iHear The Angels Sing::I
Table of Contents
Invitation
Time Carly's Soph Year, St. Barbara's Day Place The Groovysmoothie People Carly Shay, Spencer Shay, Fredward Benson, Samantha Puckett, T-Bo (background), anonymous kids (background)
Spencer had invited his three favourite teenagers to Groovysmoothies.
They had ordered their favourite smoothies: One medium each, barring Sam who needed the x-large cup.
Spencer grinned. "So you do know why I've invited you ovver here?"
"You want to set the whole juice bar on fire?" wagered Carly, grinning sarcastically.
"No!" Spencer shook his head vigorously.
Sam belched.
"There's the difference. Carly is classy, as opposed to ..."
Sam stood up, span around, and farted silently into Freddie's face.
Freddie choked with disgust.
Sam grinned mischievously, and she sat down again.
"We're going to spend this Christmas in California," announced Spencer.
Carly was flabbergasted. "What?"
Spencer smiled. "Melanie's boarding school needs someone to make the Christmas decoration. And guess who has been suggested by Melanie?"
Sam's eyes bugged out. Melanie was such a hypocritic chick!
Freddie sighed bitterly. "Too bad mom won't let me go. It's oh-so-dangerous, down there in California."
"Awwwww! Who is not coming to California?" asked Sam in a taunting and sarcastic manner. She beamed brightly.
"No problem!" Carly smiled. "I'm going to talk her into it."
Sam pouted.
Freddie leant back and sighed with relief. "Thanks. Think about it, Carly: Me and you under the mistletoe ..."
Carly choked. "What?" She started regretting immediately to have promised to persuade Mrs. Benson.
Sam grunted. "Forget it, Fredweird! Carly doesn't need an incredible dweeb like you!"
Freddie almost exploded for anger.
Alas, Sam wasn't keen on Freddie coming with them to California. Even more, she wasn't keen on celebrating Christmas together with Melanie Puckett! She thought about a bunch of white lies in order to stay in Seattle without making Carly mad.
"And guess who will give a concert for the pupils that have to stay at the boarding school over the holyday week?" Spencer looked enigmatically.
"Those freaks who stole your drum set[ 1]? " Carly shrugged.
Spencer shook his head. "No, someone much better!"
Carly and Freddie moaned.
"Carly, it's your favourite cousin!"Spencer whistled innocently.
"Drake?" Carly beamed brightly.
"Yeah Baby!"Spencer clenched his right fist and hurled it aloft.
"Drake Parker?" Freddie didn't know any other musician of note with the same first name..
"Yeah!" confirmed Spencer, drumming his fists on the table.
Sam was Drake's greatest fan in the state of Washington. She had got a poster of him in her locker. When she heard Spencer's words, she couldn't hold the smoothie which she had just sucked in by means of a long straw.
A smoothie fountain shot forth from Sam's nose.
The gross liquid covered Freddie's new top.
Freddie was disgusted.
Spencer croaked. But he was lucky that he had not been hit my the spout.
Carly used a paper napkin in order to help Freeddie clean his top. Alas it wasn't going to make her task of persuading Mrs. Benson any easier.
Sam, on the other hand, was desperately looking forward to meeting Drake. "Why didn't you tell me that Drake is your cousin?"
Carly sighed. "Because you would have gone crazy."
"Hey!"Sam protested vigorously. "I never go crazy! Never!" she bellowed rudely.
"No, you don't!" Freddie giggled sarcastically.
"Shutup, Freddweeb!" Sam took a stained napkin and stuffed it right between Freddie's teeth.
Spencer sighed. But he had to pay the bill for everything. He went to T-Bo and showed him his credit card.
Time Day of St. Nicholas Place The loft of the family Shay People Carly Shay, Spencer Shay, Fredward Benson, Samantha Puckett, Marissa Benson
"California?" Marissa was consternated. "There are scorpioes, tarantulae, rattle snakes, ..."
"Mum!" Freddie moaned with disappointment. He whose so tired from Marissa's recklessly patronising demeanour.
"What are you going to do here, over Christmas?" asked Carly.
"I'll buy a fake Christmastree with wooly needles, those can't sting Freddie." Marissa scratched her head. "And no candles that could burn Freddie ..."
Smoke billowed forth from Freddie's ears.
"Then we will sing together grandma's Christmas songs," explained Marissa.
"Gross!" remarked Sam. She was happy that she wasn't the one to have to spend Christmas this way. Melanie was boring, but Marissa was way worse.
Freddie thought like Sam, but he stayed silent.
Carly shuddered excessively, but she remained calm. "OK, Mrs. Benson, why don't you follow us to California?"
Marissa was perplexed. "California?"
"The weather down is very good for your health," remarked Carly. "The gentle, warm wind from the sea ..."
"Really?" Marissa was hard to convince.
"And if you take your first-aid suitcase with you, nothing bad may happen, right?" added Spencer.
Mrs. Benson sighed. "You're right! But I have to stock the supplies for the suitcase."
Carly nodded. "Sure! We go down there on December 20, so there are almost two weeks left."
Marissa nodded. "OK, I'll roam the apothecaries right tomorrow morning!"
Sam was disappointed. This meant Christmas with Melanie, Freddie, and Mrs. Benson. Could there be anything worse than that?
"Will there be Christmas trees set on fire?" asked worried Mrs. Benson.
Carly shook her head. "Spencer won't light anything, I will do that for him if it's necessary!"
Mrs. Benson sighed with relief. Last year had been terrible. Spencer was such a pyromaniac, trusting him with anything that might be set ablaze was just insane. But Carly was a lot more reliable.
"And to be sure," explained Carly, "I've bought new fire extinguishers."
Sam coughed. She hated fire extinguishers.
Carly, Freddie, and Sam also decided to air an iCarly Christmas Eve Special from the celebrations at Melanie's school.
Last Sunday before Christmas, Place Spencer's van, bound from Seattle to Losa Angelos People Carly Shay, Spencer Shay, Fredward Benson, Samantha Puckett, Marissa Benson
Spencer turned the key, starting the motor of his van. "Hand-assembled from selected junk!" He beamed brightly,
Mrs. Benson choked. That was one rolling death trap.
Spencer added that Socko had sold him the chassis of the van.
"Nice from Socko!" Carly moaned. Socko was nowhere to be trusted. The trip to Japan[ 2] in a cargo engine, and the trip back on a rusty fishing boat had been horrible, never again, please!
Spencer smiled. "You just need to have the right pals!"
Freddie and Sam moaned unison.
"At least no possum," croaked Sam.
Freddie grunted. "Better ten possi than one Sam!"
Sam poked Freddie rudely in the guts, making him groan.
"What has the van been used for in its former life?"wondered Carly.
"Do you really want to know that, baby?" replied Spencer.
Carly choked. "Maybe it's better not to know it ..." She shuddered with disgust.
Mrs. Benson complained about her dorsal spine. The vibrations of the chassis penetrated both bone and marrow.
"I'm going to sing some good old songs for you," offered Spencer. Some entertainment was due, as it was a rather long trip."Jimmy Crack called, and I don't care. Jimy Crack ..."
Mrs. Benson and the kids stuffed their ears and commanded Spencer to shut up.
Mrs. Benson gave Freddie an antivomitive.
"Mum!" Freddie moaned. Alas, during this trip, those pills were really useful, more useful than ever before in his life ...
"Don't scratch my artworks!" bellowed Spencer when the kids were shaken hither and thither, due to Spencer's adventurous driving style.
Carly wondered how such a small van could host the whole artworks for the Christmas play.
Spencer explained that there were four artists who had been working on it, but, as of that very momet, he had not idea who were the others. They had to collaborate blindly.
[ 1] cf. iAm Your Biggest Fan
[ 2] cf. iGo To Japan
Welcome In Malibu
Time Last Monday before Christmas Place The Pacific Coast Academy, Parking Site People Carly Shay, Spencer Shay, Fredward Benson, Samantha Puckett, Marissa Benson, Melanie Puckett, anonymous pupils (background)
Spencer had been riding his car like a berserk.
The gang arrived at the drop site of Melanie's boarding school, the Pacific Coast Academy, hardly alive.
Sam was totally pale. She had been puking on Freddie's pants during the trip, and she still was nowhere near at ease, but the glorious prospects of meeting none other than over-live-sized rock idol Drake Jared Parker made her forget about all the troubles and pain on her way from Seattle to Malibu.
Marissa's backbone hurt like hell fire. Her orthopedic pillows would have been useful. But they didn't fit into the van.
Spencer's feet and legs were all bent and screwed when he finally left his van.
Freddie had survived the hell ride fairly well, but the pills had made him dizzy.
Carly didn't say anything. She could have said terrible things about Spencer's style, but she loved her brother too much to do it.
Sam was totally disappointed when she did not see Drake. Melanie! Why did she have to be the first being to encounter after the torture trip?
Melanie smiled. "Have you enjoyed your trip?"
"Sure!" Carly moaned sarcastically when she shook Melanie's hand.
Melanie noticed that they were not really fine.
"where is Drake?" bellowed Sam.
Melanie chuckled. "Drake Bell will arrive on Christmas Eve, not earlier."
Sam pouted piteously.
Freddie grinned. Alas, he had difficulties staying afoot.
"Where will we sleep?" asked Carly.
Melanie sighed. "OK. Mrs. Benson,would you please come with me?"
Marissa shrugged.
"This year," Melanie explained, "we will perform a Christmas play. We don't have a baby, but a real infant. And I share a dorm with the mother, and it would be nice having someone like you nearby, just i case."
Marissa felt flattered.
"An infant!" Carly beamed. "How cute! May I see it?"
"Sure," replied Melanie, "but not today. Sam and you, you will share a dorm with your friend Shelby."
Carly and Sam glared at each other. They had not even known that Shelby was at the Pacific Coast Academy. It was a pleasant surprise!
Freddie's eyes betrayed his horny thoughts that were triggered when Melanie had mentioned the name Shelby.
"No boys in the girls' dorms past eight p.m.!" admonished Melanie, "there are strict rules!"
Freddie sighed with despair.
"Awwww who won't spend a night in the same dorm with Shelby?" sam taunted Freddie mercilessly at any cost.
"What about me?" asked Spencer, "and my precious works of art?"
Melanie chuckled. "Freddie, Spencer ... you've got to share a room with my ex-boyfriend Dustin. He's the little brother of the mom of the Christmas baby."
Freddie shrugged helplessly.
"He's a big fan of your show, by the way," explained Melanie, "and so are many other kids here, but not many spend the Christmas vacations at the school, most of them go home for the holiday."
Spencer was still worried about his artworks.
"I fear there's no place for them left in the dorm," replied Melanie, "you need to store them in the basement."
Spencer sighed with despair.
Melanie took her mobilephone and called Shelby, telling her to pick up Carly and Sam. She also notified her ex-boyfriend Dustin, commanding him to look after Freddie and Spencer.
Place Dorm 101 Brenner Hall People Zoey Brooks, Marissa Benson, Melanie Puckett, Bartholomew Brooks[ 3]
Melanie had just let marissa into Dorm 101.
Marissa saw a blonde of 19 years, carrying her infant on her arms. She was consternated. The girl was much too young for that.
Melanie sighed. "OK, Zoey, this is Marissa Benson. She will stay with us over the holidays."
"Go to aunt Melanie!" Zoey rendered her boy child unto Melanie Puckett, ready to shake Marissa's hands. "OK, Mrs. Benson."
Mrs. Benson sighed. "Good Evening! His name is Bartholomew."
Melanie fondled the boy child.
"How come?" Marissa was still consternated.
"Long story ..." replied Zoey, moaning with despair.
Melanie rendered the child unto her mother. "OK, his father is a tall blond rake named James Garrett. I would never have thought that Zoey would go for him. See, a few years ago, I was the one who was suppose to end up early teenage pregnant because I changed boys more frequently than my underwear."
Marissa was flabbergasted. That sounded worse than Sam.
"I've been a very bad girl, you know, two criminal parents and stuff, but the State of Washington had that program to give kids like me another chance, sending them to a boarding school in order to save them from bad influence. I used a fake name, Trisha Kirby[ 4] ."
Mrs.Benson choked. "Oh my dear!"
"One of my boyfriends of the week," spoke Melanie, "was Zoey's brother, Dustin. Zoey was upset. I had just a bad influence omn him and stuff. Then I ditched Dustin for Zoey's boyfriend Chase Bartholomew Matthews, for no good reasons."
Mrs. Benson almost threw up. Was that really the same Melanie as that girly girl that had made Freddie swoon? You wouldn't have believed it aunless you knew that she was Samantha's monocygotic twin sister.
Zoey nodded. "Technically spoken, Chase wasn't my boyfriend back then, but he had a crush on me, and he never dared to fess up, until last year when I was in London with my parents. I returned to California for him, but he had got a similar idea and moved to England[ 5]. Then there was James Garrett, the new student. I've helped him to get started at the PCA, whereupon we kissed and started dating. I hate myself for letting that happen." Zoey started weeping.
Melanie took over. "OK, I'll tell the rest. One evening, they had a date, it was the first date for two after several failed attempts. Here at a boarding school, it's very hard to date without having your friends hanging out nearby[ 6]They watched a chick flick at the campus cinema and after that, they celebrated their first evening for two. " Melanie pointed at a cardboard cup that must have held pop corn, once upon a time.
Mrs. Benson took a look at the cup. It was beautifully ornated. Mrs. Brooks was an artist, like Spencer, just younger and more gifted. Somehow, this was a stern contrast to the bitter consequences that this party-for-two evening must have had. Never let Freddie go again to whatever sort of celebrations without her close supervision!
Zoey sobbed.
"That being their only evening for two, Zoey and James wanted to make it as unforgettable as possible," explained Melanie, "and unforgettable it became!" She pointed at little Bartholomew.
Marissa was conternated. Today's youth was bad, really bad!
Zoey sobbed piteously.
Melanie petted Zoey's shoulders. "It's OK! Anyways, a few weekslater, there was prom night. Zoey didn't yet know about her pregnancy. She would have gone there with James, but she had remorses because of having cheated on Chase. Hence she broke up with James.[ 7]. Surprisingly, Chase returned in the prom night. Everything seemed fine between them." Melanie sighed. "Two days later, Zoey woke up with morning nausea. Her roomie Quindolyn Pensky diagnosed a pregnancy. It was impossible for the baby to be Chase's as the nausea doesn't kick in that fast, and Chase and Zoey hadn't really had slept together. Alas, Zoey achieved making Chase think that the baby was his[ 8] , until a discussion between Chase and his friends Logan and Michael resulted in the insight that this was impossible. Thereupon, Chase didn't want to see Zoey anymore. He was totally disgusted. And James wasn't around anymore."
Zoey started weeping.
Melanie comforted her. "Really, I should be in Zoey's place. She's properly a very responsible and uptight girl. Although she hated me when I was new, I've started caring for her and the baby as soon as I knew about it. Without Zoey's criticism and instruictions, I would still be worse than Samantha. I can't ever forget that."
Mrs. Benson sighed with despair. Why did that always happen to good girls, not to loose ones like Sam?
"The next months had been terrible," explained Melanie, "Zoey was totally depressive and stuff, and she couldn't concentrate on both the baby and school. She flunked graduation badly, and she might even fail this year."
Marissa moaned with horror. Then she took care of little Bartholomew as she had done to Freddie when he was of a similar age. For some odd reason, Bartholomew's body clothes looked a lot like Spencer's socks: Multi-coloured and illuminated. Where did Zioey get those things from? Had she made them herself? Marissa didn't dare to ask about it. "Grammie Benson is going to sing you a lullaby," Marissa told the boy child.
Zoey sighed with relief. Marissa was really great at that!
Place Shelby's Dorm People Shelby Marx, Carly Shay, Samantha Puckett
Carly and Sam were awfully tired and lay down on their beds, unable to care for their luggage.
Shelby grabbed the suitcases. She had no problems carrying four of them at the same time. "Don't worry, I'm going to get your luggage done!"
"Thanks, Shelby!" Carly smiled.
"Don't swallow my sandwiches!" croaked Sam in a rude manner.
Shelby shrugged. "Won't happen."
Sam recovered from her trip. Usually, her first action after such a long road would have vbeen to devour anything edible in sight, but Spencer's reckless driving style had annihilated her appetite. Tomorrow, the school's cafeteria was going to have a new best customer!
Carly wondered about the Christmas play. "So the pupils will play it, and that little boy child?"
Shelby nodded. "He's very cute. His mother will play St. Mary."
"Is she a pupil over here?" Carly wanted to know.
Shelby nodded. "She would have graduated this year, but the baby made that impossible." Shelby told Sam and Carly about Zoey's story.
Sam shrugged. "Aunt Maggie had three kids before the age of eighteen. So what? And their dad is still in prison."
Sgelby sighed. "Zoey was the least girl from whom you would have expected something like that. She was a good friend and room-mate of my cousin Lola."
"Lola is the Hollywood starlet?" Carly beamed.
Shelby nodded. "We are hard to tell apart for people who don't know. Lola is now in a movie called Sensational![ 9], she's a perfect actress."
Carly smiled. She knew that Freddie had totally got the hots for Lola Martinez. "Will Lola come for the celebrations?"
Shelby nodded. "Better keep that secret from Freddie, you know why!"
Carly nodded solemnly. "Spencer shouldn't have mentioned Drake, either." She looked at Sam.
Shelby chuckled when she noticed Sam's hungry eyes and her deeply red facial skin. "Even I had once got the hots for him, but he's a weakling, and Freddie is even more of a dweeb!"
Carly chuckled. "He sure is!"
Sam was still totally seized by fits of ardent lust, imagining her upcoming encounter with Drake Parker, the one and only!
Shelby nodded. "They haven't yet decided on the role of St. Joseph, though. Dustin and his friend Scooter[ 10] have tried until the last moment to get Chase, the father of the baby, to come back to Zoey over Christmas, but he has got a new girlfriend, Addie[ 11] Singer. " She sighed with despair. "Even Lola's assistance was in vain."
Carly sighed. "Poor Zoey, hell, poor Bartholomew! And that Dustin guy is a great fan uf us?"
Shelby nodded. "Since he had seen that thing on TVS, with you and Sam and Zebo the dino[ 12], he is such a total fanboy. He will freak out when he knows that you're here."
Carly shrugged. Yet another crazed fan? But OK, she did the show for her fans, so things like that were not unlikely to happen.
Carly and Sam fell asleep pretty fast thereafter.
Place Dorm of Dustin Brooks People Fredward Benson, Spencer Shay, Dustin Brooks
Dustin's eyes bugged out. "Freddie? From iCarly?"
Freddie nodded solemnly. "Yeah, it's me!"
Dustin beamed and bounced around. "So you must be Spencer?"
Spencer nodded solemnly. "I'm surprise how well the fans know me! I've been on the show like once in a month, for a few seconds ..."
Dustin grinned. "Have you still got your socks?"
Spencer grinned when he pulled at the ends of his pants. "Alas, they are getting old, and I run out on supplies."
Dustin nodded. "I know why ..." Then he choked. Zoey would probably not want him to betray that she had made those socks. There should be some other means to prepare Spencer for facing the truth about the origin of the design of the socks he kept on wearing. Apparently, Zoey's pregnancy had delayed her design activities, which explained that Spencer was running out of fresh socks.
Spencer was still carrying his sculptures, or whatever he had hidden underneath some cotton wrappings.
"Oh, your artistic works go into the storage in the basement," announced Dustin. "I will take you there ..."
Spencer shrugged.
Dustin showed Freddie the closet. "Your luggage goes in there, and Spencer's into the one to the right-hand side."
Freddie nodded. "OK, Spencer, I will take care of our luggage, go and follow Dustin!"
Spencer nodded and bounded out, following their fan.
Freddie had to wonder a lot about that Dustin guy.He probably was into either Carly or Sam, but which one? That was one burning question! Freddie took care of Spencer's socks who were getting old and stinky. Mom had stitched Spencer's name into each of them, preventing them from getting lost. Mom could be terrible, oh-so-terrible! Bleh!
[ 3] original character, an infant that can't yet walk
[ 4] cf. Zoey 101 : Bad Girl
[ 5] cf. Zoey 101 : Trading Places
[ 6] cf. Zoey 101 : Dinner For Two Many.
[ 7] cf. Zoey 101 : Chasing Zoey
[ 8] inspired by the show Glee which I don't own either
[ 9] parody on the movie Spectacular! which I don't own.
[ 10] cf. Zoey 101 : Favor Chain
[ 11] cf. Drake & Josh : Honor Council, here identified with Addie Singer from Unfabulous
[ 12] cf. iCarly Saves TV
Where Is My Shoe?
Time Tuesday before Christmas, breakfast time Place The Cafeteria of the Pacific Coast Academy People Sonya (background)[ 13] , Carly Shay, Samantha Puckett, Shelby Marx, Marissa Benson (later), Melanie Puckett (later), Zoey Brooks (later), Bartholomew Brooks (later), Dustin Brooks (later), Spencer Shay (later), Fredward Benson (later), Nevel Papperman (later), diverse anonymous pupils (background)
Sam was more hungry than a pack of dire wolves when she entered the cafeteria, accompanied by Carly and Shelby. Her eyes twinkled when she noticed the food offered in here. "Battered ham for breakfast?" She bypassed the queu which wasn't that long, anyways.
Carly chuckled. "Good old Sam!"
Shelby nodded solemnly. "Only an apple and some green salad for me, but not too much oil!"
Carly chuckled. "My usual sandwich and cappuccino, please!"
Shelby chose a place for the three of them. "Melanie may come hereto, too."
Carly chuckled. "I'm not sure that Sam wants here here."
Shelby shrugged. "OK? Do you want to jog with me, after breakfast?"
Carly nodded. "Why not?"
Marissa Benson entered the cafeteria, followed by Melanie and Zoey who took turns carrying Bartholomew. "There's Carly!"
"Good morning, Mrs. Benson!" Carly smiled. "Aw, is he sweet!" She grinned at the boy child.
Bartholomew chuckled at Carly.
Sam came back from the queue. She shuddered when she saw Melanie standing near Carly. "Cool! Sonya is the new cook here!" Sam placed her plate, it was chock full, in front of herself.
Zoey rendered her infant unto Carly. "Hi! I'm Zoey Brooks, this is bartholomew. You're Carly?"
Carly nodded. "Do you watch my web show?"
Zoey shook her head. "It's a good show for tweenies and younger teens who have not yet abandoned all hope on life ... but I'm past that." She sighed with excessive mental pain.
"Hey! You're smart and nice and beautiful and strong and all stuff!" Carly sighed. "It can't be all that bad!"
Zoey moaned. "By the way, one of my shoes is missing. The golden ones that I only wear on days like Christmas. I wanted to polish it, butit's gone. One misery joins the other."
"We will sure find the shoe!" Carly shrugged. She hadn't got any clue whatsoever as of where to look for the shoe. "Think of it, who would steal just one shoe? You may hardly walk with it!"
Zoey shrugged. "Last time, I wore them at junior prom. When Chase came back, I went to my dorm and donned them for the night. It has become a habit, but it's all in vain. So what? My feet could have grown ever since, and the shoe wouldn't fit anyways." She shrugged helplessly.
Carly wondered about the age of the shoes.
Zoey explained: "About three years. Back then, I met a girl here, her name was Maria[ 14], she wore a pair of wonderful shoes which she had designed herself. Thereupon, I've followed her example and started designing my own shoes. I've designed quite a bunch of fashionable outfits, you should know: backpacks[ 15], shirts[ 16], and more."
"So you must be sort of an artist?" asked Carly.
Zoey nodded solemnly.
Carly smiled. "My bro Spencer is an artist, too, but a very cranky one."
In this moment, Spencer, Freddie, and Dustin made it into the cafeteria.
Dustin stepped up to Zoey and kissed her forehead. Then he wanted to cuddle with Bartholomew, as had been his habit. And then he noticed in whose arms the infant had been resting. "Carly?" He blushed a shade of flaming crimson.
Carly noticed Dustin's face going more and more red. That must be Dustin. Yeah, he wasn't tall and hot like Gary Wolf[ 17], Ben Hoopsher[ 18], Jake Crendle[ 19], or so many others. But his blushing made him so sweet. No other fan of hers had ever reacted this way upon encountering her for the first time. And he was very smart and kind. She rendered his nephew carefully unto him. "There he is."
Dustin nodded. He couldn't talk, as Carly's presence had overwhelmed him completely. In reality, Carly was even much sweeter and more charming than on the screen.
Sam chuckled about Dustin. What a freak! Melanie must have had a hell of a poor taste when she was younger, and a much worse taste today as she even considered dancing with Freddie!
Spencer chuckled when he saw Bartholomew. He smiled almost like Carly when she was that small, but much more enigmatically. What a charming infant! Spencer had probably been exactly like that, back at that age.
Freddie was also allowed to hold Bartholomew for a moment before he was forced to give it back to Zoey. He looked at carly. "Isn't he sweet?"
Carly nodded solemnly.
"OK, Carly, imagine," told Freddie. "you and me, and our own baby in our arms!" He looked hornily at Carly.
Enough was enough! Carly's hand slipped, and she slapped Freddie's cheek. "Forget it, you dweeb!"
Dustin was consternated. he had never imagined Carly being like that, but Freddie must have been sounding really obnoxious.
Carly was flabbergasted by her own action.
Mrs. Benson grabbed Freddie by his wrists, and dragged him into an adjacent room. She was really dismayed.
Spencer had never seen anything like this from his little sister. "Carly?" He looked twice in order to assure that it was her. Carly's cousin Megan, the little sister of Drake, looked a lot like Carly, but she was very tricky and cunning. Coming to think of it, she would probably have punished Freddie in some more tricky, humiliating way than directly slapping him. But she had once smeared nevel's face with tapenade, and Freddie was even more obnoxious, hence it did made some sense that Carly had slapped him.
Zoey chuckled. "Do you know what I've once done to Logan Reese? I've spit into his mouth! And my best friend, Lola, had bit his earlobe when he was equally perverse and obnoxious."
Carly grinned.
Freddie and Marissa returned from the next room.
Freddie wasn't bleeding or anything like that, but he moaned because his mother insisted in rubbing his cheek with some antiseptic lotion. Fortunately, there wasn't any such thing left.
Marissa wondered where to get some germ killer from.
"There you are, Mrs. Benson!" boomed some vaguely familiar voice behind
Marissa turned around and grabbed the salve that was offered unto her by ... "Nevel?"
Nevel Papperman grinned. "Do you rue it, Carly? Do you rue the day? You rue it!"
Carly almost threw up.
"What has Nevel done to you?" asked Dustin, still very timid in Carly's presence.
Carly sighed. "OK, Dustin. Nevel once invited me for an interview for his website, Nevelocity,and there he simply kissed me without asking. I've been upset and palmed his face with tapenade."
"Cool!" Dustin beamed. "But, usually, Nevel isn't like that. I would like him if he weren't that mean to iCarly."
Carly ruffled Dustin's hair and smiled. "Good fan! Do you want to come jogging with Shelby and me?"
Dustin smiled and nodded. "Do you know that "
Freddie exploded for jealousy.
Sam chuckled mercilessly when she saw Freddie going emo.
Place Campus Yard of the Pacific Coast Academy People Carly Shay, Dustin Brooks, Shelby Marx, Harper[ 20]
Carly, Dustin, and Shelby started jogging at moderate pace.
Dustin sighed. "That was rough. You must have been really upset. I don't know you like this."
Carly nodded. "I don't want to hurt Freddie, it was just so ... tasteless ..."
Shelby sighed. "Same thing happened when Nevel faked your voice, making me think that you insulted my grandma."
"That wasn't nice from Nevel. I don't understand it. he's usually really orederly and correct. There must be something hidden," speculated Dustin.
Carly shrugged. "Anyways, Nevel annoys me since middle school with his obsession for me. He never breaks up spontaneous hugs, and talking about us making babies was the top of his perversion." She almost threw up. "And that in front odf your sister who would have planned a baby for much later in her life only, or so I understand."
Dustin nodded solemnly. "Zoey is very uptight. She's totally the contary of Sam and younger Melanie. I found it cool dating Melanie in order to stand up to Zoey, but at some point, I figured that Zoey's protectivity was well-meant."
Carly nodded. "Same with Spencer, although he has always been very messy and permissive, but a few times I didn't recognise him. Of course he wanted the best for me, but I didn't see it in the first place. Griffin, my bad ex-boyfriend, was such a failure."
"Oh, what do you mean?" Dustin choked. "Sorry if I'm asking too much. Don't answer if it might hurt you!"
Carly shook her head. "It's good to talk to you about it. EWell, I figured that Griffin was a Peewee Herman fetiscist."
Dustin coughed. "That pervie?"
Carly nodded solemnly.
Shelby shrugged. "I could punch Pervie herman hard in the groin!"
"I'd pay for watching," suggested Dustin.
Carly chuckled. "Go, Shelby!"
Along came Harper. "Carly!"
Carly was surprised to see Harper. "Are you a student here? You've never told me."
Harper nodded solemnly. "On Christmas Eve, I'm going to perform with Drake Parker's band. That will be great!"
"Drake is my cousin," admitted Carly.
Harper pouted. "Why haven't you told me in Seattle?"
Carly shrugged. "California was so far, I didn't know that you would go out of your way for him?"
"fair enough!"Harper chuckled. "After performing in your web show, Hollywood producer Malcolm Reese[ 21] "
"OK," replied Carly. She was already looking forward to the Christmas performance.
Place Office of Dean Rivers People Dean Rivers, Secretary Beverly (background), Spencer Shay, Zoey Brooks, Maria[ 22] Hughes[ 23] , Stacey Dillsen
Dean Rivers, the principal of the Pacific Coast Academy, had gathered in his office the artists that have contributed for the decoration of the Christmas celebrations.
Spencer had already seen Zoey Brooks in the cafeteria, and now he got to know the other helpers: Maria Hughes and Stacey Dillsen. He shook hands with the girls.
Stacey lisped noisily. "My name is Stacey Dillsen. I'm from Swampscott, Massachusetts, but I also love Mississippi. My favourite herb is sassafras."
"Thanks!" Spencer sighed. That avalanche of mutilated hisses was too much.
Maria sighed. "Maria Hughes."
Stacie and Maria turned out as girls who had just graduated from the Pacific Coast Academie.
Dean Rivers gave sort of a speech, and a very boring one at that.
Zoey held a bunch of keys in her hand.
"Ms. Brooks," Dean Rivers announced, "you know what the keys are for and will show the way to Mr. Shay."
Zoey nodded. "Sure! OK, Spencer, that's your first name?"
Spencer nodded solemnly.
Zoey smiled. "We are now going to the stage hall in order to prepare it with our artworks for the performance."
Maria, Spencer, and Stacey smiled.
"Really, we won't be able top do much before tomorrow when Schneider's bakery is going to deliver some stage outfit."
Spencer wondered about Schneider's bakery.
Zoey explained that Schneider's bakery was one of the main sponsors of the Christmas celebrations. "Basically, they provide the crude stage furniture, we will ornate it. But it's better for us to study the stage today in order to make a plan, kind of." She sighed.
"Who takes care of your baby?" wondered Spencer.
"Thanks for asking!" Zoey sighed. Most people took it for granted that Zoey had endless time for everything. "Melanie Puckett is doing that for me. But I'm going to look every now and then."
Spencer nodded solemnly.
Zoey smiled. "OK, follow me!"
Spencer enjoyed being guided hither and thither by several girl artists. He whistled appreciatively.
[ 13] Sam's private cook in iPromote Techfoots
[ 14] cf. Zoey 101 : Quarantine
[ 15] cf. Zoey 101 : Backpack
[ 16] cf. Zoey 101 : Spring Fling
[ 17] cameo in iStage An Intervention
[ 18] cf. iKiss
[ 19] cf. iLike Jake
[ 20] cf. iCarly Saves TV
[ 21] cf. Zoey 101 : Spring Breakup became interested in me, and he called me to California.
[ 22] cd. Zoey 101 : Quarantine
[ 23] surrname is taken from a role by the same actress in the show Hannah Montana which I don't own.
Schneider's Bakery
Time Last Wednesday Before Christmas, 9 a.m. Place Stage Hall of the Pacific Coast Academy People Zoey Brooks, Maria Hughes, Spencer Shay, Stacey Dillsen, Eric Blonowitz, three employees from Schneider's Bakery(later)
Spencer and the other artists had unwrapped their works of art.
Zoey explained that the guys from Schneider's Bakery were expected any moment.
"We've got Schneider's Convenience Store near my house in Seattle," explained Spencer. "Isn't that strange? Oh, and there's a hospital named St. Schneider's."
Stacey scratcjhed her head and lisped: "My sister susan works at a nurse's station at St. Schneider's Hospital in Mississipi."
Spencer's ears hurt. Then he recognised Stacey's contribution to the decoration: It was made exclusively from cotton swabs and white glue. "Wow, that's beautiful! It should have a name!" He scratched his skin. "How about Beautiful Sculpture made From Cotton Swabs And White Glue?"
Stacey beamed. "That's so sweet!"
Maria had apparently made a painting in the same vein as the nativity scenes depicted in the larger churches in countries like Mexico or Brazil.
Spencer smiled with awe.
Zoey had apparently made the costumes for Spencer's wooden sculptures, but also those fore the actors in the Christmas play.
Spencer'sa eyes bugged out. The costumes reminded him of the outfit he had bought from Socko, Penny, and Tyler, such as socks, penny tees, and ties. He choked, but he didn't say anything.
"Mr. Shay?" Zoey wondered what was going on with him. Nobody else had been that much flabbergasted upon seeing her works.
"Nothing," replied Spencer. It was so hard to talk about it. Was Zoey really the author of those most beautiful and fashionable outfits?
Zoey sighed. "OK, tell me if you need something. I probably may get at everything available at this school."
Spencer shrugged. "It's OK!" He unwrapoped his sculptures.
There was something knocking on the door.
Zoey sighed. "OK, Mr. Shay, you may start trying to fit the costumes on your statues," Zoey suggested. "I better open, thses should be the guys from Schneider's Bakery," She walked away.
Spencer shrugged. He had a strange feeling when fitting all the costumes that looked totally like the fancy outfit he used to wear in Seattle. "Who is this Schneider anyways?"
Maria shrugged. "None of us have ever come to seen him."
Spencer scratched his chin. "Nobody ever sees him, but everyone thinks to know him, and his works are omnipresent."
Stacey and Maria agreed with Spencer's judgement.
Zoey came back from the door, accompanied by some dorky nerd of about twenty years.
Spencer shrugged. He didn't look much like a usuful guy. He made Freddie look like a girl eater.
Zoey was disappointed, as well. "My name is Eric Blonowitz. I've been sent by Drake Parker in ordeer to check the accoustics and illumination of this room."
Spencer choked. Freddie had so wanted to do this, given that he was also shooting the Christmas Special of iCarly.
Eric unpacked a frew instruments. "I need a telescope."
Stacey beamed. "I've gotone in my dorm. I love to gaze at stars at night, especially Saturn," she lisped.
Eric nodded. "OK, you mat fetch it. I like gazing at stars, too, especially in the star observatory of Mt. Palomar."
Stacey beamed and waved before going to fetch the telescope.
Eric started with scrutinising the accoustics of the stage. "Drake is very picky. He wants to be heard everywhere in the audience. Do you already know that I punched Drake Parker accidentally.[ 24] , just a few years ago."
Spencer shook his head. Of course it must have been an incident. Drake would never lose a fist fight to such a freak. It was probably too embarassing for Drake to talk about. Alas, it was safer to stay a few steps away from Eric. He continued testing the costumes. It was awkward, but the costumes looked perfect on his sculptures.
Stacey returned from her dorm with her telescope. "OK, this telescope is my best friend," she lisped.
Eric thanked Stacey and took the telescope. "I've talked to my my friend Craig Ramirez about an martial arts movie, the one with Shelby Marx as a guest star, and then my arm slipped, and ..." Eric did it again. His elbow hit Stacey in the side of her head.
Stacey gurgled, reeled, and slumped on the ground.
Eric was consternated. "Stacey!" He bowed over the unconscious body of the cotton swab princess. "OK, last year, I've been at a first-aid class."
Zoey's cellular phone rang. She picked it up. "Zoey Brooks ... OK, be right there!" She sighed. "The dudes from Schneider's Bakery. Finally!"
Everyone sighed with relief.
Stacey regained her consciousness "My life is just pain and horror."
Eric pulled Stacey into a comforting hug. "I know that feeling. Do you want to come with me tonight and watch the stars? Maybe we'll spot a wishing star!"
Stacey smiled sweetly. "Sure! This sounds supertastic!"
Eric didn't mind Stacey's lisp. It sounded so sweet and innocent.
Zoey went upstairs in order to open for the guys from the bakery.
The lads entered, carrying a few requisites that usually served in the bakery as containers for flour, butter, bread loaves, and so on.
Zoey directed the guys. "OK, this bread box will serve us as a craddle."
Spencer helped the guys with all the wooden and brass boxes.
Place 101 Brenner Hall People Marissa Benson, Melanie Puckett, Fredward Benson, Bartholomew Brooks
Freddie was disgusted. He was forced by Marissa to change Bartholomew's diapers over and over and over again.
The infant glared grimly at Freddie.
Melanie watched carefully. "I think Freddie has treid hard enough."
Marissa's opinion divereged totally from Melanie's, which she expressed in brash words.
"Eeeew!" Freddie moaned with a tortured voice.
"Fredward!" Marissa gazed disapprovingly at her son. "You know why you have to do that!"
"Yeah, mom!" Freddie gave in. Contradicting Marissa was in vain. His mother had condemned him to helping them gettinmg little Bartholomew done in order to allow him to be able to impress Carly with his skills in parenting and nursery, making her change her mind and accept him as the dad of her future kids.
Melanie shook her head. She took little Bartholomew into her arms and whistled some lullaby. "This ain't going anywhere. Dustin is a really great babysitter."
The infant fell fast asleep.
Freddie exploded with excessive envy. "The devil shall take him!"
Marissa was flabbergasted. "Fredward! Those words are not suitable for a little boy like you!"
Freddie's anger increased. Little Boy? Hell no!
Ma Benson was desperate. Her son was really no good for anything whatsoever. She sighed bitterly because she had to abandone all hope on a decent daughter in law. Why had she been punished with such a poor excuse of a man as her son?
Place Lounge of the boys' dormitory hall People Dustin Brooks, Carly Shay, assorted anonymous pupils (background)
Carly sighed when she sat next to Dustin. He was smaller, less manly, and only at the beginning odf pubescence, but Dustin was never boring. Unlike Freddie who only talked about technology or some horny stuff, or how much he felt tribulated by Sam, Dustin knew always something new and interesting to talk about.
"Hi!" Dustin smiled. "You are already looking forward for your gifts?"
"Carly grinned. "Only if they don't set on fire. Spencer has such a tendency ...""
Dustin and Carly chuckled.
Dustin sighed a bit. "Ilove my nephiew, but I also want a gift for Zoey that is just for herself."
Carly nodded. "Yeah, Zoey should be glad for a brother like you."
"Only if Spencer is glad for a sister like you!" Dustin smiled.
"He is," replied Carly. "So, if you don't have anything yet for Zoey, it's probably too late for buying jewelry, or flowers, the shops are chock full, both today and tomorrow."
Dustin sighed.
"OK, I may help you out ... Last year, I've bought over 50 pairs of sun glasses[ 25] from Mercedes Lens. I've some with me that I've never used. Just add a labelreading something like in love, Dustin or stuff. " She smiled.
Dustin grinned. "Cool! You're the best."
Carly chuckled. "And you may really saw virgins into half[ 26] ?"
Dustin nodded proudly. "Sure!"
"You should really do that live on our show!" Carly grinned. "Spencer's eyes will bug out when he sees his two half-sisters."
Carly and Dustin laughed heartily.
"OK, there won't be any time left to squeeze it into our Christmas special." carly sighed. "But you could saw me tonight, and we may include it into the web show when we're back in Seattle?"
Dustin nodded. "Yeah! Sure! But I still have to help Zoey with Bartholomew. She says I'm good at that. I always make him laugh."
Carly smiled. "You will be a great daddy. Do you want kids on your own? Some day, that is."
"First comes love, then marriage, then babies," Dustin explained, "or so Zoey told me." Dustin sighed deeply.
"Should be!" Carly nodded solemnly. "But I don't hold it against Zoey that she didn't stick to her own words. Spencer wouldn't have been a shiny example, either, but I still love him."
Dustin smiled.
"By the way, Spencer woke up with a golden shoe under his head pillow," reported carly. "Strangely, Zoey is missing precisiely one golden shoe."
Dustin smiled innocently.
Carly choked. "Are you trying to ... Cinderella and stuff?" Carly's eyes bugged out.
Dustin fainted.
Carly sighed. "I fully approve of your sis and my bro doing more things together. But is Spencer up to the tasks of a husband and father? He's so messy."
Dustin made his head hang in shame.
Carly hugged Dustin. "But I do like your train of thoughts! He'd be a good foster dad, though, after all, for kids who are a bit older." She chuckled mischievously. "It's so cool!"
"I'd also like Spencer to play St. Joseph , tomorrow night," confessed Dustin. "Otherwise I'd have to do that, and it feels creepy playing your sister's hubby. I rather want to play a shepherd."
Carly smiled. "You're totally right. Spencer as St. Joe, why not? But he once played Romeo in Romeo and Juliet, and the stage set on fire. Brrrrr! Mrs. Benson will take care of that, though!"
Place out on the campus Yard of the Pacific Coast Academy People Samantha Puckett, Stacey Dillsen, Spencer Shay, Eric Blonowitz (later), Mrs. Benson (later)
The work in the stage hall was over.
Spencer started strolling the campus, whistling Jimmy Crack Corn He walked into Sam's direction. He noticed some girl with a strange sort of blindfold. What could that have been? Unpon further inspection, Spencer recognised the girl as Stacey Dillsen. The cups of her own bra covered her face. How could that be?
Sam smiled at Spencer and whistled innocently.
"Are you at the bottom oof that?" wondered Spencer.
Samchuckled mischieveously. "Who else?"
Stacey screeamed and yelled because she couldn't see where she was walking into.
Along came Eric Blonowitz, looking forward to observing the stars.
Sam snuck up to Eric and gave him a wedgie. That was much more fun than with Freddie, and even more than with Gibby!
Startled Eric crashed right into Stacey Dillsen. His pair of glasses dropped off his nose.
Eric and Stacey screamed equally. They tried to help each other as much as possible.
Mrs. benson came along. She shook her head and helped the unfortunate lovebirds. Then she walked on, saying nothing. She had been totally disappointed by Freddie.
Spencer reported the golden shoe unto Sam. "I need to find my Cinderella!"
"Faery tales are for losers," stated Sam. She shrugged helplessly.
[ 24] cf. Drake & Josh : Eric Punches Drake
[ 25] cf. iPromote Techfoots
[ 26] cf. Zoey 101 : Favor Chain