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Tooth For Tooth::Ch. 1-4

Sep 07, 2011 22:55



Table of Contents


Chapter 1. The Escape

Table of Contents


1.1. Duct Taped

Teenagers Carly, Freddie, and Sam were sitting on a couch, tied to it by means of extra-broad duct tape.[ duct taped]

The culprits, refugees from Washington State Prison, have escaped. They had abused the naïvity of Carly's brother Spencer in order to escape from Washington State Prison, using a giant artifact built together with the artist like a trojan horse from the good old times of Homer's Ulysses.

Spencer was now gone shopping to Schneider's Bakery in order to buy Armenian bread and meet a girl interested in his banjo music.

Freddie, Carly, and Sam kept on disputing in this position until dawn.

Spencer was finally back from the date with the girl. It had taken him all night, yet for no fathomable avail. Now he released his sister and her friends from their “comfortable” positions.

Carly and her friends were upset.

At least Spencer had already purchased the morning issue of Seattle Times.

Fredward Benson started reading. “The criminals belong to the gang of Milo Creery, the father of organised crime in Los Angeles.”

Spencer gasped. “Oh no!”

Freddie and Sam glared at the Shay siblings. “Who is Milo?”

Carly explained, “well, Milo Creery had once kidnapped and almost disposed with my cousin Jared Drake and his step-brother Joshuah. But the police had been informed somehow and saved my cousins, locking Milo Creery away for the next twenty years.” She omited mentioning her cousin Megan.

Megan and Carly looked very similar.

In addition, Carly omitted mentioning the surname of her cousin.

He was no other but Drake Parker, the most promising teenage poprock band leader of southern California.

Samantha Puckett was a fangirl of Drake.

The door bell rang.

Spencer opened.

For all cases, Sam hid behind the door, holding aloft a huge iron hammer.

There was Mrs. Benson, mother of Fredward and annoying matron next door. She had been missing her son during the whole night. Now she was upset. “Fredward! Why have you not come home? I've been worried to death!”

Carly protested, “Marissa, you've got a second key. You could have come in order to free us.”

“From what?” wondered Mrs. Benson

Carly had to tell her the whole story.

Mrs. Benson gasped. “Oh my gosh! Fredward, you won't leave our apartment any time soon, until …”

Freddie was consternated. “Carly, why did you have to tell mom?”

Sam shrugged.

Spencer tried to protest against being called a bad guardian for Carly.

“Sam,” wondered Marissa, “did your mom not miss you?”

Sam chuckled hysterically. “Mom couldn't care any less. Besides, she's more worried about her upcoming beauty surgery than anything else. She wants to look like twenty.” Sam shrugged. “Her surgeon, Quinn Pensky, has invented a new means against shriveling face skin. This is her business card, you seem to need it, too.”

Marissa Benson looked consternated. “How dare you! I do look like twenty something.”

Spencer could not hesitate any longer. He had to warn his cousins in San Diego. He grabbed his phone and walked into the loo. He also needed to get shaved and shampooed, and also change his undergarment.

The door bell rang out again.

Carly opened the door.

Officer Carl[ officer carl] and Stu Staimbler[ staimbler] stumbled in. “Where is Spencer Shay?”

Carly replied, “in the bathroom.”

Staimbler produced his handcuffs.

Officer Carl bellowed, “he's under arrest for helping prisoners to escape from prison.”

Carly protested, “hey! He didn't want to help them! He's just involved …”

Carly's objections were for naught.

Staimbler broke into the loo and handcuffed Spencer, grinning diabolically.

Mrs. Benson decided, “I will take care of Carly until then.”

Carly choked.

Carl praised Marissa for her heroic self-sacrifice in order to take care of an endangered neighbour's kid.

Carly grunted silently for excruciating disgust. She was now equally grounded, due to the threat posed by Milo Creery and his gang.

Spencer bitched and moaned, equally for no avail. He was half naked and shampooed, and now handcuffed.

This was no good situation.

Spencer's cellular phone was lying in the toilet, having turned useless.

Carly was now also urged to call Drake and Josh again. She also needed to inform her grandfather, a retired lawyer.

But he was certainly going to return to the court in order to help out his grandson.

1.2. Shock In The Parker-Nichols Residence

Megan Parker walked downstairs in order to tell her “boobs”, viz. Jared Drake Parker and Joshuah Nichols, about the news. “Milo Creery's henchmen are loose.”

Josh twitched like an electric eel.

Drake looked aghast. “Who was Milo Creery?”

Josh had to repeat it. “The guy who kidnapped us in Los Angelos. He was faking dollar bills.”

Finally Drake remembered. “The guy's a criminal.”

Megan nodded. “Drake's stupidity is criminal, too!”

Drake gasped. “What did she say?”

Megan continued, “we need to be very careful. Milo's men are most likely out for getting back at us.”

Josh squealed like a fury, “I don't want to get locked up again by Milo Creery.”

Megan grabbed him. “None of us does! But I suggest to ask Helen Baxter for help.”

Helen was the owner of a famous cinema house in uptown San Diego, named Première Theater.

Josh was working there on and off.

Drake beamed, “yeah, she's the only woman I know able to scare rough boys.”

Josh was not at ease.

Helen used to treat him like dirt.

But he hadn't got any better idea.

1.3. Parole

Grandpa Shay had negotiated with Officer Carl, allowing for Spencer to get released upon parole.

Carly sighed with relief.

Marissa Benson was a terrible foster mom.

Sam was just taking a shower. She hated showers.

But the new shower soap smelled so nice, almost like ham.

Freddie shook his head. “Sam is occupying the shower for over half an hour by now.”

Carly calmed him down. “Let her be! Sam needs to go to Dr. Wheeler in the afternoon. She finally gets a new artificial crown for her broken molar.”

Sam grunted, “Dr. Wheeler is going to pay for it. A tooth for a tooth!”

Carly chuckled. But she was not happy about Drake's, Josh's, and Megan's situation. “Milo Creery propably thinks about making them pay, too. A tooth for a tooth …”

1.4. At teh Dentist's

Sam was now proudly equipped with a new tooth tip. She grinned. “Now I may bite Gibby and Freddie much harder! But Wheeler is still due.”

Alas, Wheeler diagnosed a strange allergy of Samantha's to certain medications used for broken teeth. “You should go to an expert for allergies for that.”

Sam shivered, thinking “more meds? More syringes and gas?” She moaned for disgust. But she was not really worried by the allergies.

M. Wheeler asked, “OK, how do you want to pay the bill?”

“Not at all,” grunted Sam.

Dr. Wheeler looked angry.

Sam moaned, “send the bill to 8D, Bushwell Plaza!”

This “happened to be” the apartment of the Benson family.

“OK, I'll do,” replied the dentist.

Sam walked away, clenching her fists.

1.5. Uncle Carmine

In order to get back at the dentist, Sam was about consulting her uncle Carmine[ carmine].

The mid-aged man was already waiting for his niece.

Carly, of course, had no clue about Sam's intentions.

Sam greeted her uncle. “OK, Wheeler has fumbled wuith my teeth. That's not acceptable.”

Carmine nodded. “OK, that cries for revenge.”

Sam grinned. “Do you know Milo Creery? The guy whose henchmen have escaped from prison.”

Carmine had, of course, already heard about the escape. He went pale like a snowman. “Sam …” He couldn't help but stammer aimlessly.

Sam grunted, “Carmine? There is something fishy!”

Carmine shook his head.

But Sam did not fall for her uncle's attempts of distraction.

Carmine finally gave in. “OK, Sam, don't talk about it to anyone, but … Milo Creery is your father!”

Consternated Sam startled.

The chief money faker had once changed his name in an attempt of hiding from the FBI.

Of course, Sam had learned her skills in faking money[ money faker] from Milo. And she was proud of those. Yes, she could not tell Carly, Freddie, or Spencer, let alone Marissa Benson, about her familiar relationship to Milo. But for how long was she going to be able to deny it?

Sam asked, “do dad's henchmen know about me being Milo's daughter?”

Carmine shook his head. “Otherwise, they would have taken you along with them, right on site, instead of getting you tied to Spencer's couch, along with your goody-two-shoes friends.” He was indeed more thoroughly involved in the scandalous business of Milo Creery, well, he was even the planner of the escape of Milo's henchman from Seattle's gaol, thinking “Sopncer Shay is so totally easy to fool and to use.” But he did not tell Sam about everything.

Sam did not know what to do. On the one hand, she wanted to see her dad again, after so long time, and give him a demo of her honed skills in lock picking and other things learned from him, including her ability of distracting security cameras with fake movies. She was an expert for motion picture technology, short" “MPEG”.[ sams interest in mpeg]

On the other hand, Carly was hardly going to approve of her “best friend” ganging up with a master criminal.

Thus Sam was going to dance on the knife's edge for the next time.

1.6. Sam Helps Dad

Sam was now on her way home.

Suddenly, a car halted next to her.

A guy from within the car told Sam to wait a moment.

Sam was ready for punching the nose of the annoying passenger into oblivion.

But then the guy appeared familiar. He was one of the refugees, down to Spencer's exorbitant folly. “Samantha Puckett, right?”

Sam nodded, bellowing “The one and only.”

The stranger grinned. “Are you missing your dad? I may take you to him.”

Sam switched to talking in whispers. “Sure! But my friends would notice. I'm already late as it is.”

The filthy guy giggled. “OK, not right now. But tomorrow night? You'd be back ere the rise of sun.” He chuckled mercilessly.

Sam agreed. “OK! At 9 p.m. in front of Hotel Chambrolay[ chambrolay] ?”

The dubious figure in the car nodded solemnly.

Samantha should have had remorses for being up to sneaking all this past her “best friends”. But now she didn't care any longer. She was too excited about the prospects of seeing her daddy again … after quite a few years.

[ duct taped] in iCarly : iThink They Kissed.

[ officer carl] from iCarly : iWant More Viewers

[ staimbler] from iCarly : iStake Out

[ carmine] mentioned in iCarly : iTwins

identified with Carmine from Zoey 101 : Walkathon

[ money faker] cf. iCarly : iGot A Hot Room

[ sams interest in mpeg] cf. iCarly : iStake Out

[ chambrolay] mentioned in iCarly : iRocked The Votes

Its branch near Los Angeles is seen in Drake & Josh : Drake and Josh Go Hollywood.

Its branch in Hawaii is mentioned in Zoey 101 : Chasing Zoey

Chapter 2. Samantha's Daddy

Table of Contents


2.1. The morning after

The plan of the creepy guys had worked out well.

Sam was back at Carly Shay's loft right before sunrise.

Carly and Spencer had not even noticed a thing about the whole mess.

The latter was now working on his new sculpture about the overmechanisation of modern human life.

Carly was about preparing breakfast.

Freddie had just come in, too. “Carly, will you take me to this year's ‘girls' choice’?”

Carly shook her head. “I've got someone else in mind.”

“Wow! Who's the lucky one?” wondered Sam.

Carly replied, “it's Nate Garmer[ nate garmer] , the hot junior.”

Sam grinned. “Carly is classy, she doesn't just ask out the noob next door.”

Freddie grunted for disgust and jealousy.

Samantha remarked, “Carly, the dentist has detected some strange allergy. I should go to a medic.”

Spencer suggested, “Dr. Dresdin[ dr dresdin] just lives downstairs.”

Sam shook her head. “I better ask my mom's plastic surgeon[ plastic surgeon] . She's quite unusual, just more geeky than Fredcrap.”

Carly nodded. “That's OK, then go to her!”

Sam begged, “come with me! All alone I'm afraid of syringes.”

Carly moaned, “if you really need that.”

Spencer turned the TV set on in order to watch TVS Breakfast News[ tvs].

Producer Brad Eichman[ brad eichman] announced, “ladies and gentlemen, there are some shocking news. I pass the micro straight to our expert for bad incidents, Jeremiah Trottman.”

A freaky reporter appeared on the screen.

Good morning, Brad!

We are here right in front of National Prison.

The staff is in panic.

During the night, three of the most dangerous criminals of the United States have escaped.

Their head is no other than Milo Creery, the biggest counterfeiter of the nation.

Sam had got a hard time hiding her pride.

Spencer and Carly were consternated.

Drake, Josh, and Megan were now in a much worse situation than before.

It is not known how this was possible.

But, among other things, some of the guards had been distracted by some blond teenager girl.

A better description is noot yet available.

The security cameras have been fooled by phantom pictures.

And the guards are still under shock.

We're going to keep you informed.

This was TVS news, Jerenmiah Trottman!

Sam gasped.

But the description was too vague.

There were too many blond teenage girls living at the Pacific coast.

Nobody had hitherto been able to identify Samantha Puckett as the very culprit. And barely anyone had got a reason for that.

2.2. Melanie[ melanie] is shocked

Samantha Puckett was not the only child of master criminal Milo Creery.

There was also Melanie, a seemingly nice girl studying at “Pacific Coast Academy”, a noble prep school not far from the gates of the restless megalopolis of Los Angeles.

The campus of Melanie's school was located down by the sandy beach of Malibu.

Samantha had been studying here on parole, like four years ago. She had been enrolled under a pseudonym: “Trisha Kirby”. But she got expelled pretty fast due to her perverted demeanour. She had especially provoked the wrath of resident Mary Sue Zoey Brooks.

The latter had been concerned about Trisha seducing Zoey's little brother Dustin. Zoey was exorbitantly overprotective.

Ever since, Melanie had been alone at “Pacific Coast Academy”. This morning, she had watched breakfast TV, as well. She was now consternated.

The pictures of Milo Creery had clearly identified him as Melanie's dad.

Mel had not known about this name prior to this day, but she had known about her dad's multiple verdicts and high-security prison.

The identity was thus pretty much believable for Samantha's lookalike.

Due to the surprise, Melanie cried silently, “dad!”

Fortunately, nobody was listening, right?

Melanie was a bit consternated.

According to her conclusions, Sam must have been the blond girl helping their dad to escape from security prison.

Melanie would have liked to see her dad again. Thus she envied Sam. But she would not have helped a bunch of henchman to help her dad escape from rightfully deserved prison.

Even worse, future witnesses could give a closer description of the girl assisting in the breakaway.

And then Melanie was in danger of getting confused with her monocygotic twin sister Samantha and get into legal trouble. What was she supposed to do now?

In addition, Milo and his henchmen were now not unlikely to come and contact Melanie, as well.

This was not a fun thing to think about.

Melanie did not want to get dragged into the whole swamp of organised crime.

This had been the reason for the state of Washington to send the Puckett girls to “Pacific Coast Academy” in the first place.

Melanie had been accomodated pretty fast to life at the elitary boarding school. And she was not willing to give up on all of this just because of Samantha's stupidity. But she did not want to backstab family members without need.

2.3. Samantha's Allergy

Carly and Sam arrived in some silent corner in the backstreets of Seattle.

Carly wondered, “are you sure? This doesn't look like a medic's.”

Sam grunted, “Hey Carly! Some msurgeons don't waste the money of their customers on expensive treatment rooms.”

Carly shrugged carelessly. She had not really got a good feeling about all that and started shivering.

A nerdy figure moved in the shades. “Sam!”

Sam grinned. “Quinn! This is my friend Carly. I need her as a backup for all cases.”

Quinn Pensky, a teenage girl, shook hands with Carly.

Her low age gave Carly additional creeps.

Carly wondered, “have you really graduated from med school?”

Quinn shook her head. “I'm studying at nearby Washington Institute for Technology, with majors in nuclear physics and organic chemistry. But I've got my license as a depty from Dr. Hollywood[ dr hollywood]”

Sam grinned. “She has recently lasered my mom's eyes.[ eye lasering of sams mom] Now she looks a lot more dangerous.”

Carly shivered more and more.

Quinn started examining Sam. She looked at some informal note from Dr. Wheeler. “Yeah, this is a strange variant of that allergy. And you know what's particularly strange?”

Sam guessed, “it's not an allergy to ham?”

Carly chuckled.

Quinn grinned. “Certainly it isn't.”

Sam sighed for relief.

Quinn stated, “this sort of allergy is completely unknown in girls that have not yet been preganant. It takes between three and six years to develop.”

Sam gasped and went pale. She stammered stupidly.

Carly was puzzled.

Sam had pretended to not even have kissed a boy before Fredward Benson, and that perversity had been happening just a few months ago, just to get over with it and to appear cool.[ kiss of sam and freddie] A few years ago, Sam had just been a tween girl.

Carly panted heavily, “Sam, have you lied to me? You've touched boys before Freddie?”

Quinn did not want to interrupt the bickering of the friends.

Sam finally admitted, “yes, I have been pregnant a few years ago. So what?”

Quinn looked fopr a way to escape from the scene. But this was not possibkle in this moment. “I'm going to develop a pill against this allergy. See you later!” She smiled and withdrew into some nearby silent corner with her portable laboratory.

Sam and Carly were now almost left alone.

Quinn added from afar, “it will be done until tomorrow after supper. See you!”

Sam heard Quinn's remark. She was still not willing to give Carly an explanation.

Carly grabbed her “best friend” and shook her violently.

Finally, Samantha admitted, “I was pregnant at the age of twelve.”

“Where's your kid?” wondered Carly.

Sam replied, “aborted. That happens in the best families, you know. The baby wanted to die.”

Carly panted heavily. “It was a living being with hopes and dreams. You could have got it adopted by some adult couple wishing for a baby. You baby murderer!”

Sam grunted, “no way! Too much of a hassle! And the elder sister of the baby's father would have killed me when knowing about the baby.”

Carly sighed deeply. “Elder siblings can be so protective. Spencer would certanly have done something like that, concluding to his attitude towarrds Griffin[ 1] .”

All these news were too much for Carly to bear in one strike.

Thus she refrained from asking Sam any further at this point.

But this was not Carly's last word about the whole dirty affair.

Of course, Sam expected Carly to refrain from talking about the whole mess to Spencer and Fredward.

2.4. Zoey and Missy

Melissa Robinson, usually nicked as “Missy”, had been Carly's best friend before the latter's move from Seal Beach, a place in Southern California, to Seattle.

Her father was now back to Seattle.

Missy had tried to become close to Carly again, but she had found Sam in her way. Missy had recognised Samantha Puckett's exorbitantly bad influence on Carly, and she had tried to get rid of Sam, but she had failed miserable. Giving up on that mission, she begged her dad to send her to “Pacific Coast Academy” for school.

But the recent news about the escape of Milo Creery had changed the situation.

Melissa Robinson's dormitory room was adjacent to Melanie Puckett's.

Missy had accidentally heard Melanie talking in her sleep, mentioning the words daddy and Milo in one breath. She concluded fast: The blond teenage girl helping Milo's escape must have been no other than Samantha Puckett, or Trisha Kirby, whatever was preferred by her fellow students.

Dustin Brooks, the brother of Trisha's formerly worst enemy, was still around.

Melissa needed some ally in order to strike back at Samantha Puckett and to save Carly Shay from corruption and decadence.

Excessively popular barbie-like Mary-Sue Zoey Brooks, by now a student at some southern Californian college, would have been a great ally.

Missy did not hesitate composing a message for Zoey.

[ nate garmer] Nate Garmer appears in iCarly : iSpeeddate.

The whole ‘girls' choice’ event is also from that episode.

[ dr dresdin] Dr. Dresdin appears in iCarly : iFight Shelby Marx.

[ plastic surgeon] According to iCarly : iTake On Dingo, Samantha's mother has got a regular plastioc surgeon.

[ tvs] TVS is the broadcasting corporation appearing in iCarly : iCarly Saves TV.

[ brad eichman] Brad appears in iCarly : iCarly Saves TV.

Principal Eichman is a cameo from Victorious : Pilot.

Bot of these characters portrayed by same actor are identified in this story.

[ melanie] Melanie Puckett is from iCarly : iTwins.

[ dr hollywood] Dr. Hollywood has got several cameos throughout Big Time Rush.

[ eye lasering of sams mom] Samantha's mother gets her eyes lasered in iCarly : iMust Hve Locker 239.

[ kiss of sam and freddie] cf. iCarly : “iKiss”

[ 1] Griffin is from iCarly : iDate A Bad Boy.

Chapter 3. Trouble Rising

Table of Contents


3.1. Breakfast at PCA

Most of the students of “Pacific Coast Academy” were now sitting together in the cafeteria of the school, awaiting or sjust having their breakfast.

Dustin Brooks shared a table with his roomies Reuben Thomas[ reuben] and Robert “Scooter” Carmichael[ scooter].

Reuben was talking in a self-made language, barely understood by many other people. He had once lived in Seattle and visited Ridgeway, i.e. the same school as Carly, Fredward, and Samantha. He had once got a crush on Samantha, aka Trisha.

But the naughty lass had just treated him like dirt.

Robbie was a bit annoying and hyperactive. He was from San Diego, and even a neighbourhood kid of aforementioned Drake, Josh, and Megan.

Their class mate Ashley Blake[ ashley blake] walked past them. She was a friend of Megan Parker. She had been a famous tweenie star at Hollywood. Now she was a bit struggling. She was not a great character actor, but she impressed totally with her posures and gestures. “Dustin,” yelled the girl, “are you selling pictures of my bra on the interweb?”

Dustin choked. He wstammered., “er … why would I?”

Ashley croaked arrogantly, “woe to you if you require less for my bra than for Lola's!”

Lola Martinez was a Hollywood star actor. She was the best friend of aforementioned Zoey.

Alas, Ashley's big brother, star quarterback Vincent Blake, was dating said Lola Martinez.

This caused quite a few troubles underneath.

Dustin shivered, “erm … one buck for each.”

Ashley commanded, “from today, you will charge five cent more for my bra than for Lola's!”

Dustin coughed. “OK, if you say so!” He sweated.

Reuben hankered after Ashley and almost swooned. “Hey, you make a fish swim before even a cat may ride a bicycle up the Himalaya!”

Ashley glared grudgingly at her fan and walked away, joining her friend Wendy Gellar[ wendy gellar]. .

The latter was one of Dustin's former crushes. She had ignored him back then because of being a total fangirl of Drake Parker. But now she was secretly obseving him.

Missy walked up to the boys. “Dustin, I've already reached your sister. You have to work together with me in order to stop Samantha.”

Dustin shrugged. “I've told you … I'm over Samantha, or Trisha, and have been so for more than three years. And iCarly needs her.” Dustin was a total fan of iCarly and Carly Shay. So he did not want to wreak havoc by helping Missy. He remembered his short period of dating Samantha, back when he was still ten years old.

But that had been than.

And this was now.

Missy shook her head. “I hope your sister to be more caring.”

Dustin shrugged. He had sometimes been tired by Zoey's ongoing interferences. But he missed her a lot since her graduation form “Pacific Coast Academy”.

3.2. Missy meets Zoey

Melissa Robinson and Zoey Brooks had agreed on a secret meeting place on the campus of “Pacific Coast Academy”.

Zoey was still not convinced. She was never going to stop hating any girl having broken her brother's heart, once upon a time, notwithstanding the amount of water having run down the Mississippi ever since.

But was that “low life form” of Trisha Kirby, alias Samantha Puckett, really worth it?

Meliss coughed. “There's much more to trisha Kirby, or Samantha Puckett, than just having cheated on Dustin with Chase.”

Chase Bartholomew Matthews had been Zoey's best friend and even fiancé for aquite some time. He had been forced by Zoey in order to try to dissuade Trisha from dating Dustin. And dissuade he did:

Trisha had started seducing Chase instead …

Zoey was still hating Trisha Kirby, alias Samantha Puckett, for that. “o, what's going on?”

Missy explained, “Samantha Puckett is the daughter of recently escaped arch criminal Milo Creery. More than that, she has helped him to break out of prison. ”

Zoey's eyes bugged out. “That's hefty! Can you prove it?”

Missy shook her head. She told Zoey her reasons for that strong assumption. “In this case, Samantha has now a lot of henchmen at her hand, enough to kill us all: Dustin, you, me, anyone ever being in her way!”

Zoey's teeth started rattling like a viper's tail.

The barbie girl hoped, “maybe Sam, alias Trisha, has forgotten about theose few days at this school, long since. Dustin was hardly more than one amonh hundreds of former dates of loose girl Samantha Puckett.”

Missy shrugged. So was she going to be alone in her struggle against the devil from Seattle?

According to Melissa Robinson's estimates, Samantha Puckett, if not stopped in time, was easily going to corrupt Carly Shay in no time and drag her down the broad path of moral decadence and corruption.

And Missy was readily going to sacrifice anything necessary to prevent that from happening.

Alas. neither Melissa Robinson nor Zoey Brooks were aware of something making it much harder for Trisha to forget about that little bugger.

Missy had still a list of some more trumps up her sleeves.

One of them was Leann Carter, one early victim of Samantha's ruthless aggressivity. She had once been pushed down the staircase by Sam Puckett, like seven years ago, but refrained from denouncing Sam and getting her thrown into kid borstal.

3.3. Sam's Baby

In the evening hours. Carly Shay and Samantha Puckett met Quinn Pensky in the very same dark corner of Seattle, ready to receive the medication against Sam's vicious allergy.

The geek girl grinned. “Fortunately, my loverboy Cal had got some more plutonium on store. It was needed for this mixture.”

Carly twitched. “Ca … ca … cal?” “” she still remembered Cal's “help” for her science project, just a few months ago. She had been disqualified and sent into “root-and-berry camp”.

Quinn grinned. “Cal is the smartest man of the whole country.”

Carly shuddered for most extreme disgust. “So, Sam, what was the boy like? The dad of the baby, that is?”

Sam grunted, “nothing great. Just some ten years old goody-two-shoes.”

Quinn had been a student at “Pacific Coast Academy” at the same time. She guessed, “Dustin Brooks?”

“Bingo,” trumpeted Samantha Puckett.

Quinn gasped and went pale.

Sam explained, “we were making out in the pool, even with swimsuit, and then crap happened.[ pool incident] I made a test, talked to aunt Maggie[ aunt maggie], and she recommended some poison. I mixed it in the laboratory, and bang! Quinn even helped me to find the ingredients.”

Carly threw up.

Sam grunted, “so what? I love mixing poisons and explosives.”

Carly went totally pale. But she was still wondering about one thing: “and this guy, Dustin, was only ten years old?”

Quinn stammered, admitting, “that's my fault. I've been making many medical experiments with my fellow pupils, Dustin had been my favourite test rabbit for quite some time. And my treatment of Dustin's feet with plasma rays[ treating dustins feet], and especially my tests about sleep withdrawal[ sleep withdrawal] have accelerated his fertility by three years or more. It has also made his sperms extremely resistant.”

Carly passed out.

All that disgusting talke had been too much for Carly to bear, given her empty stomach.

3.4. Spencer's Plans

Carly woke up on her couch in their room.

Fredward Benson and Spencer had been awaiting this moment.

Sam was down in the kitchen, inspecting the refrigerator for ham, chicken, and pork chops.

Spencer sighed for relief. “Your back, Carly!”

Freddie smiled.

Carly was still not going to break her promise to refrain from telling about Sam's former pregnancy and her abortion. She sighed. “I must have eaten too much of the rotten spinach in the cafeteria.”

Freddie nodded. “We must complain about this! Principal Franklin will certainly listen to us. Briggs and Howard on the other hand …”

Spencer promised to talk about this during one of the next parents' reunions. But he also had to talk about other plans. “You know, Drake and Josh are afraid of Milo Creery and his gang.”

Carly nodded slowly.

Spencer continued, “We know how his henchmen from Seattle look like and may warn them. So I will move to San Diego for a few days, or weeks, if necessary. And I want you to come along.”

Freddie grinned, whispering. “you know, mom would not allow me to go that far away when criminals like those are on the prowl.”

Carly could imagine that.

Freddie continued, “but she won't know aboout it. I have inserted some video with faked news into her TV Set, making her believe about the criminals having been caught again. Mom wants to go to her twentieth class reunion and kleave me here with Spencer. So we may simply sneek away. There are just those daily control calls … but it's not a technical problem for me to redirect her calls to San Diego.”

Spencer smiled triumphantly.

Carly asked, “and Sam will come with us too?”

Sam beamed. She wanted to prove her worthiness unto her dad.

And sneaking into the residence of Drake and Josh and spy them for daddy, just like the good old “Trojan Horse” from Homer's collected works, was going to be an optimal occasion.

Sam bounced around. “Yeah! San Diego, here comes Sam Puckett!”

[ reuben] Reuben is from iCarly : iWin A Date.

The surname is from one iCarly - fansite, but not confirmed from within the episode.

[ scooter] “Scooter” appears as a cameo in Zoey 101 : Favor Chain.

Robert Carmichael is a cameo from Drake & Josh : Treehouse.

Both of them are portrayed by the same actor and identified in this story.

[ ashley blake] Ashley Blake is the little diva from Drake & Josh : Little Diva.

[ wendy gellar] Wendy is from Drake & Josh : Number One Fan.

The surname is taken from same actress's character in third-party owned movie Camp Rock.

[ pool incident] This is inspired by an early episode of third-party owned show Glee.

[ aunt maggie] Samantha's aunt Maggie is mentioned occasionally in iCarly, e.g. in iSpy A Mean Teacher.

[ treating dustins feet] Quinn treated Duystin's feet this way in Zoey 101 : The Play

[ sleep withdrawal] Quinn tested Dustin's reaction to lack of sleep in Zoey 101 : Spring Fling

Chapter 4. Sam Undercover

Table of Contents


4.1. Arrival In Belleview

A few days had passed by since Spencer's decision.

Fredward, Samantha, Carly, and Spencer arrived at San Diego Belleview at half past noon.

Twitching Joshuah Nichols greeted the guests.

Sam was totally hungry. But she also started pondering.

So, this guy has denounced daddy?

That cries for vendetta.

He will come to experience a world of pain and dismay.

I've already been denounced a few times, and been put into youth borstal.

But most of my victims have hitherto refused to denounce me.

Some of them, such as shirtless freak Charles Cornelius Gibson, are totally intimidated and afraid of my revenge.

Others, such as Leanne Carter, believe in that stupid rule about sinless guys and throwing the first stone.

Some have been easy to bribe.

But against those guys here, Drake and Josh, the hard tour will probably be necessary.

I just have to find a way to appease Carly.

Noone has hitherto been able to make Carly lose her recklessly naïve faith in my basic harmlessness.

And this will better stay like this.

Sam had already eaten all the sandwiches until their passage through Oregon. “Where's the fridge?”

Josh could not answer fast enough.

Samantha pulled at Joshuah's panties. “Bad fabric,” remarked the tomboy upon tearing the panties out from his pair of jeans trousers.

Josh floundered, keeled over, and slumped to the floor.

Samantha continued, “his butt stinks!”

Spencer did not dare to do anything about it.

Sam took the scrap of fabric and flang it straight into Freddie's consternated face.

Fredward Benson coughed and moaned like an idiot upon getting to smell the stains of Joshuah's underwear.

Sam chuckled noisily.

Freddie sighed. “Don't worry. That's just Sam. You may easily get accustomed to that.”

Spencer nodded solemnly.

Freddie wondered, “but where is the other guy? Drake or so?”

Josh Nichols replied, “Drake is fetching Megan from oboe practice.”

Carly moaned, “the oboe is such a boring instrument.”

Sam nodded solemnly. She was able to some degree to blow a trombone[ sam and trombone]/

At that occasion Quinn Pensky[ quinn and trombone] and Samantha Puckkett met for the first time.

But Sam could only use that instrument for making terrifying noise, not for decent tunes. At least she adored somewhat her cousin Gregorio Badilla[ gregorio badilla], a beatbox flautist just released from prison on parole.

Anyways, Megan was to be considered totally lame by Sam.

Joshuah announced the arrival of Drake and Megan withing the next hour.

Spencer also started calling Steven Shay, aka “Crazy Steve”, his psychopathical cousin from the other side of the family.

Sam chuckled silently. She just needed to wait for Jared Drake in order to be able to plan her final blow, an action most likely making her dad Milo Creery infinitely proud of her.

4.2. Oboe Practice

The sound of various instruments filled the practice hall of San Diego's House of Music.

Drake Parker had to fetch his sister Megan.

But the orchestral member was not yet completely done with their daily portion of rehearsal.

Mr. Combover[ combover] talked to the pupils about this session. “I'm very glad about your progresses, especially those of Megan Parker.”

Megan grinned.

Combover continued, “OK, some of you will participate in the concert for the mayor's birthday, next week. We've got some special guest as a backup pianist: Nevel Papperman from Seattle.”

The pupils shrugged.

Drake could finally get his sister. But he was not pleased by the announce. He was allergic to earnest music, especially Megan's oboe performance. And he was going to be forced to accompany her to her performance at the municipal honour party.

Megan was as endangered by Milo as Drake and Josh.

According to Drake's knowledge, Milo was not yet aware of the identity and the residence of Drake, Josh, and Megan.

But Drake was so wrong.

But finally, the Parker kids walked out to Drake's car. They were at least looking forward to seeing Spencer and Carly again, seven years since their cousins' departure from Seal Beach to the rainy state of Washington.

4.3. Rock Idol

Finally, Drake and Josh arrived back at home.

Josh opened the door.

Carly squealed, “Drake! Megan!” She jumped into Drake's arms.

The rock idole moaned, “oops, you've grown a lot.”

Carly pouted. “I'm chubby?”

Drake coughed. “No, you are just bigger than …”

Freddie just shrugged.

Samantha was struck by the straightforward similarity between Carly and Megan. But she was more astonished by the identity of cousin Drake. She stammered, “Drake … Parker?”

Drake grinned. “The one and only!”

Sam coughed noisily.

Drake Parker was her total idol.

A poster of the rock star adorned her locker at Ridgeway.

A live-sized blow-up doll in the likeness of Drake was hidden somewhere in Samantha's bed, usually deflated and rolled up.

Samantha had finally got some doubts about her plans. She still wanted to dispose with Josh.

But, according to Sam Puckett, no sane girl would have wanted to harm Drake Parker, the hottest of all living rock legends, envied by all nubs, such as Gibby and Freddie.

Thus Samantha Puckett decided to spare Drake Parker's life.

But, in turn, the rock star would be forced to marry the blond devil.

Joshuah had already guided Carly and Sam to the guest room for the girls.

Freddie and Spencer were supposed to stay in Drake's and Josh's room.

Carly wondered, “Sam? What's going on? You seem to be so … quiet, all of a sudden?”

Sam grunted, “I'm always quiet.”

Carly sighed, thinking, “Sam isn't honest about something. But, OK, she is still my best friend, and there won't be any problems between us, right?”

Drake and Megan were talking about their first encounter with Milo. “But now you are here, and we feel much safer.”

Was that really the correct conclusion?

Hardly …

In addition, Megan was a bit dismayed by Fredward's face. She knew it from the show, sure. But she knew it from another occasion.

It had something to do with a party form the past.[ freddies face]

But Megan failed to remember the exact context. She was worried.

4.4. News At PCA

Another day had broken at PCA.

Most of the students were flocking to the cafeteria.

Melanie knew about Sam's presence in southern California. She would have wanted to talk to her sister about the situation. She could not simply backstab Samantha. But she was nowhere near comfortable trying to hide her knowledge, either.

These twisted circumstances had turned her life, as of recent, into some blatant misery.

Melanie was also fearing her father to show up any time.

Of course, Dean Rivers, the headmaster of “Pacific Coast Academy”, was aware of Samantha's kinship with Milo Creery. But he was probably busy with other things.

Wendy had heard from her friend Megan about the visit of Freddie, Sam and Carly in San Diego.

The news about the vicinity spread like wildfire among the show's fan community.

The latter was fairly large, for aforementioned reason.

Many of the students hoped Sam to take the time to visit her sister Melanie.

But this was nowhere near a given.

Sam hated Melanie top a large degree and tried hard to avoid her.

But Carly was expected to be able to persuade Sam into a visit to “Pacific Coast Academy”'s campus, maybe for a special edition of the web show.

Dustin would have died for seeing his idol Carly.

Wendy was now expected to beg Megan to talk Carly into a visit.

Ashley, on the other hand, did not like vulgar girls like Trisha Kirby alias Samantha Puckett.

Reuben was still looking for a way to make Samantha pay dearly for her impossible demeanour back at Seattle.

Missy had overheard the conversations. She would have loved to get Reuben into her boat, thinking “like Dustin, Reuben is a victim of Samantha's heartbreaker skills.” But she was unable to communicate freely with hardly understandable Reuben.

And getting anyone's help for that avail would have endangered the secret Character of Missy's holy mission.

Zoey was now almost sure to support Missy.

The latter also hoped for one last reinforcement: Nevel Papperman.

Wendy had just phoned best friend Megan Parker. She started sharing her worries about that Fredward guy.

4.5. News from Malibu

A few hours later, Megan told Carly, “my friend Wendy studies at ‘Pacific Coast Academy’. You should definitely make it there on your way back. Wendy and many of her friends are fans of your show.”

Carly sighed. “So much to do while here in California. And such a lack of time …”

Megan nodded. “Wendy especially talks about a really big fan of your style of moderating the show, Dustin Brooks.”

Carly gasped upon hearing that name, thinking, “Dustin? The father of Sam's aborted baby?”

Megan continued, “think about it!” She left her cousin alone.

New remorses attacked Carly.

She deemed it as her duty to inform her fan Dustin of his almost-baby.

Sam may have been a coward.

So Carly wanted to fix that for her. She pondered, “it won't be easy for poor Dustin. But we can't hide that forever. He is endowed to know about that.” She had to contact Wendy Gellar and then Dustin Brooks.

But now they were getting ready for a visit to a cinema.

Josh was working over there.

Carly and Sam wanted to watch Ham and Legs.[ ham and legs].

[ sam and trombone] according to iCarly : iHatch Chicks, Sam Puckett had taken trombone classes at an earlier age.

[ quinn and trombone] Quinn Pensky plays the trombone in Zoey 101 : Lola likes Chase and Quinn's Alpaca.

[ gregorio badilla] This cousin of Sam has got a cameo in iCarly : iHeart Art.

[ combover] Mr. Combover appears occasionally throughout Ned's Declassified SSG as a teacher for musical subjects and fine arts.

[ freddies face] This refers to same actor's anonymous, silent cameo in Drake & Josh : The Battle of Panthatar.

Both characters are here identified.

[ ham and legs] A movie titled Ham and Legs is announced on some cinema panels shown in some episodes of Drake & Josh.

story: tooth for tooth

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