i wake up, don't know how i got there
Okay, see, I write that long entry and John Scalzi has already summarized it by saying (roughly): "when you fail at being clever, you become 'asshole.'"
I think my problem*
*the
panda in my head is saying "your ONLY problem?" and laughing hysterically, but I blame this on the fact that the one in my head is not connected to
panda in reality except by how well I know her, so the one in my head doesn't have migraines, whereas the real one does. Bones, if you're curious, sometimes the you-without-migraines can be a bit of an asshole, but that might just be me bleeding through.
As I said, I think my problem is that I forget this all the goddamn time, and then I only recognize that I'm actually being an asshole... when it is in the past tense. When hindsight is 20/20. Use your favorite metaphor here.
Seriously, yesterday I gravely insulted a gas station attendant, my own mother (BEHIND HER BACK TO MY FATHER), a close friend's dog (who has cancer... yeah) and probably some other people I don't remember-not because they weren't important! but because yesterday was evidently Be Extremely Insulting To Everyone By Accident Day.
If this explains your yesterday as well, I'm sorry I didn't get the holiday notice out in advance, but next year maybe I'll do better.
Most people kick themselves for l'esprit d'escalier; I want to turn that shit off. I am not interested in being an asshole! And, really, my sense of humor (such as it is) only makes this worse, because even the people who know me well think well, that was kind of mean sometimes most of the time always but she probably meant well!
I'm not even going to try to rationalize the comparison I made of a close friend's dog (who has cancer and is undergoing intensive radiation therapy and is presumably on painkillers) to Lindsay Lohan (who ... is on drugs a lot and does not have cancer that I am aware of). Luckily he thought it was humorous, and it was slightly less of a giant dick move in context, but ... what the fuck, self. What the fuck.
On the very small good things side, my icon for this entry is so completely appropriate I'm a little impressed with myself.
Originally posted at Dreamwidth. Comment there (
), or feel free to comment here.
I think my problem*
*the
panda in my head is saying "your ONLY problem?" and laughing hysterically, but I blame this on the fact that the one in my head is not connected to
panda in reality except by how well I know her, so the one in my head doesn't have migraines, whereas the real one does. Bones, if you're curious, sometimes the you-without-migraines can be a bit of an asshole, but that might just be me bleeding through.
As I said, I think my problem is that I forget this all the goddamn time, and then I only recognize that I'm actually being an asshole... when it is in the past tense. When hindsight is 20/20. Use your favorite metaphor here.
Seriously, yesterday I gravely insulted a gas station attendant, my own mother (BEHIND HER BACK TO MY FATHER), a close friend's dog (who has cancer... yeah) and probably some other people I don't remember-not because they weren't important! but because yesterday was evidently Be Extremely Insulting To Everyone By Accident Day.
If this explains your yesterday as well, I'm sorry I didn't get the holiday notice out in advance, but next year maybe I'll do better.
Most people kick themselves for l'esprit d'escalier; I want to turn that shit off. I am not interested in being an asshole! And, really, my sense of humor (such as it is) only makes this worse, because even the people who know me well think well, that was kind of mean sometimes most of the time always but she probably meant well!
I'm not even going to try to rationalize the comparison I made of a close friend's dog (who has cancer and is undergoing intensive radiation therapy and is presumably on painkillers) to Lindsay Lohan (who ... is on drugs a lot and does not have cancer that I am aware of). Luckily he thought it was humorous, and it was slightly less of a giant dick move in context, but ... what the fuck, self. What the fuck.
On the very small good things side, my icon for this entry is so completely appropriate I'm a little impressed with myself.
Originally posted at Dreamwidth. Comment there (
), or feel free to comment here.