God knows even angels fall....
So I've realized that I haven't really posted anything in here in a long time and maybe it's just me trying to pull myself away from prying eyes and if that is the case I am sorry. My parents have been pretty much stalking me online and driving me crazy so I have kinda been MIA for awhile because I just kinda had enough of people knowing everything about my life. I'm sorry. Anyway these past few weeks have been stressful to the extreme and have involved me making a lot of decisions that may or may not suprise you at all. I am going to be honest with what I write here so if you don't want to know the truth you might as well stop reading here.
1. Me and Roger broke up. I know that this may come as a shock to some of you that weren't even aware that we were dating in the first place. If you could really call it that because I mean we didn't do a whole lot of dating while he was in Wisconsin and I was in Michigan. To be honest, it was only a matter of time and I was just waiting for him to realize how horribly wrong we were for each other. We have two really different personalities and we just have different priorities and goals in our lives. I still really respect him and I want to still be there for him but he seems to be pushing me away as of late and has nothing to say to me at all supposedly. Some of you probably think I am devastated, but I'm not at all actually. I had tried to convince myself that it could work but I knew all along that it wouldn't and when the breakup happened I went and had coffee and had a dance party with some people upstairs so I clearly wasn't broken up about it. No aws or "I'm sorry"s necessary.
2. I changed my mind again with regards to major/minor. I'm keeping history ed because well, it's what I love and if you could only have heard me talk in a really nerdy way about the Babylonian Captivity to an audience who clearly didn't care then you would know that. Hint: If I start a story with 'so funny story...' it could not really be funny at all. In fact it could be gosh darn informational and boring. But that is life. Okay, so the big decision basically was an argument I was having with myself about my minor. It's the mentality of "this would be a good career move" vs. "BUT I DON'T WANNA!!!" yeah....so for right now I am going with psychology as my minor because it interests me more. This will probably change in the future so don't hold me to this. The practical side of me may win out just yet. You never know.
3. These weeks were also rough because I have been doing a research project on adoptions. It has been...a lot to handle. Definitely a lot to think about. There are some big issues out there that have just kinda been floating around in my brain and these few weeks have really had me dealing with a lot of them for the first time. I stopped paying attention in class and in fact I sometimes even stopped going to class. It was hard to concentrate and even my tap teacher noticed that I didn't seem to be all there. Everything, I think, is cleared up now and I can say that I am mentally A-OK.
4. This girl in my freshman seminar today announced that she got married last weekend. This statement kinda really scared me because I just realized that I am old. I think I am in denial about my true age. In TWO YEARS I will be student teaching. Two years is not so far away. Also, I want to get married and get settled in my mid 20s. Mid 20s, as it turns out, is not so far away. Just something weird to wrap your brain around. CRAZY. I better start man shopping soon....geez.
5. I really miss people from home. At home people didn't go wild and get drunk all the time. At home Halloween wasn't equal to "Dress up like sluts." (for the most part) Home allowed me to have alone time while socializing. Jamie, Mike, and Greg came up to see me this weekend and it made me happy, but it also made me miss home. I don't like this whole "maintaining friendships from afar" thing. It's annoying. I don't like who some people have become. It makes me really upset to see how some people seem to have lost all sense of moral values since they went away and in some people's cases they have gained more morals than they know what to do with.
6. I am thinking about transferring somewhere a bit closer to home. I LOVE it here at Hope. I think that it is perfect for me minus the extreme coldness and massive amounts of snow. I like the people here and the fact that I don't have to get drunk to fit in like many other schools (Or so I hear). People here actually really care about what they want to do and are friendly and always willing to lend a hand. The problem is that it's expensive. Very expensive. I'm a history/psych person and to be honest, Hope isn't too wonderful in either of those. I mean, I can get a good solid education here but I might want to go to a school that has better programs....I just don't know. It would be an expensive mistake to make that I am still thinking about.
But anyway, that is just some of what has been on my mind lately. Sorry I haven't updated and I have to end this short but it is almost 1 here and I have some early class tomorrow YIKES.
1. Me and Roger broke up. I know that this may come as a shock to some of you that weren't even aware that we were dating in the first place. If you could really call it that because I mean we didn't do a whole lot of dating while he was in Wisconsin and I was in Michigan. To be honest, it was only a matter of time and I was just waiting for him to realize how horribly wrong we were for each other. We have two really different personalities and we just have different priorities and goals in our lives. I still really respect him and I want to still be there for him but he seems to be pushing me away as of late and has nothing to say to me at all supposedly. Some of you probably think I am devastated, but I'm not at all actually. I had tried to convince myself that it could work but I knew all along that it wouldn't and when the breakup happened I went and had coffee and had a dance party with some people upstairs so I clearly wasn't broken up about it. No aws or "I'm sorry"s necessary.
2. I changed my mind again with regards to major/minor. I'm keeping history ed because well, it's what I love and if you could only have heard me talk in a really nerdy way about the Babylonian Captivity to an audience who clearly didn't care then you would know that. Hint: If I start a story with 'so funny story...' it could not really be funny at all. In fact it could be gosh darn informational and boring. But that is life. Okay, so the big decision basically was an argument I was having with myself about my minor. It's the mentality of "this would be a good career move" vs. "BUT I DON'T WANNA!!!" yeah....so for right now I am going with psychology as my minor because it interests me more. This will probably change in the future so don't hold me to this. The practical side of me may win out just yet. You never know.
3. These weeks were also rough because I have been doing a research project on adoptions. It has been...a lot to handle. Definitely a lot to think about. There are some big issues out there that have just kinda been floating around in my brain and these few weeks have really had me dealing with a lot of them for the first time. I stopped paying attention in class and in fact I sometimes even stopped going to class. It was hard to concentrate and even my tap teacher noticed that I didn't seem to be all there. Everything, I think, is cleared up now and I can say that I am mentally A-OK.
4. This girl in my freshman seminar today announced that she got married last weekend. This statement kinda really scared me because I just realized that I am old. I think I am in denial about my true age. In TWO YEARS I will be student teaching. Two years is not so far away. Also, I want to get married and get settled in my mid 20s. Mid 20s, as it turns out, is not so far away. Just something weird to wrap your brain around. CRAZY. I better start man shopping soon....geez.
5. I really miss people from home. At home people didn't go wild and get drunk all the time. At home Halloween wasn't equal to "Dress up like sluts." (for the most part) Home allowed me to have alone time while socializing. Jamie, Mike, and Greg came up to see me this weekend and it made me happy, but it also made me miss home. I don't like this whole "maintaining friendships from afar" thing. It's annoying. I don't like who some people have become. It makes me really upset to see how some people seem to have lost all sense of moral values since they went away and in some people's cases they have gained more morals than they know what to do with.
6. I am thinking about transferring somewhere a bit closer to home. I LOVE it here at Hope. I think that it is perfect for me minus the extreme coldness and massive amounts of snow. I like the people here and the fact that I don't have to get drunk to fit in like many other schools (Or so I hear). People here actually really care about what they want to do and are friendly and always willing to lend a hand. The problem is that it's expensive. Very expensive. I'm a history/psych person and to be honest, Hope isn't too wonderful in either of those. I mean, I can get a good solid education here but I might want to go to a school that has better programs....I just don't know. It would be an expensive mistake to make that I am still thinking about.
But anyway, that is just some of what has been on my mind lately. Sorry I haven't updated and I have to end this short but it is almost 1 here and I have some early class tomorrow YIKES.