Friday? How'd that happen?
I'm only realizing now how much sleepwalking I've done through this week. Suddenly it's Friday night. I've lived a whole week since Katherine left us and it feels like I just stopped paying attention to most things. The dishes haven't been washed. There's lots of e-mail that hasn't been answered or even looked at. There were 5 messages on my voicemail tonight, going as far back as Monday. I haven't done laundry. I haven't been grocery shopping. I haven't made any of the phone calls I promised to make. I think that mostly, when I wasn't working or being a complete neurotic, I was vegetating in front of the TV or sleeping. I know I functioned; everything I got done at the office is proof of that. It just feels like the time passed without my noticing it at all.
This became clear to me tonight when I realized that I'd neglected last Saturday's eBay sales. Not the dishes, no, nor the litterbox, but the fact that I might ruin my eBay rating suddenly snapped me to attention. Maybe I needed that big crying fit Wednesday night. I have a deep suspicion that it was about way more than just the workshop and the car. So I'm getting back to functioning in a more conscious way. After all, I have things to pay attention to.
What needs attention? I need new car insurance. I need to finish a story and get it off to Dean, preferably this weekend. I have to get payment off to Dean. I have to rehearse for the radio play I'll be performing in at Norwescon. (Oh yeah, got my program schedule; will post about that tomorrow.) I need to clean this place up. And I need to make the calls I promised people I'd make. In short, I need to attend to my life.
It's Time.
This became clear to me tonight when I realized that I'd neglected last Saturday's eBay sales. Not the dishes, no, nor the litterbox, but the fact that I might ruin my eBay rating suddenly snapped me to attention. Maybe I needed that big crying fit Wednesday night. I have a deep suspicion that it was about way more than just the workshop and the car. So I'm getting back to functioning in a more conscious way. After all, I have things to pay attention to.
What needs attention? I need new car insurance. I need to finish a story and get it off to Dean, preferably this weekend. I have to get payment off to Dean. I have to rehearse for the radio play I'll be performing in at Norwescon. (Oh yeah, got my program schedule; will post about that tomorrow.) I need to clean this place up. And I need to make the calls I promised people I'd make. In short, I need to attend to my life.
It's Time.