✿二十五

[scentofbauhinia]

So, a friend of mine has put on weight. What should he do to get rid of it? [ahh the tried and tested friend method, again. yeah, he knows it's not gonna work.]

...You know, without actually cutting back on what he eats in the slightest or exercising any more than usual. [yeah, he's motivated] They are fond of those parasitic worm diets in my house-

Comments

phone

[supersizedpower]

Oh.

Well...maybe he's already trying to lose it?

[scentofbauhinia]

He only ate five bagels for breakfast this morning instead of six, if that's the kind of thing you mean.

[supersizedpower]

...He did?

He usually has cereal...but he's cut down on burgers, you know?

You didn't have to make a public phone call. It's kind of embarrassing...for the friend...

[scentofbauhinia]

I think he misses having McMuffins for breakfast actually.

...Are we talking about the same friend?

[supersizedpower]

What's a McMuffin?

[scentofbauhinia]

[oh. right. he forgot to ask what year you're from America

n-not knowing what it is... the horror]

...You know Mcdonald's, right?

They get really big and they come up with this breakfast thing. It's like a sandwich using two muffins with egg, bacon, cheese and sometimes a sausage patty in it.

[STOMACH RUMBLE NOISE] ...I could probably just make one here actually.

[supersizedpower]

Of course I know--

Oh. That sounds so...

[Stomach rumbling over here too]

[scentofbauhinia]

...The ones with two patties are good...

[rumble rumble rumble]

[supersizedpower]

You said you could make one?

[scentofbauhinia]

...I could, yeah... [goddamnit]

[supersizedpower]

I'll be right over.

Two sausages on mine!

[scentofbauhinia]

Okay. I'm at a different address now, 767 Bunker Street instead.

[hangs up and immediately ambles off to start cooking

america you make an appalling diet buddy]

[supersizedpower]

[showing up about ten minutes later!]

[scentofbauhinia]

[hi america hi

opens the door and leads straight to the kitchen of course. in which there is two very very tall McMuffin imitations. yeah you said two, but it looks like there's about six sausage per sandwich, plus the bacon and egg. this is srs bsns..]

...I was seeing how tall I could make them. [whilst still being able to stuff one in his mouth fff]

[supersizedpower]

[nngh...drooling just a little...]

So this is from McDonald's of the future?

[scentofbauhinia]

As close to it as I could make them, yeah.

...They're not this big though. [contemplating adding a seventh] Do you want ketchup on yours? [ahhh to make the ultimate disgusting fatty sandwich complete~]