Life in music...
Hello everyone that still keeps up with these things; I know I am quite guilty of taking a look when boredom strikes. I have been quite neglectful of things, mainly friends...and eating. I have lost a total of 10 pounds since coming to college this year, and I worry where that ten pounds came from.
The reason is because I have gotten so serious about playing this year, and it has completely eradicated my social life. When I am not in classes or ensembles, I am busy practicing, attempting to keep working up my technique and tone. For those of you that do not know, I am now playing in two ensembles, the Wind Ensemble (Eb and Bb both) and the Symphony Orchestra. I also have volunteered to play with the contemporary chamber ensemble and two student conducting recitals. In addition, I am auditioning for the school's concerto competition, which i don't look to win. It just provides another playing opportunity. Combine all of those with Music History, one of the most intensive courses at UGA (Gregorian Chant all the way to Today's music), and you have quite a busy Michael.
Enough of the bitching and complaining, for I really can't say that I don't dislike any of the things mentioned above. I love to play now, it provides such an escape from everything. I will sit in a practice room here at the school and run through everything I have, spending usually a total of 4 hours just practicing alone. I have decided to add on a performance major, not because I actually look to perform in life, but because I want to learn everything I can from D. Ray (clarinet professor) before going onto grad school. It makes sense, that I would like to be exposed to lots of music before I want to conduct it, right?
At the same time, my interaction with everyone (the family, in both senses of the term, friends) has been about zilch. I have not been fair to everyone, and for that I am sorry. I feel like I am in a swing though, and that I have to continue on this track. Also, I went through a really bad breakup a bit earlier this semester which made me a little pissed at everything, so I removed myself from the situation. Kate seemed to me, the perfect girl, and then she goes and tells me one night, after all that I had done for her, after knowing that I cared for her more than anyone, that "she did not have time to maintain a relationship." I have never been so overwhelmed in my life, and add crushed. From there, I looked to music for support.
I have also faced a lot of demons within myself this semester it seems. I never realized how uncomfortable I was in my playing. I have the voice of doubt constantly running in my head, telling me that I am not good enough and that nothing I do really matters. Telling that to shut the fuck up is probably one of the hardest things i will have to do, and it has already put a strain on me. I know that I am dedicated, and I know what I love, so why can't I just do it!!??
Anyway, Thanks you guys for calling me when you did, and for your emails. I promise you all that I think of you constantly, and I look forward to our next get-together. Welcome back to the states Christopher, and sorry I have not spoken to you in awhile Cecilia, Alex, Jennifer, Bethany... From here I stand in gratitude and undying affection for you all, my friends.
Now I must go to my lesson and play through Weber Concerto No.2. I hope everyone has a splendid weekend.
The reason is because I have gotten so serious about playing this year, and it has completely eradicated my social life. When I am not in classes or ensembles, I am busy practicing, attempting to keep working up my technique and tone. For those of you that do not know, I am now playing in two ensembles, the Wind Ensemble (Eb and Bb both) and the Symphony Orchestra. I also have volunteered to play with the contemporary chamber ensemble and two student conducting recitals. In addition, I am auditioning for the school's concerto competition, which i don't look to win. It just provides another playing opportunity. Combine all of those with Music History, one of the most intensive courses at UGA (Gregorian Chant all the way to Today's music), and you have quite a busy Michael.
Enough of the bitching and complaining, for I really can't say that I don't dislike any of the things mentioned above. I love to play now, it provides such an escape from everything. I will sit in a practice room here at the school and run through everything I have, spending usually a total of 4 hours just practicing alone. I have decided to add on a performance major, not because I actually look to perform in life, but because I want to learn everything I can from D. Ray (clarinet professor) before going onto grad school. It makes sense, that I would like to be exposed to lots of music before I want to conduct it, right?
At the same time, my interaction with everyone (the family, in both senses of the term, friends) has been about zilch. I have not been fair to everyone, and for that I am sorry. I feel like I am in a swing though, and that I have to continue on this track. Also, I went through a really bad breakup a bit earlier this semester which made me a little pissed at everything, so I removed myself from the situation. Kate seemed to me, the perfect girl, and then she goes and tells me one night, after all that I had done for her, after knowing that I cared for her more than anyone, that "she did not have time to maintain a relationship." I have never been so overwhelmed in my life, and add crushed. From there, I looked to music for support.
I have also faced a lot of demons within myself this semester it seems. I never realized how uncomfortable I was in my playing. I have the voice of doubt constantly running in my head, telling me that I am not good enough and that nothing I do really matters. Telling that to shut the fuck up is probably one of the hardest things i will have to do, and it has already put a strain on me. I know that I am dedicated, and I know what I love, so why can't I just do it!!??
Anyway, Thanks you guys for calling me when you did, and for your emails. I promise you all that I think of you constantly, and I look forward to our next get-together. Welcome back to the states Christopher, and sorry I have not spoken to you in awhile Cecilia, Alex, Jennifer, Bethany... From here I stand in gratitude and undying affection for you all, my friends.
Now I must go to my lesson and play through Weber Concerto No.2. I hope everyone has a splendid weekend.