A follow-up to the last (locked) entry; training
I don't think (hopefully) that S's e-mail has had any baring on J's opinion of me thusfar. J seems as scared and overwhelmed by all the information and procedures as I was when I started, so I am trying to be sympathetic and help her out as much as I can (even though I am still a noob, myself). I feel like I connect really well with the other, more-experienced CCR, too. I'm slowly getting more comfortable with the people at my job... With my social ineptitude, it just takes me a bit longer than everything else.
I have been disappearing to the bathroom when the other girls start talking about boyfriends, though. I don't want to lie about my relationship status, yet I'm really scared that sharing it freely will have negative consequences. I think that my biggest concern is that straight women will feel threatened by my sexual orientation and that any attempt to be friendly will be taken as flirting. People have grossly misinterpreted my intentions before, and it fucking sucks to be seen as predatory just because I like girls.
I started my training in Trevose on Tuesday. So far, it sucks hairy donkey ass balls. I mean, it is insulting to my intelligence. My learning style is as follows: give me the materials, let me work at my own pace (as in, faster than everybody else) and leave me the fuck alone. I don't want spoon-feeding. I don't want to review everything five-hundred times.
Our trainer goes over everything slowly; we have to take turns reading out loud and do group activities. She also gives out playing cards for "class participation" and whoever has the "best hand" gets prizes. Fuck that; we're not in elementary school (and I hated this kind of thing even then!) At 24, I'm one of the youngest people in the freaking class.
Perhaps this is a rant for another day, but teaching to the lowest common denominator and forcing everyone else to that pace is JUST AS BAD as expecting stragglers to learn at a faster pace. And I have been forced down to the level of slow learners for my entire life. I am so, so tired of it. I'm tired of having my time wasted and my brain dulled. And I have to brave insane traffic to get there and back to have my time wasted and my brain dulled.
In other news, I've finished the Harry Potter series in its entirety. I have mixed feelings on it. I really enjoy the storyline and Rowling has an amazing sense of humor, but it seems like there's so much extraneous stuff in all the books that really could have been condensed or edited out. Some parts really drag, but others are very intense and awesome.
I've become disturbingly domestic since I've been staying with Rebecca, cooking and cleaning and such. And that is about all there is to report right now.
I have been disappearing to the bathroom when the other girls start talking about boyfriends, though. I don't want to lie about my relationship status, yet I'm really scared that sharing it freely will have negative consequences. I think that my biggest concern is that straight women will feel threatened by my sexual orientation and that any attempt to be friendly will be taken as flirting. People have grossly misinterpreted my intentions before, and it fucking sucks to be seen as predatory just because I like girls.
I started my training in Trevose on Tuesday. So far, it sucks hairy donkey ass balls. I mean, it is insulting to my intelligence. My learning style is as follows: give me the materials, let me work at my own pace (as in, faster than everybody else) and leave me the fuck alone. I don't want spoon-feeding. I don't want to review everything five-hundred times.
Our trainer goes over everything slowly; we have to take turns reading out loud and do group activities. She also gives out playing cards for "class participation" and whoever has the "best hand" gets prizes. Fuck that; we're not in elementary school (and I hated this kind of thing even then!) At 24, I'm one of the youngest people in the freaking class.
Perhaps this is a rant for another day, but teaching to the lowest common denominator and forcing everyone else to that pace is JUST AS BAD as expecting stragglers to learn at a faster pace. And I have been forced down to the level of slow learners for my entire life. I am so, so tired of it. I'm tired of having my time wasted and my brain dulled. And I have to brave insane traffic to get there and back to have my time wasted and my brain dulled.
In other news, I've finished the Harry Potter series in its entirety. I have mixed feelings on it. I really enjoy the storyline and Rowling has an amazing sense of humor, but it seems like there's so much extraneous stuff in all the books that really could have been condensed or edited out. Some parts really drag, but others are very intense and awesome.
I've become disturbingly domestic since I've been staying with Rebecca, cooking and cleaning and such. And that is about all there is to report right now.