(no subject)
Dear crowd surfers and slam dancers...
Could you be any more fucking obnoxious? Seriously, if you want to be the most obnoxious person at a show, do both incessantly.
Okay, first, crowd surfing: How incon-fucking-siderate can your douchebag ass be to think "making the crowd support my body weight and guide me along is a fucking AWESOME idea!" Sure, I crowd surfed a little when I was younger, it is fun to do, but risking injury of both yourself and those below you for that fun is fucking douchebaggery at its finest. Dropping the cunts who crowd surf isn't an option either, because it's dangerous as fuck. So you have a bunch of annoyed people saying "oh fuck, a crowd surfer" and pushing your ignorant ass along just so you don't break your fucking neck, then you kick half of them in the head. Fuck that. You're a cock, and expect to be punched in the kidney by me, especially if you kick me in the head.
On to slam dancing: What the fuck is that shit? What the fuck kind of unevolved animal instinct does heavy music bring to the surface in some people that they feel the need to get in a fucking circle and just shove each other around as violently as possible? Nevermind the fact that when there's alcohol involved--and there almost always is--that a fight is almost fucking certain to break out. Buut people have been doing it for decades. I don't care if it's at a Black Flag show in 1980 or a Billy Talent show in 2006, slam dancing is fucking stupid. It's like some kind of ultra-macho mating dance (though that analogy is flawed because it's clearly not attracting you any women). But to quote Ben from his little on-stage rant tonight, "You don't need to show everyone how big your cock is." And don't even think about telling me that shit's a positive way to get out pent up aggression. I can't even comprehend how people might find it fun. Then again, people are fucking retards. I will say one thing though: In some of the circle pits I saw tonight, some of the people had the decency to help up the people who fell. But they were outnumbered probably 5-to-1 by assholes who kept shoving people down. I won't even go into how fucking dangerous it is to be knocked down in a big fucking crowd (that's another thing I have against crowd surfing too, actually; you drop a kid the wrong way into a crowd and bad things will happen). Not applicable to smaller shows, but at a show like the Salmon Festival (which itself is a relatively small festival, so it's even more applicable to major festivals), it's not cool. Then there's the fact that the edge of the circle pit is always changing, which causes a chain reaction amongst the crowd pushing EVERYONE in the crowd around and making everyone uncomfortable as fuck.
Oh, one last thing: If you find yourself bored at a show because you're not slam dancing or crowd surfing, go take up martial arts or go to a goddamn amusement park, because you're obviously not there for the fucking music.
Love,
Jonathan Mikael Kennedy
Could you be any more fucking obnoxious? Seriously, if you want to be the most obnoxious person at a show, do both incessantly.
Okay, first, crowd surfing: How incon-fucking-siderate can your douchebag ass be to think "making the crowd support my body weight and guide me along is a fucking AWESOME idea!" Sure, I crowd surfed a little when I was younger, it is fun to do, but risking injury of both yourself and those below you for that fun is fucking douchebaggery at its finest. Dropping the cunts who crowd surf isn't an option either, because it's dangerous as fuck. So you have a bunch of annoyed people saying "oh fuck, a crowd surfer" and pushing your ignorant ass along just so you don't break your fucking neck, then you kick half of them in the head. Fuck that. You're a cock, and expect to be punched in the kidney by me, especially if you kick me in the head.
On to slam dancing: What the fuck is that shit? What the fuck kind of unevolved animal instinct does heavy music bring to the surface in some people that they feel the need to get in a fucking circle and just shove each other around as violently as possible? Nevermind the fact that when there's alcohol involved--and there almost always is--that a fight is almost fucking certain to break out. Buut people have been doing it for decades. I don't care if it's at a Black Flag show in 1980 or a Billy Talent show in 2006, slam dancing is fucking stupid. It's like some kind of ultra-macho mating dance (though that analogy is flawed because it's clearly not attracting you any women). But to quote Ben from his little on-stage rant tonight, "You don't need to show everyone how big your cock is." And don't even think about telling me that shit's a positive way to get out pent up aggression. I can't even comprehend how people might find it fun. Then again, people are fucking retards. I will say one thing though: In some of the circle pits I saw tonight, some of the people had the decency to help up the people who fell. But they were outnumbered probably 5-to-1 by assholes who kept shoving people down. I won't even go into how fucking dangerous it is to be knocked down in a big fucking crowd (that's another thing I have against crowd surfing too, actually; you drop a kid the wrong way into a crowd and bad things will happen). Not applicable to smaller shows, but at a show like the Salmon Festival (which itself is a relatively small festival, so it's even more applicable to major festivals), it's not cool. Then there's the fact that the edge of the circle pit is always changing, which causes a chain reaction amongst the crowd pushing EVERYONE in the crowd around and making everyone uncomfortable as fuck.
Oh, one last thing: If you find yourself bored at a show because you're not slam dancing or crowd surfing, go take up martial arts or go to a goddamn amusement park, because you're obviously not there for the fucking music.
Love,
Jonathan Mikael Kennedy