(no subject)
Well, he's going to UT. And for some reason, I couldn't be more miserable. After I got off the phone with him, I got this terrible headache and a feeling like I was going to throw up. That actually lasted all the way until I fell asleep 3 hours later. So I texted him because I'm just so angry with how he's been for the past few months and i want to tell him so I say: "One of these days when you're not so busy I think we need to have a serious talk." And he wrote back asking if I would call right then if it wouldn't take long and what was it about and I wrote back saying not tonight, and that it was about a lot of things. I also angrily said I'm sick of being the only one who calls and then he's always busy, so you call when you can fit me in. I talked to Jessica who knocked some sense into me and told me if I tell him my (angry) feelings towards him, it will be the fastest way to ruin any small chances of us ever getting back together. It just makes me so mad about how unfair it is that I have to act like I don't like him, like I don't care that he's going to UT, and so on. I have to keep this nonchalantness for a long time (maybe till fall '08, maybe even spring) until he decides that a relationship with me is better than being a college player. This is gonna take a long ass time. Either way, if someone else comes along I'm gonna try to be as emotionally available as possible, and I will not wait around for Mr. High School.