it hurt so deep

[saviour_machine]

the only thing the makes me stop crying is pondering the koan-

What was the form of your face before your parents were born?

I desperately need a happinesss project
an escape, a self-deception, meaning I can memorize

I could name for one all that I lack
I could name for one nothing I possess

no tides
just a body bereft of a heart
no tears
just a numbness beyond a savior
no blood
life is no way to treat an animal

crippled by impressionism and murdered by reality
i hope i die before im forty