(no subject)
My grandfather died one week ago today. Sucks.
The trip back home was good in some respects....bad in others. Seeing my dad after a year and a half. No one can make me cry by just looking at me like he can. And I definitely did. He walked me up to the check in when I left, and stood there until I went through the x-ray, and I had to blink really fast for like five minutes to not cry like a little girl. I don't know why.....it just is.
I haven't really processed my grandfather's death, knowing that I probably will not see those members of my family ever again since both grandparents are now gone, and I live so far away.
It is weird going back to Iowa. Part of me feels this is home, part of me thinks it is not. It is not so bad going to Ames, but in Northwest Iowa, it all comes screaming into my brain.
I don't know what to do with all the chaos in my head.
I really want to talk to James about this for some reason. I like that boy. Wish I didn't.
The trip back home was good in some respects....bad in others. Seeing my dad after a year and a half. No one can make me cry by just looking at me like he can. And I definitely did. He walked me up to the check in when I left, and stood there until I went through the x-ray, and I had to blink really fast for like five minutes to not cry like a little girl. I don't know why.....it just is.
I haven't really processed my grandfather's death, knowing that I probably will not see those members of my family ever again since both grandparents are now gone, and I live so far away.
It is weird going back to Iowa. Part of me feels this is home, part of me thinks it is not. It is not so bad going to Ames, but in Northwest Iowa, it all comes screaming into my brain.
I don't know what to do with all the chaos in my head.
I really want to talk to James about this for some reason. I like that boy. Wish I didn't.