My life as of 3/13/09
About an hour ago I was dirt poor and didn't think I had anyway of recovering, well I did, but my pride always keeps me from being helped.
You see I have this problem, that problem being that although I will you give you my last dollar, heaven forbid I let you do the same for me, even if that dollar would mean I'd be able to buy myself something to eat after I'd been starving for a month.
It's that bad.
Even worse, I have noticed that people will open up to me and I will beg them to when I know they need it and usualy they will, but when I'm on the other side and people are asking for me to open up, usually I won't.
It's not fair to them and most improtantly it's not fair to myself.
I can't keep going on like this. When I need help I need help. When I was hired finally after highschool that was it for me, no more help from the parents because they had done enough for me. I told them that and they told me if I needed anything that they were more than willing to help.
Forward to now.
I was too scared, embarrassed, and full of pride to ask my parent for money because I wasn't responsible and didn't check my bank account before buying myself some snacks. Because of this I was charged 8 overdraft fees at 35.00 dollars each.
I was scared to ask him because I didn't want to disappoint him.
I was embarrassed to ask him because I know that my parents are also going through bad times right now and he is the only one working in my family and he has enough to worry about
I was too full of pride to ask because I wanted him to know that I'd be ok, that they already had done everything that they could for me and I knew how to handle things and I wasn't going to let him give me money because he needed it more.
When I was able to ge the ability to call, finally, after texting him, I broke down.
I was told I didn't need to be any of those things because that's what parents are there for, to help, especially when times get like this. He told me to be careful and not in a mean way, but the kindest way possible that I wanted to die. "Just be more careful, I've done the same thing...you're just barely starting, this happens."
This entry is so much more than it seems to be and so much more than you will get.
The money, I plan to give it back. Even that idea, when presented, was said to be unneccesary. But, I am stubborn and he knows it.
It amazes me, they amaze me, how quickly they turned my worst situation on this day to merely nothing. How quickly they helped without even thinking twice and even if they did how they through with it anyway.
What can I be other than grateful. How will I ever repay them for this?
Going to college to earn my own living and being able to help them out is one of my dreams. I dream of the day I can sit at a restuarant with them and be able to pay the meal. To let them know it's my turn to take care of them,oh my god, would mean so much. Because, they have done so much and I would not be here right now or have pushed myself this far with out their help.
I wish I could start taking care of them sooner.
You see I have this problem, that problem being that although I will you give you my last dollar, heaven forbid I let you do the same for me, even if that dollar would mean I'd be able to buy myself something to eat after I'd been starving for a month.
It's that bad.
Even worse, I have noticed that people will open up to me and I will beg them to when I know they need it and usualy they will, but when I'm on the other side and people are asking for me to open up, usually I won't.
It's not fair to them and most improtantly it's not fair to myself.
I can't keep going on like this. When I need help I need help. When I was hired finally after highschool that was it for me, no more help from the parents because they had done enough for me. I told them that and they told me if I needed anything that they were more than willing to help.
Forward to now.
I was too scared, embarrassed, and full of pride to ask my parent for money because I wasn't responsible and didn't check my bank account before buying myself some snacks. Because of this I was charged 8 overdraft fees at 35.00 dollars each.
I was scared to ask him because I didn't want to disappoint him.
I was embarrassed to ask him because I know that my parents are also going through bad times right now and he is the only one working in my family and he has enough to worry about
I was too full of pride to ask because I wanted him to know that I'd be ok, that they already had done everything that they could for me and I knew how to handle things and I wasn't going to let him give me money because he needed it more.
When I was able to ge the ability to call, finally, after texting him, I broke down.
I was told I didn't need to be any of those things because that's what parents are there for, to help, especially when times get like this. He told me to be careful and not in a mean way, but the kindest way possible that I wanted to die. "Just be more careful, I've done the same thing...you're just barely starting, this happens."
This entry is so much more than it seems to be and so much more than you will get.
The money, I plan to give it back. Even that idea, when presented, was said to be unneccesary. But, I am stubborn and he knows it.
It amazes me, they amaze me, how quickly they turned my worst situation on this day to merely nothing. How quickly they helped without even thinking twice and even if they did how they through with it anyway.
What can I be other than grateful. How will I ever repay them for this?
Going to college to earn my own living and being able to help them out is one of my dreams. I dream of the day I can sit at a restuarant with them and be able to pay the meal. To let them know it's my turn to take care of them,oh my god, would mean so much. Because, they have done so much and I would not be here right now or have pushed myself this far with out their help.
I wish I could start taking care of them sooner.