unhappiness
so today i went to the doctor because my ear felt horrible and i couldn't put pressure on it... I thought i had an ear infection but it turned out to be a spot on the inside of my ear that got infected... in effect a pimple in my ear (how does that even happen?!?!) so my parents had to pay for a doctor's appointment for a doctor to pop a pimple in my ear... They have madi it clear that they r not happy about it. I'm so sorry that i actually told them that i was in pain (i usually just suck it up and don't tell them cause i fear this is going to happen). To make matters worse they weighed me and all and my mom was in the room. I have gained like 5 lbs since i stopped running but it's not like i'm fat or anything, but my entire family always calls me fat or makes fun of my weight... It's not funny! My brother's latest nickname for me is "fatty" and he uses it like 5 times a day... SO i'm really starting to become self-concious even though i know i shouldn't be. I'm on my rollercoaster so i ate quite a bit today, but my parents won't let it go. A few minutes ago i heard them say (them being upstairs and me being down) dad: "she weighs ___ lbs!!" mom: "she ate 2 bowls of cereal an hour before dinner and then she ate all of her pasta".... My brother also makes fun of me when i eat smaller portions and is always like "Are you going on a diet?" It's so unfair that he got the skinny gene... To make matters worse i'm still freaking out over my SAT Score (which i took in my sophomore year!!) and my parents are still totally going to ground me if i don't get the scores! My parents don't believe in me and my mom and dad are constantly telling me "you are not going to get into the schools you want tp" (which by the way are ivy league schools)... I can see them being skeptical and all thet seeing as ivies are really really hard to get into and all but it's so difficult to believe in yourself when your parents don't even believe in you... I know everyone at school believes in me but at the end of the day a child values what her parents think of her and my parents are so unsupportive. They have unreasonablyy high expectations of me! I think they r still mad at me for picking the private high school that i'm currently attending instead of the magnet public school with an admissions process that i got into... I really thought i was making the right decision by going private... Unfortunately by making that choice i made it for my brother also and cost my parents thousands of dollars... I feel like i'm failing them and that makes me feel like shit... Oh crap my brother's here i can't let him read this! gtg