Trinsanity :: 4-5
Table of Contents
- 4. Pageant Drama
- 4.1. When the beauties go marchin in
- 4.2. The Interviews
- 4.3. Talent Exhibition
- 4.4. The Decision
- 5. Finale
- 5.1. Zoey at Hollywood School for Arts
- 5.2. Bill from Paxil
- 5.3. Trina gets expelled
- 5.4. Vince at Vega's
- 5.5. Conclusions
4.1. When the beauties go marchin in
The studio hall of Hollywood School for Arts was chock full.
Brad Eichman hoped finally to be able to outdo his closest competitor at Hollywood, viz. Malcolm Rese[ malcolm reese], father of aforementioned reckless playboy Logan Reese. Now he gave a long sermon , greeting the participants and onlookers. “Some of the participants will need backup music. And for this avail, we have hired one of the best rock guitarists of the country. He will also be present among the judges. It is no other but unforgettable … Drake … Parker!”
The audience cheered fanatically, making the hall tremble.
Drake Parker, a twenty-one year old lead guitarist of California's most upscaling poprock band, and also the hearthrob of California's teenage girls, waved around while entering the stage. According to rumours, Drake had been suggested by Earnest Lane unto Brad Eichman.
Lane was, according to certain well-informed circles, the lover guy of Drake Parker's mother Audrey.
Brad Eichman shook hands with the grinning idol of idols.
Caitlyn Valentine was delighted upon the news of Drake's presence. She squealed, jumped up and down, and bounced all over the stage. She finally somersaulted Drake Parker. “I love you Drake!”
Cat's vigorous impact, notwithstanding her low weight, pushed Drake to the ground.
Caitlyn pinned her victim with her kneecapes to the floor. Then she bowed smooched totally flabbergasted and helpless Drake all over the face. “Marry me, Drake,” squealed she at the top of her lungs.
Drake gasped for disgust.
Brad Eichman thundered, “security!”
Safety guard “Freight Train”[ freight train] entered the stage, grabbed screaming bundle caitlyn Valentine, and transported her with a kick through the front door, probably sending her across the street into the next bushes.
Tori was sad about that.
Trina beamed proudly. “One competitor less! Oh yeah, baby!” She bounced around, almost loosing her spectacles. But she achieved readjusting them inspite of a painful twitch.
Brad Eichman and his co-producer, Jane Kennedy, sweated heavily.
Until three years ago, Brad had been the only responsible producer of the broadcasting centre. But upon a disastrous decision involving a show featuring a plush dinosaur he hadto step down.
The board had chosen Jane Kennedy as a co-responsible producer.
Usually, this caused a lot of chaos.
But they were pulling the same end of the rope during this event.
Eichman looked at this list. “OK, number one, Caitlyn Valentine, just had to be taken down for obvious reasons. Let's continue with our next number, Miss Victoria Vega!”
Drake performed a jingle on his guitar. This he would do for each and every entering participant.
Trina grinned, thinking “Tori won't forgive the guitar freak having gotCat expelled.”
Indeed, Tori was in a really stinky mood.
But it had not been totally Drake's fault.
And Tori knew that. Thus she tried to calm down.
The dress designed by Zoey Brooks earned Tori many judges' points.
Tori waved and continued her walk, bathing in the applause of the onlookers.
The interviews were going to take place after some break following the first introduction of the participants.
Brad Eichman panted heavily. “Our next number is Trina Vega, also from Hollywood School for Arts.”
Trina grinned and entered the catwalk, boasting arrogantly with her stuff. She felt pretty well in the tight-fitting gown taylored by Maris Bingham.
Alas, her applause was not as much as Tori's.
But Trina knew about her secret weapons to come.
Alas, the girls from other schools were still to show up.
Brad Eichman started with those from Pacific Coast Academy. “Our next number is Melanie Puckett!”
The blond devil strutted across the watwalk. dressed with a fishnet swimsuit. She was supposed to be the nicer and smarter of the Puckett twins.
But the first impression may have failed.
Melanie was followed by brat Melissa Robinson[ melissa robinson] and Wendy Gellar.
The latter was particularly interesting because of having been known as a former stalking fangirl of judge Drake Parker.
The girls from Palmwood's were particularly favoured by many, especially Jo Taylor, Quinn's cousin Camille, and three girls named “Jennifer”.
The last girl to cross the catwalk was Leanne Carter[ leanne carter], formerly from Seattle, but now going to Eastridge. She had won many pageants in Seattle. Once she had been pushed down the staircase by her evil competitor Samantha Puckett.
The latter had thereupon been suspended for several yers, but recently come back and beaten Leanne in a pageant by means of blackmailing and bribery. She had been coached by Earnest Lane.
Leanne, inspite of knowing aboutSam's deceit, had never requested any measures against the blond devil. She was an ecopacifist and did not believe in vengeance.
Principal Eichman declared, “These were our participants. We will be back after a commercial break with the interviews. Don't forget to buy the products of our main sponsor, Daka Shoes[ daka shoes].”
4.2. The Interviews
The break had increased the nervosity of many a participant.
Only one of the girls had hitherto been disqualified, and this was Caitlyn Valentine, for aforementioned reasons.
Maris and Ashley had used the break to encourage Trina to do her best.
According to Maris, the interviews were so predictable, and they could not really override Trina's strong gifts as a cheerio, a model, and a cabaret actress.
Trina grinned. She hoped Robbie to be well-prepared. In any case, Trina wanted to make her sister despair already early on, getting her to withdraw from the contest.
The interviews were performed by Jessica Warner, famous star reporter from Backstage Hollywood, a vip-show co-produced by Jane Kennedy and Brad Eichman.
The onlookers were increasingly excited.
Robert Shapiro walked to the stage. “Sorry, I'm the reporter of the local school news. I need to write about the event. May I please listen to the interviews from nearby?”
Jessica granted that wish.
Robbie, a great fan of Jessica Warner's show, smiled appreciatively. He opened his palmtop and started taking notes.
Jessica asked Tori, “so, what would you do for peace in the midle east??”
Tori replied, “I would send a ton of flowers over there. Flower power rocvks!”
Many applausdded.
Jade West, on the other hand, remarked from onlookers' area, “you're sick, Tori! She grabbed a few lawn flowers and started cutting them into smithereens by means of a pair of scissors. ‘Roses are dead, violets are poo. Scissors for me, scissors for you!’”
Jessica Warner sighed. The next one, please!
Trina walked up to the microphone.
Jessica asked her, “what would you do about hungry children in the world?”
Trina started moving her lips open and shut in a rhythmical manner.
Robbie started talking in a femalish voice without moving his lips, “hunger in the third world is the consequence of perpetual socioeconomical disparity.” He kept on talking this way for almost half an hour.
Trina grinned sadistically.
Tori was shocked. “Hey, since when does Trina know any of these words?”
Finally, Robbie's lipless voice concluded, “unfortunately, the lack of bread in Africa forces many kids to eat broken glass.” He started singing about it.[ broken glass]
Jessica applauded. “That was the greatest answer ever given at a pageant.”
Trina beamed proudly.
Jessica asked Robbie, “have you recorded everything?”
Robie nodded solemnly and showed Jessica his palmtop.
Trina bowed to the applause of the onlookers.
This had clearly been Trina's turn to shine.
Jessica continued interviewing.
The girls named “Jennifer” from “Palmwood's” all got disqualified for giving extremely stupid and sarcastical answers.
Among all giirels, Trina had clearly given the best and most informed answers.
About everyone else went pale, especially Tori Vega.
Brad Eichman announced, “thanks Jessica! Thanks to all the participants! We will continue with the talent presentation after lunch break!”
The onlookers applauded furiously.
4.3. Talent Exhibition
Trina had spent the lunch break in a silent corner.
Not even Maris could help her any more.
But Brad Eichman called the participants back onto the stage, one by one.
Once more, Victoria Vega opened the litany.
Brad asked, “OK, Tori, what are you going to show us?”
Tori Vega smiled. “Make it shine![ make it shine]”
The audience screamed for pleasure,
Alas, Tori needed Drake Parker's backup. And she was still amd about Caitlyn Valentine's expulsion.
Drake took a plectrum from his pockets abd blew at it. “Good luck, hot lady!” He smiled.
Jade grunted, “Tori is as hot as an icicle.”
Tori wondered silently, “Should I be flattered?” She decided to forget about Cat and start singing.
Drake struck the chords like nobody's business.
Strangely, Tori sang much better with Drake's guitar backup than ever before.
The audience applauded, almost making the school burst into smithereens.
Trina was now under extreme pressure. She needed to get anywhhere near to Tori's performance.
Drake asked Tori, “you should sing in my band. I need a female lead singer, and you've got the stuff to sing for a platinum record.”
Victoria Vega was horribly flattered. But she still had got qualms due to the incident with Caitlyn at the beginning of the pageant.
Drake shrugged. “Think about it!”
Tori sighed. She replied sadly, “Will do!”
Brad called Trina onto the stage.
The busty criolla was asked about her number. She replied, “oh, it's a cheerleading dance, sort of.” She grinned. “No music, please!”
The audience was excited.
Trina removed her spectacles. She was immediately assaulted by stinging pains all over her body.
Lane had taught Trina a new cheerio dance.
But Trina did not exactly stick to his choreography.
Her performance was much wilder and apparently uncontrollable.
Lane was flabbergasted.
Alas, the masses were fairly enthusiastic.
Mr. Sikowitz, one of the jurors, remarked, “with cheerleaders like that, even our non-existing football team could reach out for the nationals.”
Applause filled the hall.
Eichman thanked Trina anbd called Melanie Puckett onto the stage.
The blonde from Seattle announced to perform a musical dance learned from Earnie Lane.
Trina went pale, pondering “how could that traitor teach Melanie a dance, too?”
Fortunately, it was a totally different dance.
Alas, there was something rotten in the state of Denmark.[ rotten in the state of denmark]
The onlookers enjoyed Melanie's performance.
Trina saw her chances swim down the drain.
Brad passed on to Melissa Robinson.
Missy announced, “I am now going to sing a song about myself.”
- And that is me, Missy Robinson,
- Jesus loves me more than you can know,
- Aw! Aw! Aw!
[ mrs robinson]
The masses booed.
Something told careful watchers the following:
Melissa was not seriously participating in the pageant, but she was here for a different purpose.
But what could this have been?
Brad now ordered Wendy Gellar up to the stage, asking for her number.
Wendy grinned. She boomed, “I've written a song for me and Drake.” She was a gifted music producer.
Drake Parker stood still in awe.
The audience was touched.
Drake and Wendy finally got to perform side by side.
André Harris was particularly enthusiastic about Wendy's compositional skills, He wishe dto work together with the gifted music producer.
Camille was the next in the long queue.
Brad Eichman asked, “OK, Miss … Camillem, what will you show?”
Camille started acting. “You dirty rascal!” She slapped the principal of Hollywood School for Arts across the face. “You've cheated on my mom with her own cousin. I'm so done with you!”
Alas, teh headmaster did not take this well. “Security!”
Jackson Colt[ jackson colt], an even moree bully afrio-american martial artist, walked in, grabbed Camille, and flang her across the street into the same shrubbery already “hosting” Caitlyn Valentine.
Jo, the next in the list, withdrew from the contest in order to look after her friend Camille.
Finally, only Leanne Carter was left.
Principal Eichman asked Leanne about her number.
Leanne replied, “usually, I'd play something on one of my woodwind instruments. But today, I'm going to sing something for my adored step-brother Zachariah Carter-Schwartz.” She blushed tremendously, betraying her crush on said person. “Zach turns ninteen today, and he's an adherent of the Ras Tafari cult. For this reason, I'm going to perform something by the greatest Ras Tafari singer ever, Bob Marley.”
Some onlookers were stupidly upset by Leanne'd crush on her step brother.
Others started sobbing for the story.
Leanne asked Drake, “Iron Like A Lion?”
Drake started hitting the chords.
Leanne sang along passionately.
There was some applause, but mixed with cries by conservative trolls.
But was that performance enough?
Trina already felt like the unison winner.
Brad Eichman announced, “the winners will be declared after coffee break!”
His beloved Jane Kennedy nodded solemnly. “And don't forget to go to our voting site and vote for your favourite. The winner will receive a pair of Daka's new, improved techfoots!”
Brad nodded solemnly.
4.4. The Decision
The suspense increased more and more.
Coffee break was now over.
Trina was still totally self-confident.
Brad Eichman collected the participants. “OK, my daughter Morgan is going to tell you the results.” He disappeared.
Morgan Eiuchman was not happy about her task. She still thought of pageants as lame.
Dustin Brooks was now sitting in the front row, sticking both of his thumbs up for his sweetheart Morgan.
Principal Eichman's daughter panted heavily. “OK, there has been an important information potentially changing a lot in last minute.”
The audience gasped.
What had been goiung on behind the scenes?
Morgan puicked up her walk-and -talk device. She nodded a few times. “Roger and over!”
Brad Eichman was nervous.
The audience was now truly excited.
Was there some scandal in the air?
Trina already feared for her deceit, involving Robert as a ghostspeaker, having been involved. “I'm going to strangle that bugger of Dustin Brooks for that!”
Morgan continued, “these are pictures from a pageant at Seattle last year.”
The onlookers gasped upon seeing Sam's victorious dance, the same as that just performedby her twin sister Melanie.
Morgan concluded, “officially, this has been Melanie's sister, Samantha. But I'm going to prove you one thing: It was really Melanie, feiugning to be Sam!”
The contest had been only for girls residing in the state of Washington.
Melanie had been officially registered in California.
Cam guy Wayne “Firewire” Gilbert zoomed in on Melanie's butt, using a quinnocular, and cackled with excruciating glee.
Dustin Brooks, former lover boy of Samantha, explained, “Sam Puckett has got a scar in this place.”
Samantha had cheated on Dustin with his older friend Chase Matthews.
Dustin had never forgiven that.
The masses of onlookers were gasping aloud.
Morgan concluded, “Melanie Puckett has helped her sister cheating in that contest. She needs to be disqualified.”
Many viewers agreed with Morgan's vigorous conclusion.
Leanne was puzzled and devoid of speech. But she still did not believe in revenge.
Morgan concluded, “these informations we owe unto Melissa Robinson!”
“Missy grinned triumphantly.”
The judges chimed in. “Miss Puchett is disqualified.”
Melanie was totally consternated.
Alas, Trina also felt the pressure of her remorses.
Sooner or later, her remorses would have been going to push her into fessing nup, like the murderer in Edgar Allen Poe's Telltale Heart.
Morgan concluded, “if justice is served, Leanne Carter is declared the winner of the contest.”
Brad Eichman was consternated. But he could not avoid chiming in with his daughter.
A new scandal would have ruined his career as a TV producer.
Alas, he was also going to examine Earnie Lane's involvement in the whole thing.
Leanne was now finally declared the ultimate winner.
Trina was thoroughly disappointed, But she could not have afforded her remorses to add to the pains caused by the withdrawal from her glasses from Mercedes Lens.
[ malcolm reese] Malcolm reese appears in Zoey 101 : Soring Break Up.
[ freight train] This is a character with occasional cameos in Big Time Rush, a tall and muscular mulato.
[ melissa robinson] This is Missy from iCarly : iReunite With Missy.
[ leanne carter] She appears in iCarly : iWas A Pageant Girl.
[ daka shoes] This shoe label appears in iCarly : iPromote Techfoots and in Drake & Josh : Really Big Shrimp
[ broken glass] Robbie Shapiro sings about broken glass in Victorious : Diddlypops.
[ make it shine] This is the title of a third-party owned song by Victoria Justice. It is also the theme of Victorious.
[ rotten in the state of denmark] This is a passage from Hamlet, a drama by W. Shakespeare.
[ mrs robinson] This lines are a spoof off third-party owned Mrs. Robinson by Simon and Garfunkle.
[ jackson colt] from iCarly : iLook Alike.
Chapter 5. Finale
5.1. Zoey at Hollywood School for Arts
One day later, Tori was at her locker during the big recess.
Aforementioned fashion master Zoey Brooks walked in. “Hi, Victoria!”
Tori smiled. “Oh, you get your dress back. It was great. I failed utterly in the interview, though.” She sobbed.
Zoey shook her head. “You may keep it. I've just come to tell you so. And I'm glad about the demise of the Pucketts. Sam Puckett, or, as known by me, Trisha Kirby, is a real pain in the guts.”
Tori sighed. “That's OK now. She gets her punishment.”
Zoey also talked about Missy. “Miss Robinson had been suspicious of Sam all the time., She had tried to warn her former best friend, Carlotta Shay, but in vain. Now she even admitted to having once committed a little onslaught on Sam's health in order to save Carlotta from Samantha. She got now condemned to 500 hours of community work. ”
Tori shrugged. “I'm glad about Leanne's honour restored. She would navver have complained.”
Zoey nodded. “Yeah, unfortunately, too many bad girls get away for this reason.”
Trina had been overhearing the conversation between Zoey and Tori. She was hiding behind a fairly tall student of Hollywood School for Arts in order to avoid confronting her archnemesis.
But the talk about Missy's atonement did not make Trina feel any better.
Her remorses about having cheated by various means grew from minute to minute.
Sinjin passed by, spotting Zoey. “Hi, barbie girl, do you want to see my locker?”
Flattered Zoey shrugged. “OK!” She followeed Sinjin to his spot. “Wow! What are all those coloured spots?”
Sinjin explained, “remains of food, treated with polyresines and industrial glue.[ sinjins locker]” He grinned.
Zoey was a bit disgusted, but she remembered, “once upon a time, my best friend, Nicole, had spoiled a backpackin the library with fruit goo. We had to pay for it. I ornated the backpack thereupon in a similarly fanciful manner.[ ornated backpack]” She smiled.
Sinjin continued, “I've got more works of art like this, all natural ingredients, plus industrial colours and glue.”
Zoey shrugged. “Where?”
Sinjin proposed, “let's go to the cafetria and talk about it? They've got sushi rolls.”
Zoey's eyes turned watery. “Sure! Why not?”
Jade, Cat, Trina, and Tori shrugged. “What does Zoey see in that freak?”
5.2. Bill from Paxil
Trina was in her room.
Tori hammered with her fists at her door, from the outside.
Trina did not want to open.
Tori grunted, “how do you explain the bill from some shrink in our mail? I'm talking no less than two thousand bucks!”
Trina lied, “oh, mom and dad go to matrimonial therapy. They bicker too much, as of recent.”
Tori thundered, “no, they don't! What kind of insantity do you need treatment for? You may talk to me nowm, or have to face mom and dad direectly, later on!”
Trina's remorses, combined with the withdrawal symptomes, sent a wave pains through Trina's marrow and bones.
Trina admitted to her addiction to the sun glasses from Mercedes Lens, following her eye lasering.
Tori was totally consternated. “You go through eyesurgery, power pills, and withdrawal. Are you completely insane? What made you all do this?”
Trina finally fessed up. “It's due to Vince Blake. He should be mine, not Lola's.”
Tori gasped. “What? Are you crazy? You can't take a boyfriend away from a girl, especially not a relative.”
Trina replied, “and what have you done to Beck and Jade?”
Tori sighed. “OK, but it was more or less a misunderstanding, not on purpose.”
Trina shrugged carelessly. “But you stole Drake and Danny from Cat!”
Tori grunted, “what? No way! She's just a jealous wench pretebnding this. But Drake has never liked her. He liked me upon listening to my first notes!”
Trina twitched. “Oh, is that any different?”
Desperate Tori offered, “OK, I won't tell mom, and I will pay your bill for the time being, but …” She did not want to be remindee of her crimes against Caitlyn.
Trina croaked, “but what?”
Tori continued, “you will keep your fingers off Lola's boyfriend. Knuckle touch oath! And you will take over my job and pay me back, dollar for dollar, cent for cent.”
Blackmailed Trina moaned for despair. And she had not yet even fessed up for having used Robbie.
5.3. Trina gets expelled
During the following days, Trina moaned due to having to guard little kids and puppies.
And nothing worked against her remorses caused by cheating in the interview section.
Everything was for naught, anywaysRex was such a poor excuse of a cheerleader..
Trina's nightmares turned worse and worse.
Now Trina was called into the office of the principal.
Her heart beat like a steam-driven sledge hammer.
Eichman started talking, “Miss Warner has sent me a letter. She's totally impressed by your abilities demonstrated in your interview. She offers a scholarship at the journalists' college in Sacramento …”
Trina's head exploded.
She boomed, “I did it! I did it!”
Flabbergasted Eichman wondered, “you did what?”
Trina admitted, “I haven't said all that. Robbie Shapiro did, without moving his lips, like with Rex. I've blackmailed him into doing so.” She collapsed onto the floor, squealing like a fury.
The principal was consternated. He had to sent Trina Vega off the school for severe cheating and bullying.
5.4. Vince at Vega's
A few days later, the door bell at the Vega's residence rang out.
Tori opened. “Vince?”
The quarterback smiled. “Is Trina here?”
Victoria nodded solemnly. “Yeah, but …” She shouted, “Trina!” She accused her sister of having broken her oath. “You will rue that!” whispered she into Trina's direction.
The elder sister came down. “Vince?” She blushed.
Tori glared viciously at Trina.
Vince explained, “I've heard about Trina's expulsion from Hollywood School for Arts?”
Tori nodded. “That's bad, vey bad!”
Vince shook his head. “I know how you must feel. The same had happened to me, obe at Pacific Coast Academy, you know. And now I've been dismissed from college for similar reasons.”
Trina klooked puzzled. She had not known about the latter.
Vince admitted, “Lola and I, this would never have worked out. Lola would never sweat for me as a cheerleader, or come along jogging with me. You would have been better.”
Trina's superseductive eyes turned evben more attractive on site.
Vince grunted, “Lola is so gone!” He grabbed Trina and smooched her fondly. “We should have done that already back at Pacific Coast Academy. But I've only seen this due to your expulsion from Hollywood School for Arts.”
Trina purred gleefully.
Tori was consternated. “I don't believe it! I really can't.”
5.5. Conclusions
Vince Blake dropped Lola on site for Trina, as he should have done years ago.
They migrated to Lima in South America in order to play for the local baseball league[ baseball in peru].
Tori was now way more than just Drake's female lead singer.
Drake's sister Megan tricked them into marrying as soon as possible.
Lola wasn't too sad about being dropped by Vince. She was a Hollywood star actress. In a following tryout for a movie, she met Beck Oliver. During a break from shootings, she saw him eat an apple. From this, Lola guesed Beck to be an excellent kisser.[ apples and kisses] She dared testing this immediately in practice.
Beck was made swoon.
Jade was deadly jealous.
But Beck had been looking fopr years for a good reason to trash naughty tumour Jade West. So he sent Jade away.
Camera engineer Wayne “Firewire” Gilbert saw the pentagram etched onto Jade's right arm.[ jades pentagram] “The seal of Solomon! Gloom and doom are upon the world, as already known by Superman … or was it batman? Spiderman? Koppelman[ koppelman]?!”
Jade smiled. “Cool! Finally, someone recognises the meaning of the pentacle!”
Firewire cackled mercilessly.
They preached, “Believe in the power of the upward pentagram, and you will make it unscathed through the age of doom!”
Guided by his fiancé Jess Warner, Robbie Shapiro was soon taking over the main redaction of the most renowned tabloid paper in Los Angeles.
Caitlyn soon encountered one of Lola's ex-boyfriends, Lafe Berkowitz.
Both of them were equally hollow-brained.
Thus they were absolutely perfect for each other.
André and Wendy started founding their own record label, more or less taking over previously established Rocque Records in order to produce the records of Tori and Drake.
Due to the broadcast of the talent show, Zachariah Carter Schwartz was finally made aware of his step-sister's feelings for him. After some weeks, he professed to replying them in kind.
And if the doom preached by Jade and Firewire hasn't yet arrived, the Hollywood School for Arts is still standing.
The End
[ sinjins locker] Sinjin's thusly ornated locker is shown in Victorious : Bird Scene.
[ ornated backpack] Zoey does this in Zoey 101 : Backpack.
[ baseball in peru] This is suggested by True Jackson VP : Mystery in Peru.
[ apples and kisses] cf. Zoey 101 : The curse of PCA
[ jades pentagram] That star tattoo is seen in Victorious : Survival of the hottest
[ koppelman] This is a recurring yet always silent character from True Jackson VP.