alright so i'm going to ramble about a few different things
first i'm going to ramble about today cause its fresh and happening as i type... so i figure its time for me to put in my notice at the cell phone job... i wasn't ready too but everyone else seems to be... things are happening here i don't like and people i like are leaving like crazy... its a shame though cause i really wasn't ready for the money to end lol... i know some of you will be glad... i know you fucks worry... but it means i'm going to have to get another second job sometime between now and summer... i don't have enough... it all makes me sad but none of it is a suprise... so you know... anyways... what can i do but quit... i'm thinking i'll put my notice in tomorrow... they'll probably want me out before that... we'll have to see... now to the other...
november first... i like the thing robert wrote about november being evil... it amused me... but also its true for me... this month hurts for me... mom did a really cool thing and got all the kids from bible study together... it was cool but it was hard... i've already been a little fucked up for the last two weeks or so... combination of sick, seth bipolarism, alot of work, and time of year... this one hits me harder than his birthday... in these months the mundane seems terrible.... the silly nonsense seems like its mountains of drama... instead of alive... i feel dead... or at least numb... its rough... and i'm taking a moment to talk about it... i can't remember what movie exactly it was but it talked about moments in our life that change are life such that we talk about it as before the event or after... this was one of those... and i can't help but feel it at these tiems... i do it every year... if it ever stops i don't know what i would do... i'd like to think i'd never be so cold as to not feel during these times... even if it is bad... but anyways... none of it matters to much... i'll smile and laugh and pretend everythings ok... but this week... this week it hasn't been...
november first... i like the thing robert wrote about november being evil... it amused me... but also its true for me... this month hurts for me... mom did a really cool thing and got all the kids from bible study together... it was cool but it was hard... i've already been a little fucked up for the last two weeks or so... combination of sick, seth bipolarism, alot of work, and time of year... this one hits me harder than his birthday... in these months the mundane seems terrible.... the silly nonsense seems like its mountains of drama... instead of alive... i feel dead... or at least numb... its rough... and i'm taking a moment to talk about it... i can't remember what movie exactly it was but it talked about moments in our life that change are life such that we talk about it as before the event or after... this was one of those... and i can't help but feel it at these tiems... i do it every year... if it ever stops i don't know what i would do... i'd like to think i'd never be so cold as to not feel during these times... even if it is bad... but anyways... none of it matters to much... i'll smile and laugh and pretend everythings ok... but this week... this week it hasn't been...