I don't care WHO you are, Read this.
So,
I Belive i will start with a passage from one of my favourite books, Which seems pretty suited to the events of my day.
"If you were to take a plastic bag and place it inside a large bowl, and then, using a wooden spoon, stir the bag around and around the bowl, you could use the expression 'a mixed bag' to describe what you had infront of you, But you would not be using it in the same way i am about to use it now. Although "a mixed bag" sometimes refers to a plastic bag that has been stirred in a bowl, more often it is used to describe a situation that has both good parts and bad parts. An Afternoon at a movie theatre for instance, would be a mixed bag if your favourite movie were showing, but if you had to eat gravel instead of popcorn. A trip to the zoo would be a very mixed bag if the weather were beautiful but if all the man and woman-eating lions were running around loose."
My day was a mixed bag because, However enjoyable it was, the bad parts were very very bad.
My day began with [Actually on reflection my day really wasn't that enjoyable at all] I just seem to make light of a bad situation when a clearly worse one proceeded it.
Cody picked me up [Actually really looking back on it my day was really bad.] from my house and we were watching some stupid show about carrots and we ended up leaving knowing we'd be in a rush for the bus to Kelvin Grove. So, we got to casteldine JUST as james messaged us saying the free loop bus had left.
So, we ended up saying we would meet him at Kelvin Grove because we were going for breakfast.
When we got to Kelvin Grove we drove and drove and Kelvin Drove and there was not a single car park anywhere. So we messaged james ONCE again, [After having to buy petrol because the indicator kept hitting against the empty 'E'.] So we told James we would meet him at Gardens point, and the ONLY place we could get a park that we felt safe in [After a previous towing incident involving both Cody, Myself, Sam and a burleigh Tow-Truck driver who didn't seem to think trading sex from three young supple boys for our car back free of charge was funny.]
So the ONLY safe parking place we got ended up costing us like 14 dollars or seomthing for the hour that we were there, i ordered the wrong coffee, i didn't Get to order my Vegetable Panini and James was running late for his lecture so he had to leave.
So Cody and I hopped back in the car and decided to drive to the Valley to take nice pictures and what not and eat or something. [Most of our time is spent accomplishing random ideas that pop into our heads.]
So we parked in New Farm, and walked to the Valley and took some nice pictures and whatever, and decided to get maccas. [ Number one, big mistake, number two...is it just me or is everyone in the valley mall maccas wierd but you just dont seem to care cause the only time you USUALLY go in there is on a night out when ur too drunk to care. ]
Yer, Big Mistake. Felt Sick.
Then, Cody [who stupidly ordered Two Quater Pounders?] [Anyone who decides it's time to eat half a pound of processed meat should be slapped with it] was holding the Camera and we were walking along and he didn't eat his second burger so he gave it to me and said..'Urgh, i don't want it, You give it to someone.'
So the first nice mad i offered it too didn't seem to ant a burger, free of charge. and the second man i offered it too clearly wanted more than a small squirt of special sauce.. [disregarding the lack of special sauce on a quaterpounder burger.]
So, i held out the burger as he was walking past and he looked at me and took it and said [Keeping in mind, he was NOT a bum, he was about 56, semi well dressed [although vile] and he said to me. 'Is this for me?'
I said, yes.
to which he [Quite rudely] Replied, "Is this all i get?!"
Cody [Whislt filming this on camera, so don't worry we have proof] :P said, " oh there's two packets of Ketchup in there, so..you can have them and he said once again..
"Is this all i get?" I Said..oh Napkins, and pulled out two from my pocket. [I always seem to take far too many napkins form places and end up keeping them in my pocket but they always seem to come in handy] Anyhow, i handed him the napkins and he looked at them and flipped them over and said.. 'Isn't the your number on these Napkins? and i looked at them and said... "Um..No Sorry." He replied, "It should be."
cody politely said Bye and we ran in the opposite direction, the entire length of the valley Mall and i had to wait, sitting, agaisnt a pole outisde Belushi's rocking back and forth for cody to catch up, and we were both terrorfied. We couldn't stop laugihng though, he was the yukkiest man, and the fact that he took the burger and Still wasn't satisfied, hurt and insulted me.
So, Cody and i waslked back into New Farm and drove off, and we were just out of the valley and coming over the hill towards the Hospital and We stalled. The car behind us [A Bright Blue Holden Ute] beeped and honked and Cody and i just waved out the window...and then i belive, he stalled his car.
So, He was Drivey B. Grouch behind us, and when we pulled up next to him a bit further down the road we both smiled and waved at him.
[Now, i think this is the difinative part of my story in wihch it takes a turen for the worse]
The Driver of the ute, who i assume was a builder because he seemed to have the IQ of a towel didn't seem to enjoy Cody and Myself's Hospitalable wave and smile. It just seemed to anger him.
So, he decided to follow us in a rageful manner. He was tail-gating us and we drove all the way to Kedron and he wouldnt stop following us, so we turned down stafford road and he [To use a quote from every film] 'was hot on our tail.' So, We saw all this traffic ahead and there was a red light and Cody and I were like..What do we do?! So cody slowed down, and the Ute man, tried to pull up beside us, but some lady pulled in front of him and stopped him [Thank Fucking Christ] So, The lady drove off and i said to Cody, just Quickly turn down that street and we'll loose him. So, Cody indicated and this made the man Very angry, So, he swerved out over several lanes and blocked our car so we couldnt go striaght ahead, and he was blocking ALL this traffic on Busy Stafofrd Road, so Cody and i quickly turned and he followed and cody had nowhere to go, there was a no through road and a one little lane thing, so we turned down there and the man followed and by now Cody and i are terrorfied, So... We came to another red light but pulled into a gas station and were winding down the windows screaming at anyone we could. The man kept following us, so we pulled another evaisive manouver outta there and got back onto Stafford Road heading back in the opposite way we just came. He kept following so i pulled out my Phone and tried calling other James twice, but apparently A phone with 'Withheld Number' isnt important enough! anyway, i finally found in my phone the number for mobile phone Police and it was ringing and i looked back and showed the angry, Angry man i was on my mobile and im like nodding and he mouthed, something along the lines of... 'Fucking call them!'
[Take a narrative novel approach to this passage]
Two rings...
The Phone Connected..
The man on the other line had an accent and i couldnt understand what he said to me, my hands we sweaty and shaking and i could see the angry ute drive in the rear view mirror.
I told the man on the other end that there was a man that wouldn't stop following us, and he was terribly agressive looking. The calm man on the end of the line repeated what he said previous...
i heard it this time. 'Police, Ambulance or Fire'?
Police i said.. Having never called the police before the adrenaline from that, plus the chase had my heart beating too fast.
'The line connected again'..
'Police, what is your emergency?' This man's voice was even calmer than the first. He was also Australian.
I was shaking like crazy, 'There's a man in a bright blue ute, who is road rage chasing us.'
I didn't know what to say..
'What is your Location?' The man asked?
'Kedron i said, the corner of Gympie road and Stafford Road.'
'Is the Persuit still in Progress' the policeman said.
I looked over my shoulder. Too scared to stick my head out the window i tured and saw the man pull off into a side street and vanishing with a beep of his horn and a hand signal that didn't look nice.
I put the phone back to my ear, it was sweaty and cold.
'He's gone now i said, but we were just terrorfied.'
'Can i get your name?'
'Gareth' i told him... 'G-a-r-e-t-h.'
He asked me my last name and i spelt him that aswell.
'..and you live in McDowall he asked?' I told him that was correct.
He asked me if i would like to make a formal complaint. I said 'No.' and i thanked him and hung up.
Cody and i took the back streets home.
We didn't stop fucking shaking for about an hour and a half afterwards.
Cody said a funny thing, You watch those Oprah specials where they test to see if you can remember details about criminals and things like that.
In a moment of fear and panic, you don't seem to remember in great detail things about the man that is trying to car you down.
Luckily, im a quick thinker and managed a picture of the gentleman.
He looked like a fish crossed with a pudding.
Cody and i got home and decided it was enough excitement for one day.
We watched a film and cody decided to leave to go to his house...Which soon enough won't need be the case.
Every Ute we saw on the way home terrorfied us.
I laughed alot today, which is good i guess.
I bought a sexy jacket for five dollars. [Which doesn't imply much of a sexy..but..you'd be surprised]
I guess my day was a mixed bag after all.
[Love]
Siiigh. Never a dull day. :)
Take care.
Gareth-
I Belive i will start with a passage from one of my favourite books, Which seems pretty suited to the events of my day.
"If you were to take a plastic bag and place it inside a large bowl, and then, using a wooden spoon, stir the bag around and around the bowl, you could use the expression 'a mixed bag' to describe what you had infront of you, But you would not be using it in the same way i am about to use it now. Although "a mixed bag" sometimes refers to a plastic bag that has been stirred in a bowl, more often it is used to describe a situation that has both good parts and bad parts. An Afternoon at a movie theatre for instance, would be a mixed bag if your favourite movie were showing, but if you had to eat gravel instead of popcorn. A trip to the zoo would be a very mixed bag if the weather were beautiful but if all the man and woman-eating lions were running around loose."
My day was a mixed bag because, However enjoyable it was, the bad parts were very very bad.
My day began with [Actually on reflection my day really wasn't that enjoyable at all] I just seem to make light of a bad situation when a clearly worse one proceeded it.
Cody picked me up [Actually really looking back on it my day was really bad.] from my house and we were watching some stupid show about carrots and we ended up leaving knowing we'd be in a rush for the bus to Kelvin Grove. So, we got to casteldine JUST as james messaged us saying the free loop bus had left.
So, we ended up saying we would meet him at Kelvin Grove because we were going for breakfast.
When we got to Kelvin Grove we drove and drove and Kelvin Drove and there was not a single car park anywhere. So we messaged james ONCE again, [After having to buy petrol because the indicator kept hitting against the empty 'E'.] So we told James we would meet him at Gardens point, and the ONLY place we could get a park that we felt safe in [After a previous towing incident involving both Cody, Myself, Sam and a burleigh Tow-Truck driver who didn't seem to think trading sex from three young supple boys for our car back free of charge was funny.]
So the ONLY safe parking place we got ended up costing us like 14 dollars or seomthing for the hour that we were there, i ordered the wrong coffee, i didn't Get to order my Vegetable Panini and James was running late for his lecture so he had to leave.
So Cody and I hopped back in the car and decided to drive to the Valley to take nice pictures and what not and eat or something. [Most of our time is spent accomplishing random ideas that pop into our heads.]
So we parked in New Farm, and walked to the Valley and took some nice pictures and whatever, and decided to get maccas. [ Number one, big mistake, number two...is it just me or is everyone in the valley mall maccas wierd but you just dont seem to care cause the only time you USUALLY go in there is on a night out when ur too drunk to care. ]
Yer, Big Mistake. Felt Sick.
Then, Cody [who stupidly ordered Two Quater Pounders?] [Anyone who decides it's time to eat half a pound of processed meat should be slapped with it] was holding the Camera and we were walking along and he didn't eat his second burger so he gave it to me and said..'Urgh, i don't want it, You give it to someone.'
So the first nice mad i offered it too didn't seem to ant a burger, free of charge. and the second man i offered it too clearly wanted more than a small squirt of special sauce.. [disregarding the lack of special sauce on a quaterpounder burger.]
So, i held out the burger as he was walking past and he looked at me and took it and said [Keeping in mind, he was NOT a bum, he was about 56, semi well dressed [although vile] and he said to me. 'Is this for me?'
I said, yes.
to which he [Quite rudely] Replied, "Is this all i get?!"
Cody [Whislt filming this on camera, so don't worry we have proof] :P said, " oh there's two packets of Ketchup in there, so..you can have them and he said once again..
"Is this all i get?" I Said..oh Napkins, and pulled out two from my pocket. [I always seem to take far too many napkins form places and end up keeping them in my pocket but they always seem to come in handy] Anyhow, i handed him the napkins and he looked at them and flipped them over and said.. 'Isn't the your number on these Napkins? and i looked at them and said... "Um..No Sorry." He replied, "It should be."
cody politely said Bye and we ran in the opposite direction, the entire length of the valley Mall and i had to wait, sitting, agaisnt a pole outisde Belushi's rocking back and forth for cody to catch up, and we were both terrorfied. We couldn't stop laugihng though, he was the yukkiest man, and the fact that he took the burger and Still wasn't satisfied, hurt and insulted me.
So, Cody and i waslked back into New Farm and drove off, and we were just out of the valley and coming over the hill towards the Hospital and We stalled. The car behind us [A Bright Blue Holden Ute] beeped and honked and Cody and i just waved out the window...and then i belive, he stalled his car.
So, He was Drivey B. Grouch behind us, and when we pulled up next to him a bit further down the road we both smiled and waved at him.
[Now, i think this is the difinative part of my story in wihch it takes a turen for the worse]
The Driver of the ute, who i assume was a builder because he seemed to have the IQ of a towel didn't seem to enjoy Cody and Myself's Hospitalable wave and smile. It just seemed to anger him.
So, he decided to follow us in a rageful manner. He was tail-gating us and we drove all the way to Kedron and he wouldnt stop following us, so we turned down stafford road and he [To use a quote from every film] 'was hot on our tail.' So, We saw all this traffic ahead and there was a red light and Cody and I were like..What do we do?! So cody slowed down, and the Ute man, tried to pull up beside us, but some lady pulled in front of him and stopped him [Thank Fucking Christ] So, The lady drove off and i said to Cody, just Quickly turn down that street and we'll loose him. So, Cody indicated and this made the man Very angry, So, he swerved out over several lanes and blocked our car so we couldnt go striaght ahead, and he was blocking ALL this traffic on Busy Stafofrd Road, so Cody and i quickly turned and he followed and cody had nowhere to go, there was a no through road and a one little lane thing, so we turned down there and the man followed and by now Cody and i are terrorfied, So... We came to another red light but pulled into a gas station and were winding down the windows screaming at anyone we could. The man kept following us, so we pulled another evaisive manouver outta there and got back onto Stafford Road heading back in the opposite way we just came. He kept following so i pulled out my Phone and tried calling other James twice, but apparently A phone with 'Withheld Number' isnt important enough! anyway, i finally found in my phone the number for mobile phone Police and it was ringing and i looked back and showed the angry, Angry man i was on my mobile and im like nodding and he mouthed, something along the lines of... 'Fucking call them!'
[Take a narrative novel approach to this passage]
Two rings...
The Phone Connected..
The man on the other line had an accent and i couldnt understand what he said to me, my hands we sweaty and shaking and i could see the angry ute drive in the rear view mirror.
I told the man on the other end that there was a man that wouldn't stop following us, and he was terribly agressive looking. The calm man on the end of the line repeated what he said previous...
i heard it this time. 'Police, Ambulance or Fire'?
Police i said.. Having never called the police before the adrenaline from that, plus the chase had my heart beating too fast.
'The line connected again'..
'Police, what is your emergency?' This man's voice was even calmer than the first. He was also Australian.
I was shaking like crazy, 'There's a man in a bright blue ute, who is road rage chasing us.'
I didn't know what to say..
'What is your Location?' The man asked?
'Kedron i said, the corner of Gympie road and Stafford Road.'
'Is the Persuit still in Progress' the policeman said.
I looked over my shoulder. Too scared to stick my head out the window i tured and saw the man pull off into a side street and vanishing with a beep of his horn and a hand signal that didn't look nice.
I put the phone back to my ear, it was sweaty and cold.
'He's gone now i said, but we were just terrorfied.'
'Can i get your name?'
'Gareth' i told him... 'G-a-r-e-t-h.'
He asked me my last name and i spelt him that aswell.
'..and you live in McDowall he asked?' I told him that was correct.
He asked me if i would like to make a formal complaint. I said 'No.' and i thanked him and hung up.
Cody and i took the back streets home.
We didn't stop fucking shaking for about an hour and a half afterwards.
Cody said a funny thing, You watch those Oprah specials where they test to see if you can remember details about criminals and things like that.
In a moment of fear and panic, you don't seem to remember in great detail things about the man that is trying to car you down.
Luckily, im a quick thinker and managed a picture of the gentleman.
He looked like a fish crossed with a pudding.
Cody and i got home and decided it was enough excitement for one day.
We watched a film and cody decided to leave to go to his house...Which soon enough won't need be the case.
Every Ute we saw on the way home terrorfied us.
I laughed alot today, which is good i guess.
I bought a sexy jacket for five dollars. [Which doesn't imply much of a sexy..but..you'd be surprised]
I guess my day was a mixed bag after all.
[Love]
Siiigh. Never a dull day. :)
Take care.
Gareth-