Hubby: So, I set my alarm to go get Drama Queen from school today, but I forgot to take it off vibrate.

Me: Ok, that could be bad.

Hubby: Well, I was dreaming, and in my dream someone said there was a "Vertical Vibration" and I woke up, because the phone was vibrating on the nightstand.

Me: *LOL* Well, that certainly puts a new spin on putting ( Read more... )

Me: Hey, I'm doing a lab in school tomorrow. I need you to find me some 95% ethanol.

Hubby: Ok... and how do I find you that?

Me: Um... 190 Proof Everclear. Oh, and if you find it, get me some bananas, too.

Hubby: ... and watermelon, and grapes, and fruitpunch too, right?

Me: *climbs into bed with a sleeping husband and curls up behind him*

Hubby: *clear as day and completely sound asleep* "I think I found dinner."

Me: "Ok. What is it?"

Hubby: "Little. And nervous."

Random Guy 1: *stomp stomp stomp* down stairs

Random Guy 2: *stomp stomp BUUUURP stomp*

Me: "That was about a two."

Random Guy 2: "Out of how many?"

Me: "Ten."

Random Guy 2: *looks embarassed*

Random Guy 1: *laughs hysterically*

Me: *puts toes on hubby's foot*

Hubby: Yow. How can your toes be so cold?

Me: I'm heating my body efficiently, keeping my trunk warm.

Hubby: They're colder than the surrounding environment. Your toes are combatting Global Warming!

Me: I'm so quoting you.

Angsty Boy: *talking about "head on, apply directly to your forehead*

Hubby: *grabs cast iron skillet* "Come here and I'll apply this to your forehead. Wonder what note it will make."

Angsty Boy: "I know how to find out. Hit yourself on the head and subtract about twenty years."

OWNED!!!

Angsty Boy: *SINGing* I've got a library card, library card... I've got a li-b-ary ca-ard....

Talking with children on the phone...

Me: "So, what was my hairspray doing in your bedroom?"

Angsty Boy:"How should I know?"

Me: "Well, I found it in one of your drawers..."

Angsty Boy: "Ok, hypothetically, this could be why it was there...."

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Me: "I found a spoon and a Gerber multitool in your room. ( Read more... )

*conversation on YIM while children are being obnoxious while putting away groceries*Me: can we have baked Emo Boy for dinner ( Read more... )