re: failing tests and how everyone fucking sucks
I went to take the permit test again. Failed it. Again. I shouldn't have been surprised, but I was fucking devastated regardless. I feel like such a disappointment sometimes. My dad said he didn't mind, but that he was just bummed out for me because he knows I'm really hard on myself. This is true. But I feel like I could have passed, if I'd just paid more attention to the book or read it earlier, or, you know. I mean, I feel like enough of a loser for trying to get it this late, and then failing the test twice, it just sucks. And then I said something about it on Facebook, about how I was fucking crushed that I failed again, and this kid was like "HAHAHAHA ARE YOU KIDDING, I GOT MINE ON THE FIRST TRY WITHOUT READING THE BOOK IT WAS SO EASY" and I said something like "hahaha ur sooo clever omg i cnt bleev u got it wow ur soooo smart, sooo jealouse" or something fucking stupid, and then deleted him from my friends. lol. Thank god I don't have to see too many assholes like that in real life. Some people, man. Anyway. I'll just keep studying the book and when I'm ready my dad said he'll take me down to try again. He said we could go back on Friday if I want but honestly, I really don't, because I'm ashamed and I'm scared.
I'm not having many good experiences lately. And my dad backed out of the driveway and this girl Amanda was walking by and she keeps bitching that my dad almost hit her. He didn't fucking come near her. She saw him backing out and kept walking, just ASSUMING he'd stop. You can't see anyone coming, the way our hedge is. She saw him backing out, and kept walking. Fuck that shit. Be smarter when you walk and maybe that'll help you not get hit, fucker.
Yeah, so. Yeah. I don't have much of anything positive to say. I'm not feeling positive about anything at all.
NO WAIT. I'm taking my tattoo design down to the place on Saturday (er, my dad's taking it when they go to finish my step-mom's newest tattoo) and Greg (the tattoo dude) will take a look at it and so on. So it looks like I'll be getting it definitely within the month.
In other news, you ever feel like people aren't really talking like normal people? I don't know how to explain this to anyone. It's like, people aren't fluent. They can't speak normally at a normal pace, and when I hear almost all people talk, it sounds forced and artificial, no matter who they are or what they're saying. Everything just sounds like a product to me, and it's not that I think people are being 'fake', or pretending to be something they're not, but they just don't talk like a normal person would in my mind. Normal people, just like, speak. They don't have these strange intonations and making statements sound like questions and so on. I don't know. I don't really know how to explain it. Everything sounds really, I don't know. I just don't like listening to people talk. And the people who DO sound normal, and really there are very few, I'm really fucking fond of. I can think of very few off the top of my head, and those few are some of my closest or most admired relations. So. I don't know. I don't know what to say. Maybe it's just mental.
Maybe I'M mental, ahahahaha. Sleep now.
I'm not having many good experiences lately. And my dad backed out of the driveway and this girl Amanda was walking by and she keeps bitching that my dad almost hit her. He didn't fucking come near her. She saw him backing out and kept walking, just ASSUMING he'd stop. You can't see anyone coming, the way our hedge is. She saw him backing out, and kept walking. Fuck that shit. Be smarter when you walk and maybe that'll help you not get hit, fucker.
Yeah, so. Yeah. I don't have much of anything positive to say. I'm not feeling positive about anything at all.
NO WAIT. I'm taking my tattoo design down to the place on Saturday (er, my dad's taking it when they go to finish my step-mom's newest tattoo) and Greg (the tattoo dude) will take a look at it and so on. So it looks like I'll be getting it definitely within the month.
In other news, you ever feel like people aren't really talking like normal people? I don't know how to explain this to anyone. It's like, people aren't fluent. They can't speak normally at a normal pace, and when I hear almost all people talk, it sounds forced and artificial, no matter who they are or what they're saying. Everything just sounds like a product to me, and it's not that I think people are being 'fake', or pretending to be something they're not, but they just don't talk like a normal person would in my mind. Normal people, just like, speak. They don't have these strange intonations and making statements sound like questions and so on. I don't know. I don't really know how to explain it. Everything sounds really, I don't know. I just don't like listening to people talk. And the people who DO sound normal, and really there are very few, I'm really fucking fond of. I can think of very few off the top of my head, and those few are some of my closest or most admired relations. So. I don't know. I don't know what to say. Maybe it's just mental.
Maybe I'M mental, ahahahaha. Sleep now.