iBeat Beowulf::II
Contents
Chapter 4 Mystery Brain
One day later, Quinn was consternated.
The number of complaints about pirated passwords had risen up to thousands.
Zoey suggested, "you have to take Beo offline, until you have resolved the problem!"
Quinn sighed, "OK, but I can't do this from here." She was not ready to reveil the location of her secret laboratory. But she had to do something.
Sam had returned the android to Quinn before their last web show.
Beo had ever since been safe in Quinn's underground laboratory.
Or so Quinn thought.
Zoey glared at Quinn with determination.
Lola shrugged. "Why do people have so many passwords, anyways?"
Zoey pondered. "Maybe they think it's safe?"
Lola moaned, "what do I know. I've been too dumb for Miss California."
Zoey nodded solemnly.
Quinn snuck out. "Going to turn Beo off..." She sobbed bitterly.
Zoey sighed with relief.
Quinn was hardly gone when Dustin knocked at the door. "Zoey, I tried to get rid of her, but I could not ..."
Zoey opened the door. She went pale.
Dustin waved and walked away.
A girl stood in the door frame, and not some randon girl. The same lass had plagiarised Zoey's backpack design four years ago. 1
Zoey's breath froze.
Lola had not yet been a student of Pacific Coast Academy during the Backpack disaster. She did not understand Zoey's worries.
The strange girl grinned mischievously. "Aw Miss Brooks, nice to see you again!"
Her voice was sadistic.
Zoey went totally pale.
Lola tried to care for Zoey. "What hads that creature done to you?"
The intruder giggled. "Crenshaw, Melinda Crenshaw. Doubt you know this. But I've heard Quinn Pensky lives here, and she should know. I've beaten her two years ago at California's state science fair."
Lola shrugged. "I couldn't care any less about that."
Mindy Crenshaw cackled. "My step-brother-in-law, that jerk of Drake Parker always calls me a creature, hey, are you one of Drake's girls?"
Lola blushed. "I'd love to ... he's a good kisser ... or so they say. Not like the bishops and rooks in chess."
Zoey seems to have recovered. "Whatever, I'm now going to be a vice president of Simon Christini's in New York."
Mindy grinned. "who, do you think, hired me in the first place in order to spy on you?"
Zoey screamed, "what?"
Mindy explained, "my task was to trick you into joining Christini's befire his arch rival could discover you, and to estimate your potential on the fashion market."
Zoey fainted even more. Had she committed such a horrible mistake?
Finally, Quinn showed up again.
Zoey panted. "inally, the Beowulf is deactivated."
Quinn sobbed. "I don't think so ... oh, Mindy, nice to see you again."
Her voice was sarcastic.
Quinn was not over the defeat in that science fair.
Zoey coughed. "What do you mean? He's not deactivated?"
Quinn explained, "I came to the usual place, but Beo was not even there. He must have used his tentacles in order to free himself from his hideout."
Lola concluded, "who would steal such a tin man?"
Quinn grunted at her ignorant roomie, "Beo is not a tin man!"
Mindy shrugged. "My husband's --- Josh Nichols --- password for his game sphere wifi account has been hacked, too, just half an hour after his defeat in a match of chess against your Beo." She grinned sarcastically. "He was about defeating Quincy 2, a Canadian cousin of his psychopathic `friend' Crazy Steve. Quincy is said to be the greatest video player of all times. Josh had been close. But then everything was screwed up."
Lola sighed. "I've got a cousin in Canada, too. Her name is Tamara Dyson 3, and she looks like, me, she sings even better than I do ... and she's running for Miss Quebec."
Zoey shrugged. "I couldn't care any less about your cousin."
Mindy scratched her head. "Well, I've got an explanation for the whole mess."
Quinn looked quizzically.
Mindy started, "I take it your Beo is a quantum robot?"
Quinn choked. But she should have expected that from a peerr of hers when it came down to science. She nodded painfully.
Mindy continued, "well, usually, confident data are transmitted in an encrypted manner."
Even Zoey understood that.
But Mindy became more specific. "Encryption is performed using a key. This is essentially a very large number with large prime factors. You need to know the prime factors in order to decrypt the message. And determining those factors is a problem that swallows a lot of ressources of conventional digital computers. The duration of such an operation may reach the life time of stars, if not more. But, on the other hand, your robot is a quantum computer. It may use a different algorithm, that of Shor, in order to determine those factors. Shor's procedure may run very fast on quantum computers."
Quinn punched her own head very hard. "I should have thought about that."
Mindy admitted to having worked on quantum computation in the secret. "I just needed to fetch the necessary hardware constituents. I've contacted a certain Cal in order to sell me some ... secretly, that is. But you've beat me to it."
Mindy and Quinn discussed various technical details beyong Zoey's and Lola's ability of understanding.
Quinn was desperate. "Beo must know Shor's algorithm. But I haven't taught it to him. He must have learned it without a programmer's assistance. And now he's off in order to take over the world."
Zoey asked, "so if Beo gets hold of that one large number of the Pentagon, he may start a world war?" She had not understood any of the details, though.
Quinn nodded solemnly. "That's it. If Beo happens to interceive the key of the Pentagon on the interweb, or of any big enterprise for that matter, he'll be able to cast chaos upon all of us, and to recreate the civilised world from ruins."
Zoey concluded, "so, basically, your Rose Pen-Roger was wrong. Beo may have human abilities ... and really miscievous ones."
Quinn started weeping.
Zoey grunted, "OK, the two of you are probably the smartest girls of California. Now do something together in order to stop the Beowulf from starting a thermonuclear war or a permanent crash of Wall Street!"
Quinn and Mindy looked dumbfounded. They really appeared to be forced to work together. Against better judgment, they started to share their knowledge.
Lola and Zoey walked out into the lounge.
Down in the lounge, pupils were eagerly watching TV.
They were showing the recall of Miss California.
Diusapoointed Lola grudged and grunted, "I can't bear this!"
Zoey tried to calm Lola down. "There are worse things than losing to one of your cousins. And Tori is nice, when compred to Rebecca, I mean, Trina."
Lola sighed.
Suddenly, the program was interrupted.
Bruce Windchill 4, the weather reporter of Pacific Coast Broadcasting Corporation, had to make an important announce. "Our meteorological computers have been turning insane, as of recently. For that reason, meteorological hazards are now unpredictable, In addition, the weather database had been corrupted during the last few hours. We have no idea concerning th ecauses. We're working on it, but, until then, there will be no weather forecasts available. Sorry for the interruptions!" He disappeared.
Zoey, of copurse, knew the reason of the whole catastrophe. "Beo!"
Lola nodded sadly.
Hollywood star actor Jeff Garrett 5 was responsible for awarding the winner of Miss California. He walked up to the microphone. "OK, our computer has evaluated millions of SMSes, sent buy our valued spectators. He's counted thaem all. The final postulants were: Ashley Blake ... Victoria Vega ... and Camiulle Pensky!" He panted heavily when he looked into the faces of three excited girls. He was not rejoicing in the task of having to disappoint two of the most pretty and elegant girls in the world in favour of just one of them. He grabbed slowly an envelope and started to open it carefully. He closed his eyes. "And the winner is ..." He slowly started looking at the content. "Miss Lola Martinez!"
Ashley, Tori, and Camille looked at each other.
Camille protested, "but Lola has already been disqualified for dumb answers."
Tori nodded.
Ashley was most upset. "yeah, what's going on?"
Jeff concluded, "I know that, but the computer says: Lola Martinez is there ... has anyone messed with our computer? Anyways, the first prize is a dinner and a mmusic video with Drake Parker."
Lola beamed. "Long live Beow!"
Zoey looked at Lola with dismay.
Lola pouted. "You're just jealous because you haven't won!"
Zoey shook her head. "You know that this isn't true!"
Zoey and Lola jumped at each other and started strangling.
Dustin intervened. He was too feeble on his own, so he calle dfor Michael Barret's help.
Finally, Zoey and Lola were totally exhausted.
Michael concluded, "the robot is making us all insane!"
Zoey and Lola looked aghast.
Mindy was finally gone. She had promised to come back and help Quinn, though.
Quinn was sitting desperately at her laptop.
Lola and Zoey came along. They appeared in some pretty torn outfit.
Quinn wondered, "what has been going on?"
Zoey reported about the events in the lounge.
Quinn shrugged. "Unfortunately, we haven't been able to solve the problem and change Beo's mind."
Zoey croaked desperately, "but the two of you have admired the problem, right?"
Quinn moaned, "hey, don't make fun of us scientists. However, there might be only one way left to get Beo to reconsider."
Zoey glared quizzically at Quinn.
The geek girl replied, "Basically ... if someone defeats Beo in a game of chess, he will get confused and forced to reconsider everything. That's the last chance I can think of."
Zoey grabbed Quinn. "OK, you and your rival Mastermindy ... you should gang up and defeat that stupid roobot in a match of chess."
Quinn sobbed desperately, moaned, "we have tried, for almost no avail. It's embarrassing how we got whipped around, inspite of our intelligent moves."
Zoey was almost petrified. If even Mindy and Quinn, working together, were unable to defeat Beo in a party of chess, who was? Certainly not Zoey, or Lola, or Chase or Michael or Logan. Even stars like Simon Nelson Cooke, half man and half computer, or the smart couple Mary Ferry and Duane Ogilvy, had failed miserably. But then she remembered Quinn's repeated slips. She remarked, "Quinn, you have ention one person able to compete with a computer like Beo."
Quinn fainted. "I did? Really?" She feigned innocence. "But I can't remember having said anything like that ... "
Zoey grabbed Quinn. "So, fess up! Whom are you talking about? Maybe Paige Howard 6, the cousin of Megan Parker?"
Quinn shook her head. "Paige has given up. I've called her on the phone last night. And she's now stuck with a slow link somewhere in Colorado. Likewise, Logan Mitchell from Minnesota has resigned."
Zoey grunted, "so, fess up! I know. You must have strong reason for not talking about him. But the situation is too serious."
Quinn gave in. "It's my little half-brother. His name is Nevel Papperman. But he's now in prison for driving a car without a license, and for a few other deeds, and thus hard to reach. I'm not allowed to talk in the public about dad having illegitimate kids, though. Mom would strip him of his house, his car, his race horse, his golf club membership, ..."
Zoey cringed. "But how did you know that this Nevel is smart enough to ..."
Quinn showed Zoey a tomographic picture of Nevel's brain. "Do you see that? I've scanned it with my quinnoculars." She beamed proudly.
Zoey could not really appreciate that. Wasn't that sick? Who would carry a picture of a brain around?
But what made Quinn sure of precisely Nevel being able to outsmart the Beowulf?
And was there a way to contact and talk the little bugger into stopping the dangerous android?
1 cf. Zoey 101 : backpack 2 cf. Best Player 3 Tammie from Spectacular! 4 mentioned occasionally in Drake & Josh 5 cf. Zoey 101 : Jet-X 6 cf. Zoey 101 : Paige At PCA
Chapter 5 Brain Surgery
Alas, Quinn had done a lot more than just scanned Nevel Papperman's brain.
Zoey did not know why. But she had got that feeling.
Maybe Nevel Papperman wasn't even a native human.
Quinn may have cloned him from radioactive rubbish and engineered his brain genetically with some obscure means.
Zoey did not really want to accuse Quinn of anything. But she talked to Lola about it.
Lola's scientific knowledge had always been converging towards zero. But she employed her fantasy in order to make up for that.
Lola's fantasy was inevitably powered by Hollywood movies.
She had seen a few science fiction movies, as well. She was not interested in science fiction as such.
But a few actors in those movies used to be excruciatingly hot, and they were most likely good kissers, too.
And there was no way to stop Lola from losing her mind over the prospects of a good kisser.
Likewise, Lola could impossibly be prevented from spreading rumours.
Within just a few hours, rumours of various degree had started spreading across and seizing control over the campus of the Pacific Coast Academy.
Stacey Dillsen squealed across the lounge, "Quinn has created a human brain from a mutant amoeba!"
Logan thought of both Stacey Dillsen and Quinn Pensky as insane.
Michael screamed. "First the chess robot is going to kill us, now a mutant brain ... she's totally quinnsane!"
Logan Reese nodded. He had once upon a time been Quinn's boyfriend, but he had never even closely come to liking the science geek. Hw always had tons of girls at the same time, especially future super models.
Quinn had just been a notch in his stick, and a label just suited in order to boast with towards his grandad, a college teacher for science.
Logan hated all science, and each scientist.
And now he had got yet another reason for doing so.
But Stacey Dillsen was now looking forward to building a perfectly functioning brain from cotton swabs and white glue, a brain able to beat the living daylights out of deep blue Beowulf from Quinn Pensky's secret laboratory.
Firewire cackled mercilessly. "Quinn has gone too far! The world hads come to an end now."
Logan punched Firewire for his talk.
Firewire cackled. "Go and read for yourself! Superman and Batman have come to this conclusion ..." He gave a list of references.
Chase had read those toons a few years back. 1. But he was not proud of it,
Firewire's talk about the impending apocalypse predicted by various toon figures annoyed him to absolutely no end.
Chase moaned, "don't be afraid of that, Logan. I know that Firewire is just an annoying freak."
Firewire kept on cackling mercilessly. He had tried to beat Quinn's deep blue invention, but he and his pals did not have a brain comparable to that of Nevel Papperman. He was now eager on creating living humans from dirt as well, just as Quinn was supposed to have done.
Zoey had now started in believing Lola's rumours. She asked Quinn, "so, how did you arrive at creating yourself a little brother to look up to you and to adore you? Have you been that desperately lonely?"
Quinn gasped. "Wjat are you thinking?"
Zoey shuddered. She must have been really desperate herself, desperate enough to think of Quinn as able to create humans from junk.
Quinn was not just surprised,she was also flattered because of Zoey's assumption. She would have liked to be able to do that. Alas, she was ready to start working on it, right afetr the problems with her Beowulf were solved. But she had to clarify something as it was. "I have not created Nevl from scratch, or the dirt under my finger nails, as you appear to assume ..."
Zoey shrugged. "So ... what maked you so surew about his abilities?"
Quinn sighed. "I've performed brain surgeries on Nevel, like, three years ago, in order to allow him to date girls and to become an even better website maintainer."
Zoey gasped. "You've done what? Performed brain surgeries on a little boy?"
Quinn nodded proudly. "He was a nerd, now he's a supernerd. Anything wrong with that?"
Zoey shook Quinn violently. "So .... you use little boys for your dangerous experiments on human beings ... anything not wrong with that?"
Quinn shrugged innocently.
Zoey could hardly believe it. She knew about Quinn having performed a countless amount of illegal surgeries. "Have you performed more brain surgeries?"
Quinn nodded proudly. "I've transplanted a sloth's brain into the skull of Mrs. Puckett, the mother of Trisha Kirby.."
Zoey's stomach was much too weak to bear these excruciatingly disgusting news. She threw up and made her breakfast end up on her plush squid. "Howe may I be sure ... you're not up to transplanting my brain, or Lola's? Maybe my brain into Lola's head ... and vice versa?"
Quinn shook her head. "Hey, that might even be fun ... Lola would win every beauty pageant. I should definitely give it a try ..."
Zoey shook Quinn violently. "You're quinnsane!"
Quinn sighed. "Hey, brain transplants are a big progress in the history of medicine!"
Zoey did not get it.
The world was tearing apart due to Quinn's inventions.
And Quinn was primarily thinking about maximising fun.
Alas, Zoey could no longer keep on arguing with Quinn above the ethics of her scientific activities.
Time was going to run out.
Everybody was going to loose his mind, even without brain dissection.
Zoey had to get Quinn oto get Nevel to beat the deep blue monster. "So, when will you tell Nevel?"
Quinn replied, "he's in prison for driving without a driver's license and ruining some ugly flower shop standing in his way of glory, and I can't visit him without fessing up as a relative."
Zoey sighed. "We need a lawyer to talk to Nevel."
The door had been standing open.
Suddenly, a junior student walked in. "Claire Sawyer, future lawyer ... may I help you with that?"
Zoey sighed deeply. "OK, Claire, you may talk like a shark, but you're not accredited."
Quinn suggested, "with a bit of plastic surgery, I may make Claire look like an adult woman of thirty years and above ..."
Zoey shook her head. "A non-surgical solution!"
Lola Martinez came back dfrom the cafeteria.
Quinn smiled. "Lola, I might transplant Zoey's brain into your head, preventing you from failing in the question-and-answer part of a pageant."
Lola gasped. "Is that good? It does sound so. I really want to win ... well, I have won, but that's of a computer having been screwed. I will sure be disqualified once the horror is gone ..."
Zoey was now totally close to choking both of her insensitive roomies. "But there's an idea ... we could dress Claire as an adult woman, using costumes from Lola's costume storage room."
Claire moaned, "sorry, I suck at acting ... I'ds so flunk my mission ..."
Lola beamed. "I'm a perfect actress!"
Quinn smiled. "OK, Lola will play an adult shark."
Zoey grunted, "but you won't transplant parts of Claire's brain into Lola's skull, will you? Otherwise, Lola can't talk believably like a shark."
Quinn shook her head. "... just a microchip into Lola's ear ... allowing Claire to inspire Lola."
Zoey smiled. She remembered Lola playing a boy in order to fool Logan. 2
Lola grinned. She was off to the costume storage.
The next morning, Zoey, Claire, and Quinn were redressing Lola.
Megan had arrived, too. She had got sort of a crush on Nevel, and she wanted to abuse Lola's visit to Washington state prison for juvenile criminal masterminds in order to contact her sweetie. She also pondered about using her similarity with her cosuin Carly for her own advantage.
Dustin had told Megan about the action. But he was now even more mad at Quinn and Cal.
The two of them had restructured Nevel 's brain, causing him to hit on Carly.
This was unforgivable.
Lola's task was now much easier than the one of acting as a boy.
Lola grinned. "But I don't want to look older than thirty ..."
Cat Valentine, a girl from Rebecca's school, arrived in order to help with Lola's mask. She was a gifted and aspiring mask artist. "It won't hurt a bit," promised the quirky girl.
Megan admired the microchip system. "I've used almost the same thing years ago in order to make Josh inspire Drake during an academic contest. 3."
Quinn beamed. "It is still the same system. But I've made it more robust."
The mention of Drake Parker made Lola swoon.
Lola declared, "He's a hell of a good kisser!"
Megan thundered, "he's a jerk and a boob!" Alas, she was sure of Lola being a suitable girl for Drake.
Maybe there was something to be done in order to accelerate this?
Megan whispered, "You help me to get Nevel, and I will help you get Drake. Deal?"
Lola grinned. But she was a bit annoyed by the mask prepared by Cat. "I don't want to look this old forever!"
Cat assured, "the mask will wear out after a few weeks ... months ... years ... don't worry!"
Lola grinned. She did not want to face the end of the world with an ugly face of an adult woman. "And after this mission, when the evil chess computer is stopped, I will get Zoey's brain implanted, right?"
Zoey grunted with disgust. "No way!"
Cat was finally done with her work.
Stacey Dillsen bounded in. She did not recognise Lola. "I'm done building my chess game of cotton swabs and white glue ... but ... whose grandma is that?"
Lola squealed with despair.
1 cf. Zoey 101 : Favor Chain 2 cf. Zoey 101 : Girls Will Be Boys 3 cf. Drake & Josh : Smart Girl
Chapter 6 Finale
Nevel was still in prison.
Lola returned from her mission to that dirty hole, totally in vain.
Zoey and Quinn had already been awaiting her quite anxiously.
Lola smiled.
Granted, Zoey and Quinn had expected to see something by means of their hidden cam.
But, somehow, this hadn't quite worked out.
Quinn asked, "you've covered the objective of the microam."
Lola nodded with glee.
Zoey wondered, "this was intentional?"
Quinn moaned, "why? Did the security guards suspect anything?"
Lola cackled and shook her head. "Those guards never distrust a woman with a cute face." She beamed proudly.
Her mask had made her look adult, but not made her appear any less cute than usual.
Zoey wanted to know the reason.
Lola boomed, "that Nibble Poopermonk is such an incredibly ugly dweeb."
Zoey corrected her best friend, "Nevel Papperman ... his name is Nevel Papperman!"
Quinn walked straight through the roof. "Aw ... you ..." She grabbed her watch with built-in laser zappers and fired straight away at Lola.
The Hollywood queen started squealing and whimpering for excruciating pain along her skin.
Quinn thundered, "how dare you call my sweet, little half-brother a dweeb!"
Zoey had got a hard time calming Quinn down. "Quinn! This won't help anyone!"
It took Quinn ten minutes to put away her laser zappers.
Quinn moaned, "sorry!"
Alas, they had heard Lola's conversation with Nevel.
And it had been catastrophic.
Nevel refused to use one evil against the other.
Lola and Zoey had not quite understoiod that.
Zoey had got an idea. "Does Nevel call your surgery performed on his own brain and evil?"
Quinn glared aghast.
Her eyes turned glassy.
Quinn stammered, "he probably calls the established world order evil: capitalism, politics, the mass media ..."
This went far above Lola's head.
Zoey shrugged. "OK, but the threat by Beowulf is far more immediate ... for everyone, whether they agree with whatever world order or not ..."
Quinn shrugged helplessly.
Alas, without Nevel's cooperation, any hope was gone.
Dustin was so going to bellow unto Zoey. "I've told you to never trust in or rely on Nevel Papperman. But you never listen unto me, just because I'm your little brother, and you `have to be always right'."
Zoey was totally consternated. Was this going to mean the end?
The next day, Quinn had got a gret idea. "Zoey, you know ... Nevel's brain has been made capable of beating the Beowulf only due to my brain surgery, don't you?"
Filled with unconferrable disgust, Zoey moaned, "yes, I do. And now the necessary dirt work has turned out to be all in vain."
Quinn sighed. "But that's not necessarily all that bad."
Zoey looked aghast at her second best friend.
Quinn started explaining, "it had demostrated by skills and proficiency of of advanced cerebral surgery. I may have done it once, I may do it again."
Zoey grabbed her friend and shook her, roaring, "you won't trade my brain with Lola's! Don't even dare to think about it! I warn you severely!"
Quinn shook her head. "No, your brain won't do. But maybe Dustin's brain is good enough for that purpose."
Zoey growled, "what purpose?"
Quinn explained, "for the same sort of surgery as the one applied to Nevel Papperman's."
Zoey shook Quinn a lot harder, bellowing, "what? You dare to cut Dustin's brain? How insane may you still get?"
Quinn shrugged. "It's our very last chance. I need to improve someone's brain surgically, allowing him to stop the Beowulf before the end of times and of the world."
Zoey was still upset. "Cut and burn Logan's brain, but not Dustin."
Disgusted Quinn shook her had. "Logan Reese has never got anything comparable to a brain."
Zoey grunted, "it would have surprised me."
Quinn continued, "but Dustin's brain looks usable."
Zoey punched Quinn hard, making her whimper.
Quinn groaned, "I need a promising raw brain ..."
Zoey thundered, "try any of those who have already tried to defeat the chess monster, such as ... I don't know, they are all freaks. And I refuse to know freaks."
Quinn gasped.
Zoey coughed. "All freaks but one, that is ... but not those of the fireweird sort."
Quinn recoiled. "Firewire ... yeah ... Wayne Gilbert has not yet been successful, but he has sure got some sort of potential. Why not?"
Zoey snuck away at whim. She did, under no circumstances whatsoever, want to be connected with Firewire.
Quinn tried to make a list of potential canditates for a brain surgery enabling them to hold a candle to Beowulf. She started, "Wayne Gilbert, his pals Doty, Neil, Andrew, and Arthur. 1"
Miles Brody 2 was promising as well.
Then there was of course master genius Paige Howard.
Likewise, Duane Ogilvy and Mary Ferry appeared appropriate.
Lulu Johnson from New York City and her friend Mikey Jay appeared not to have been too far off.
In La Mesa, Simon Nelson Cooke, Lisa Zemo, Albert Wormenheimer, Bernice Livinghocker 3, Evelyn Kwong, and Lance Widget looked promising.
Finally, Stacey's new boyfriend Eric Blonowitz from San Diego, along with his pal Joshuah Nichols, was one last anchor.
Quinn smiled upon rereading her large list.
One of them was sure going to be able to beat Beowulf after some thoroughly appropriate brain surgery.
Quinn just needed to order the ingredients for necessary medications from Cal and his upstream sources and wait for the canditates to come and get their brain improved.
Zoey wanted to inform Dustin about Quinn's insane idea, telling him to avoid her.
But Dustin didn't want his brain to get `improved'.
Carly had started liking him with the brain he had.
Thus there was no need for a `better' one.
Alas, the situation was not as easy as previously imagined by Quinn.
Quinn moaned about another rejection. "Josh Nichols doesn't want his brain to be changed. Likewise, Lulu Johnson has turned my suggestion down."
Zoey moaned, "do you think everyone is just happily waiting for you to get a knife across his brain?"
Quinn sighed. "Honestly ... yes! Isn't it a big honour to get your brain upgraded to a newer version, just like an operational system? Oh, by the qway, Quinndoze QP is soon going to pass on to yet another version."
Zoey glared aghast.
Lola fumbled with her mirror and played with her lipstick. "With a brain upgrade, I could win a beauty pageant by answering tgose stupid questions better, those about global warming and stuff. But surgeries quite often tend to leave ugly scarse, and I would lose for these."
Zoey shook her head. "That's absurd!"
Quinn sighed with despair.
Lola sobbed piteously.
Zoey asked Quinn, "how long will yout tests and the preparations for a surgery take, if anyone proves suitable?"
Quinn reported, "just a few months, maybe less with a lot of luck. I also need a few more ingredients."
Cal had recently mentioned the shortcoming of ressources for the ingredients requested by Quinn for brain surgery.
Zoey continued, "and Beowulf will have trashed all the secret codes within just a few weeks, or so you calculated?"
Quinn nodded sadly.
The race against time appeared almost hopeless.
There was a noise at the door.
Zoey opened. "hi Megan, what do you ..."
Megan Parker walked in. "I want to beat the liveing hell out of beowulf Beowulf!"
Zoey looked aghast. "Nobody stands a chance against Beowulf. He just causes more and more troubles."
Lola shrugged. "What does it matter, anyways?"
Quinn shrugged. "No normal brain may survive that ... and yours may not even be strong enough for a brain surgery to fix that. I'd have to test you, of course ... "
Megan shrugged. "I don't need anything like that."
Quinn glared thoroughly aghast.
Today, Megan Parker was finally facing the Beowulf.
Jeremiah Trottman, the chief reporter of the news channel of the Pacific Coast Academy, talked about some crap like saving the school from Beowulf.
Dustin was also moderating, but he was doing this for iCarly.
Carly had finally understood Dustin's total sweetness and rock solid loyality.
Megan unpacked her oboe.
Trottman wondered, "what does a trumpet have tp do with playing chess?"
Zoey Brooks grunted, "that's an oboe. Stuff your own trumpet up your rear orifice!"
Trottman gasped.
Alas, Zoey Brooks had no glue about what was going on.
Megan started playing the oboe on and off between the moves.
Quinn had not got a trace of a clue concerning whatever was going on.
But Megan appeared to confuse the Beowulf like crazy with her moves.
Lola giggled. "Maybe the sound of the oboe scares your deep blue monster to hell and back?"
Quinn looked aghast. "The beowulf can't hear it!" Alas, Quinn was no longer all that sure concerning her creature's abilities.
Minutes went by.
Move for move, Megan brought the artificial monster closer to despair.
Finally, the dark blue beast had to surrender.
The code obliterator was now history.
Everyone, especially the news channel, wanted to know about Megan's secret.
Megan grinned. "I didn't!"
The onlookers glared aghast.
Megan cackled mercilessly. "Nevel Papperman did!"
Trottman asked, "you mean the one locked away safely in Washington State Prisons?"
Megan nodded vigorously. "He instructed me telepathically. My oboe stimulated our telepathic contact."
The audience was consternated.
Was such a thing possible?
Megan explained, "Nevel is an excellent pianist, the perfect backup for my oboe. Of course, he may not play anything in his hole, but he just needed to concentrate on the tune ... the one tune I've sent him via Lola." Alas, she had not reveiled her deeper secret: She was the last high priestess of Cain, the eternal enemy of Beowulf.
Lola Martinez stood up and beamed proudly. She had surely not been able to do anything about the hunger in the world, or the global warming, but she had done an important step in order to stop the stray chess monster.
She was thitherfrom bound for winning any pageant, and she was winning a kiss from Drake Parker, and another one, and yet another one ... until she became the queen of his heart.
The End
1 various cameos throughout Zoey 101 2 cf. Zoey 101 : Robot Wars 3 cf. Ned's Declassified SSG : New Kid