I never understood at all
Random as anything, but Jens Lekman's "F-Word" may be the most catchy, oddly pretty song I've ever heard--wait it through to the end. (And the cut text is from Lekman's "Maple Leaves".)
Anyway-- fic!
Title: Implications
Author: scarletts_awry
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Mac/Hawkes
Summary: “We had to have that conversation sooner or later, though I wish it had gone…more smoothly.”
Word Count: 1284
Disclaimer: I don't own them, and it's a good thing too because they'd be too busy with the sex to have time for the crimefighting.
Authors Notes:
1) In answer to the fanfic100 prompt 89) Work. (ooh, pretty grids)
2) Cross posted to csi_ny_fic, csi_slash, and fanfic100
Mac’s stomach is a knot tied to the taut line of his spine. He understands it-his body refusing to shift down out of the tension after a long day spent dodging messages from the DA’s office as he pieced together the evidence to put away a sixteen year old boy for murder-but this understanding has little affect on physical reality.
Sheldon is waiting for him in the locker room, as if by coincidence. His transfer to the lab-to Mac’s supervision-is still pending the arrival of his replacement, but he’s stopped by the lab more often than usual since filing the request. No one finds it strange. But no one knows Sheldon has talked Mac into attending several obscure sporting events in the past two weeks, and the amount of kissing that has occurred afterwards indicates that these are in fact dates. The smile lurking in Sheldon’s eyes makes Mac lightheaded even as the knot inside him tightens, because tonight they are going to dinner. This is undeniably a standard date activity.
They say very little and head out together. Again, as if by coincidence.
On the sidewalk Mac decides he does trust his voice, because the alternative is listening to his brain turn over the facts of the case he’s just put to rest. “Sheldon.” Even still, the roughness of the sound startles him. “Is this a date.”
“We don’t have to call it that, but yes, I think the popular definition of the word does apply here.” Sheldon grins at him, and the hope of it all nearly loosens the tight thing that has now risen into Mac’s chest.
Mac clears his throat, ineffectively. “If we were to call it that…” He keeps his eyes in front of him. “I’m just concerned about the-the propriety of the situation.”
“I know.” Sheldon’s voice is quiet, almost lost in the ambient noise of the city, but Mac feels it at the base of his skull all the same.
“There can’t be any preferential treatment after you complete the transfer into the lab.”
Sheldon stops walking. “Do you really think so little of me?”
“No.” Mac stops as well, turns reluctantly. “Of course not.” He watches the other pedestrians who pass them by. “But you have to think of how this looks.”
“By the end of the month you will be my supervisor.” Sheldon nods, jaw tight, and much to Mac’s relief begins to walk again. “I know how it could be misconstrued by a stranger, and I know how to be discrete. I understand that, whatever happens between us, we have to be discrete.” His voice softens into quiet antipathy. “I know we have to hide this, at least at work, which is not what I’d normally choose. But I’m willing to do so in order to give this a shot.”
“Good-”
“Let me finish Mac.” And Mac complies because he’s never heard Sheldon’s voice sharpen to such a point. “I know how it might look to an outside party, but I also know you. I know you would never endanger the integrity of the lab, that you would never allow a personal feelings to affect the professional side of a relationship. I know it would be pointless for a person to try manipulating any relationship with you in such a manner.”
“I wasn’t implying-”
“That is exactly what you were implying.” Sheldon stops in the middle of the sidewalk again. Mac meets his eye for a moment, then looks away.
Sheldon’s voice is quiet enough that he shouldn’t be able to hear it above the traffic crowding the street and sidewalk. “You know, I don’t have much of an appetite anymore.”
For a long moment, Mac watches him walk away. Then he turns a corner and is gone.
Mac sighs and continues to a corner where he stands shoulder to shoulder with other pedestrians and watches the traffic lights blink yellow, red, and green. There’s a way in which it would be-not good, but closer to okay-if Sheldon were remaining in the M.E.’s office, or at least if he weren’t transferring to the lab now. There’s a way in which he could talk it into working. But now their timing is horrible.
Now. Now that he’s felt Sheldon’s lips moving over his, he can look back on it and see how Sheldon had flirted for over a year-how Sheldon had made sure their bodies brushed together, crowding next to him unnecessarily, all long before dragging Mac to a fencing match and dropping a kiss at the corner of his mouth. What had changed in the past month beyond Sheldon’s request to be moved out of the ME’s office? If Sheldon had only made a move a couple weeks before he’d put in his request-
People pass as the lights blink red yellow green and Mac’s stomach drops to the sidewalk. He had taken off his wedding ring.
…
Two days later, Sheldon appears in Mac’s office, autopsy report in hand. They talk about the findings for several minutes, and all is professionally friendly. Sheldon’s face is a mask, and Mac vacillates between unnerved and relieved.
But Sheldon pauses on the way out of the room. “You’re going to be in your office for a few more minutes, right?”
“Yes.” Mac frowns. “Why?”
“No reason.”
Mac watches Sheldon disappear around a corner. Again. As if nothing has happened between them at all (although very little did happen). As if Mac doesn’t know the way Sheldon will hum contentedly at the end of a particularly nice kiss (and the first time they kissed Sheldon tasted like butter and popcorn, the second time he tasted like soda, the third time like cinnamint gum).
Eight minutes after leaving, Sheldon walks back into Mac’s office, comes around to the near side of Mac’s desk and leans against the edge without saying anything. Mac pushes his chair back a few inches and notices the sly corner of a smile warming Sheldon’s face.
“Dr. Hawkes.” A smile flickers around Mac’s chest, but doesn’t make it past his dry throat. “Something else you wanted?”
“I’m afraid you’re mistaken, Mac. Work Hawkes, the man with the MD, was the fellow in here a few minutes ago, but he isn’t me. I’m a whole other person-relationship Sheldon.”
“Oh.” Mac shifts his weight. “Sheldon, I’m sorry about the other day. I didn’t mean-”
“You did. But it’s okay.” Sheldon sighs and crosses his arms. “It really is okay. I knew we had to have that conversation sooner or later, but I wish it had gone…more smoothly.” And a definite smile is stealing across his face-small and wry but there nonetheless. “We both could have handled that better, but I do want you to understand how well I can separate my personal and professional lives. And I was hoping we could give dinner another try tonight.”
“Dinner,” Mac repeats and clears his throat. “Dinner would be nice.”
“Good.” Sheldon nods and drops his arms back to his sides. “In the interest of honesty, I have to tell you that I did bring some of work Hawkes in here with me.”
“Did you?” Mac licks his lips and tries to keep a straight face because someone could walk in at any moment someone could glance in through the glass. “Why is that?”
“I have a good reason.”
No, there is no suppressing the grin creeping across Mac’s face. “Which is?”
“If you were alone with relationship Sheldon, he’d be in that chair with you glass walls be damned.”
And Mac wants-and glass walls be damned because Mac wants to pull Sheldon over and down into a hard kiss and find out what he tastes like right now.
He’s not sure he trusts himself as much as Sheldon seems to.
...............
Thanks for reading; feedback always appreciated!
Anyway-- fic!
Title: Implications
Author: scarletts_awry
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Mac/Hawkes
Summary: “We had to have that conversation sooner or later, though I wish it had gone…more smoothly.”
Word Count: 1284
Disclaimer: I don't own them, and it's a good thing too because they'd be too busy with the sex to have time for the crimefighting.
Authors Notes:
1) In answer to the fanfic100 prompt 89) Work. (ooh, pretty grids)
2) Cross posted to csi_ny_fic, csi_slash, and fanfic100
Mac’s stomach is a knot tied to the taut line of his spine. He understands it-his body refusing to shift down out of the tension after a long day spent dodging messages from the DA’s office as he pieced together the evidence to put away a sixteen year old boy for murder-but this understanding has little affect on physical reality.
Sheldon is waiting for him in the locker room, as if by coincidence. His transfer to the lab-to Mac’s supervision-is still pending the arrival of his replacement, but he’s stopped by the lab more often than usual since filing the request. No one finds it strange. But no one knows Sheldon has talked Mac into attending several obscure sporting events in the past two weeks, and the amount of kissing that has occurred afterwards indicates that these are in fact dates. The smile lurking in Sheldon’s eyes makes Mac lightheaded even as the knot inside him tightens, because tonight they are going to dinner. This is undeniably a standard date activity.
They say very little and head out together. Again, as if by coincidence.
On the sidewalk Mac decides he does trust his voice, because the alternative is listening to his brain turn over the facts of the case he’s just put to rest. “Sheldon.” Even still, the roughness of the sound startles him. “Is this a date.”
“We don’t have to call it that, but yes, I think the popular definition of the word does apply here.” Sheldon grins at him, and the hope of it all nearly loosens the tight thing that has now risen into Mac’s chest.
Mac clears his throat, ineffectively. “If we were to call it that…” He keeps his eyes in front of him. “I’m just concerned about the-the propriety of the situation.”
“I know.” Sheldon’s voice is quiet, almost lost in the ambient noise of the city, but Mac feels it at the base of his skull all the same.
“There can’t be any preferential treatment after you complete the transfer into the lab.”
Sheldon stops walking. “Do you really think so little of me?”
“No.” Mac stops as well, turns reluctantly. “Of course not.” He watches the other pedestrians who pass them by. “But you have to think of how this looks.”
“By the end of the month you will be my supervisor.” Sheldon nods, jaw tight, and much to Mac’s relief begins to walk again. “I know how it could be misconstrued by a stranger, and I know how to be discrete. I understand that, whatever happens between us, we have to be discrete.” His voice softens into quiet antipathy. “I know we have to hide this, at least at work, which is not what I’d normally choose. But I’m willing to do so in order to give this a shot.”
“Good-”
“Let me finish Mac.” And Mac complies because he’s never heard Sheldon’s voice sharpen to such a point. “I know how it might look to an outside party, but I also know you. I know you would never endanger the integrity of the lab, that you would never allow a personal feelings to affect the professional side of a relationship. I know it would be pointless for a person to try manipulating any relationship with you in such a manner.”
“I wasn’t implying-”
“That is exactly what you were implying.” Sheldon stops in the middle of the sidewalk again. Mac meets his eye for a moment, then looks away.
Sheldon’s voice is quiet enough that he shouldn’t be able to hear it above the traffic crowding the street and sidewalk. “You know, I don’t have much of an appetite anymore.”
For a long moment, Mac watches him walk away. Then he turns a corner and is gone.
Mac sighs and continues to a corner where he stands shoulder to shoulder with other pedestrians and watches the traffic lights blink yellow, red, and green. There’s a way in which it would be-not good, but closer to okay-if Sheldon were remaining in the M.E.’s office, or at least if he weren’t transferring to the lab now. There’s a way in which he could talk it into working. But now their timing is horrible.
Now. Now that he’s felt Sheldon’s lips moving over his, he can look back on it and see how Sheldon had flirted for over a year-how Sheldon had made sure their bodies brushed together, crowding next to him unnecessarily, all long before dragging Mac to a fencing match and dropping a kiss at the corner of his mouth. What had changed in the past month beyond Sheldon’s request to be moved out of the ME’s office? If Sheldon had only made a move a couple weeks before he’d put in his request-
People pass as the lights blink red yellow green and Mac’s stomach drops to the sidewalk. He had taken off his wedding ring.
…
Two days later, Sheldon appears in Mac’s office, autopsy report in hand. They talk about the findings for several minutes, and all is professionally friendly. Sheldon’s face is a mask, and Mac vacillates between unnerved and relieved.
But Sheldon pauses on the way out of the room. “You’re going to be in your office for a few more minutes, right?”
“Yes.” Mac frowns. “Why?”
“No reason.”
Mac watches Sheldon disappear around a corner. Again. As if nothing has happened between them at all (although very little did happen). As if Mac doesn’t know the way Sheldon will hum contentedly at the end of a particularly nice kiss (and the first time they kissed Sheldon tasted like butter and popcorn, the second time he tasted like soda, the third time like cinnamint gum).
Eight minutes after leaving, Sheldon walks back into Mac’s office, comes around to the near side of Mac’s desk and leans against the edge without saying anything. Mac pushes his chair back a few inches and notices the sly corner of a smile warming Sheldon’s face.
“Dr. Hawkes.” A smile flickers around Mac’s chest, but doesn’t make it past his dry throat. “Something else you wanted?”
“I’m afraid you’re mistaken, Mac. Work Hawkes, the man with the MD, was the fellow in here a few minutes ago, but he isn’t me. I’m a whole other person-relationship Sheldon.”
“Oh.” Mac shifts his weight. “Sheldon, I’m sorry about the other day. I didn’t mean-”
“You did. But it’s okay.” Sheldon sighs and crosses his arms. “It really is okay. I knew we had to have that conversation sooner or later, but I wish it had gone…more smoothly.” And a definite smile is stealing across his face-small and wry but there nonetheless. “We both could have handled that better, but I do want you to understand how well I can separate my personal and professional lives. And I was hoping we could give dinner another try tonight.”
“Dinner,” Mac repeats and clears his throat. “Dinner would be nice.”
“Good.” Sheldon nods and drops his arms back to his sides. “In the interest of honesty, I have to tell you that I did bring some of work Hawkes in here with me.”
“Did you?” Mac licks his lips and tries to keep a straight face because someone could walk in at any moment someone could glance in through the glass. “Why is that?”
“I have a good reason.”
No, there is no suppressing the grin creeping across Mac’s face. “Which is?”
“If you were alone with relationship Sheldon, he’d be in that chair with you glass walls be damned.”
And Mac wants-and glass walls be damned because Mac wants to pull Sheldon over and down into a hard kiss and find out what he tastes like right now.
He’s not sure he trusts himself as much as Sheldon seems to.
...............
Thanks for reading; feedback always appreciated!