I need to stop self-analyzing.
Time for another update I suppose. Life moves along. I'm going on this family vacation this weekend that I really don't want to go on...forced togetherness really isn't my bag. I don't think it's anyone's bag. But alas, it's my grandparents 50th wedding aniversary, and I really don't have that much bitterness to refuse their wishes.
I realized something horrible about myself today, in regards to the Joe situation and every other guy friend I've been in love with. I don't think I"m really interested in actually being his friend. Gasp. I came to this conclusion after thinking about why I want to hang out with him so much. It's because I see every time we can out as an opportunity for us to get together (which never happens, but I have hope). I'm dissapointed everytime we don't, or don't make some kind of steps toward that goal. Have I been lying to myself this whole time? Is he really the "best friend" I say he is? Not really. We only actually have fun about half the time. The other half is spend with me crying about some crazy thing, and him generally ignoring me.
I'm a little scared to tell Joe about this whole "I'm not sure I'm truly interested in friendship" thing, but I tell everyone everything, so I'm going to. What if he doesn't want to be my friend anymore if he knows? What am I talking about? If I don't really truly want to be his friend, then why do I care? Maybe I can move past it if I'm really honest with myself, and him. I feel so...fake. And introspective.
Aimee
I realized something horrible about myself today, in regards to the Joe situation and every other guy friend I've been in love with. I don't think I"m really interested in actually being his friend. Gasp. I came to this conclusion after thinking about why I want to hang out with him so much. It's because I see every time we can out as an opportunity for us to get together (which never happens, but I have hope). I'm dissapointed everytime we don't, or don't make some kind of steps toward that goal. Have I been lying to myself this whole time? Is he really the "best friend" I say he is? Not really. We only actually have fun about half the time. The other half is spend with me crying about some crazy thing, and him generally ignoring me.
I'm a little scared to tell Joe about this whole "I'm not sure I'm truly interested in friendship" thing, but I tell everyone everything, so I'm going to. What if he doesn't want to be my friend anymore if he knows? What am I talking about? If I don't really truly want to be his friend, then why do I care? Maybe I can move past it if I'm really honest with myself, and him. I feel so...fake. And introspective.
Aimee