To The End
It hasn't even been a month, and I'm already starting to feel the toll of loneliness and depression.
I can't say that I don't fit in here, but I can't say that I do, either. I don't think I've ever fit in, even in high school.
The one thing that I've learned here was that when I was told that I'll do well on my own since I've had to take care of myself for so long, they were lying. That all of the kids who had everything handed to them on a golden platter, who have had the easy life, won't ever stumble. They won't ever fall apart when they finally have to "think for themselves" they'll never have to struggle. Its always going to be easy for them, they're always going to have the one-up.
I've tried to remember that this is all relative, that my struggling will all be for a good reason, that there will be some greater outcome, that my scale of time is skewed, but its hard. I just want to give up. I wish I could.
But codeine isn't strong enough to make everything stop hurting.
I can't say that I don't fit in here, but I can't say that I do, either. I don't think I've ever fit in, even in high school.
The one thing that I've learned here was that when I was told that I'll do well on my own since I've had to take care of myself for so long, they were lying. That all of the kids who had everything handed to them on a golden platter, who have had the easy life, won't ever stumble. They won't ever fall apart when they finally have to "think for themselves" they'll never have to struggle. Its always going to be easy for them, they're always going to have the one-up.
I've tried to remember that this is all relative, that my struggling will all be for a good reason, that there will be some greater outcome, that my scale of time is skewed, but its hard. I just want to give up. I wish I could.
But codeine isn't strong enough to make everything stop hurting.