Blessed
I know I’m very blessed, but somehow that makes the mental illness that much harder. My partner adores me, I have more things than I know what to do with, my creative spirit never dies, and yet there is this lingering sadness that’s sometimes too much to cope with.
I’m not currently suffering from the abuse that I had been, we’ve gotten away, and those people don’t even know where to find me. But the fear and pain don’t know that. They think that disaster is around the corner.
I want to enjoy what I have left of my life. If the recent doctor visit is any indication, my health is on a steady decline. I feel like I can’t stop that from happening, and I need to surrender my pain and just be happy.
This is what I want, so why can’t I manage it?