Merry Country Christmas
I'm going to Chicago next week, and I'm real excited. Davis says he'll show me how to go to an interview hung-over like a real Northwestern kid! I want to go to H & M too, because their bras fit me like a proverbial glove. That sounds kinda pervy when you really think about it.
Have you ever heard the song "The Christmas Shoes"? There is a local radio station, which I sometimes listen to for the sake of Delilah, and they're already playing Xmas tunes. I just heard this godawful song for the first and second time this week, and my god. My god. I like Christmas music almost as much as that annoying bitch from the motion picture Prancer. I even like remakes, such as Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas is You." But when "artists" turn to fabricating incidents to exemplify how god gives people cancer to teach other people the meaning of Christmas, I just want to be Jewish so badly. Here are the lyrics, just in case you want to feel better about your own crappy poetry or something:
"It was almost Christmas time; there I stood in another line
Tryin' to buy that last gift or two, not really in the Christmas mood.
Standing right in front of me was a little boy waiting anxiously,
Pacing 'round like little boys do,
And in his hands he held a pair of shoes.
His clothes were worn and old; he was dirty from head to toe,
And when it came his time to pay,
I couldn't believe what I heard him say.
Chorus: Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please.
It's Christmas Eve, and these shoes are just her size.
Could you hurry, sir? Daddy says there's not much time.
You see she's been sick for quite a while,
And I know these shoes would make her smile,
And I want her to look beautiful, if Mama meets Jesus tonight.
He counted pennies for what seemed like years.
Then the cashier said, "Son, there's not enough here."
He searched his pockets frantically.
Then he turned, and he looked at me.
He said 'Mama made Christmas good at our house,
Though most years she just did without.
Tell me, Sir, what am I going to do?
Somehow I've got to buy her these Christmas shoes.'
So I laid the money down; I just had to help him out.
I'll never forget the look on his face when he said
'Mama's gonna look so great.'
[Chorus]
I knew I'd caught a glimpse of heaven's love
As he thanked me and ran out.
I knew that God had sent that little boy
To remind me just what Christmas is all about."
Fuck that shit, bitch.
Have you ever heard the song "The Christmas Shoes"? There is a local radio station, which I sometimes listen to for the sake of Delilah, and they're already playing Xmas tunes. I just heard this godawful song for the first and second time this week, and my god. My god. I like Christmas music almost as much as that annoying bitch from the motion picture Prancer. I even like remakes, such as Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas is You." But when "artists" turn to fabricating incidents to exemplify how god gives people cancer to teach other people the meaning of Christmas, I just want to be Jewish so badly. Here are the lyrics, just in case you want to feel better about your own crappy poetry or something:
"It was almost Christmas time; there I stood in another line
Tryin' to buy that last gift or two, not really in the Christmas mood.
Standing right in front of me was a little boy waiting anxiously,
Pacing 'round like little boys do,
And in his hands he held a pair of shoes.
His clothes were worn and old; he was dirty from head to toe,
And when it came his time to pay,
I couldn't believe what I heard him say.
Chorus: Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please.
It's Christmas Eve, and these shoes are just her size.
Could you hurry, sir? Daddy says there's not much time.
You see she's been sick for quite a while,
And I know these shoes would make her smile,
And I want her to look beautiful, if Mama meets Jesus tonight.
He counted pennies for what seemed like years.
Then the cashier said, "Son, there's not enough here."
He searched his pockets frantically.
Then he turned, and he looked at me.
He said 'Mama made Christmas good at our house,
Though most years she just did without.
Tell me, Sir, what am I going to do?
Somehow I've got to buy her these Christmas shoes.'
So I laid the money down; I just had to help him out.
I'll never forget the look on his face when he said
'Mama's gonna look so great.'
[Chorus]
I knew I'd caught a glimpse of heaven's love
As he thanked me and ran out.
I knew that God had sent that little boy
To remind me just what Christmas is all about."
Fuck that shit, bitch.