this would not be easy, and I would be scoffed at, and there would need to be some perseverance. I wanted to be like Sue in The Interior Life, bend the paint-counter guy to my will, and paint the walls a color that would provide a perfect setting for the furnishings and fixtures for which we are paying through the God damned nose.

I was nixed on this by the Deutsch, who informed me that that base white is not necessarily what I think it is--any thoughts on this, dear reader?--and brought me a selection of paint chips. Mind you, this is only a selection:

Mayonnaise
White Blush
Capri Coast
Indian White
Moonlight White
Easter Lily
White Chocolate
Minced Onion
Mountain Peak White
Cotton Balls
Bavarian Cream
Alpine White
Winter White
Calm
Classic Gray (this is a white?)
Winds Breath
Titanium
November Rain
Intense White
Gray Owl

Those are just the WARM ones. From ONE brand.

Horizon
White Wisp
Paper White
Moonshine
White Heron
White Ice
Vanilla Milkshake
Icicle
White Diamond
Baby's Breath
Winter Snow
Pure White (it looks slightly gray to me, but maybe that's just snowblindness on my part)
Chantilly Lace
Snow White
Ice Mist
Distant Gray

OH MY GOODNESS. We are not through yet:

Calm Beige
Linen
Birch Park
Classic Coral
Algonquin
Chinchilla
Micro Tan
Premier Peach
Somoya
Distant White
Casa Blanca
Bone White
Antique White
Light Navajo White
Fine China
Beachside
Contemporary White (that's right out)
White Mosaic
Dusty Ivory
High Hiding White (intriguing)
St. Cloud
Gentle Buff
Safe 'n Sound
Quiet White
Gently Gray
Heavenly Sand
Savannah
White Marsh

(huff huff)

They're...closing in...I feel so...deliciously warm...maybe I'll just sit and...rest for a minute...

Props to the Yarn Harlot, who handled this elegantly by asking the paint purveyors at her local store to just choose one, until they caved and sold her a random white, a white so minutely different from all the other whites that her confidence that it wouldn't matter was vindicated. If I get too much guff from the local guys, I may go this route.